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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird situation with a courier

97 replies

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 09:34

The access to our rural property was very difficult when we bought it and we have recently completed work to have a driveway built, making it easier to turn around (we are the last house on a long narrow lane on a steep hill). Last Thursday builders were just finishing off and the access was blocked by DH truck, when a courier arrived with a parcel. DS15 answered the door and the courier got very close to him and was ranting that he couldn’t turn around. Hearing this I came to the door and said he should calm down and stop shouting, and that I would get my husband to move the truck (I can’t as I am not licenced to drive it). When I said this he courier went berserk and ran at me waving his arms and shouting “get him, get the big man, I am not scared of him or no one, get him, I’ll show him”. DH was working on a building project behind the house and was unaware of the courier, so I decided it was best not to escalate the situation so I repeate ‘you need to calm down’ and walked back in the house. He reversed down, which I am sure was difficult.

I reported it to the shop and saved the cctv footage of his outburst which clearly shows him aggressively charging at me and his snarling contorted face etc. They apologised and said the couriers company/management would be in touch.

On Tuesday I was telephoned by the courier who was verbally aggressive on the phone shouting at me and and accusing me of ‘you pissed me off threatening me with your big boyfriend. He’s massive isn’t he, 6 footer eh? Why you do that, it was out of order’
I was completely taken back and just repeated that I has calmly told him my husband would come and move his truck, no threats had been made. He said he had a parcel for me and I said I felt it was best if he left it for now, and ended the call by saying “i’m going to go now, I can’t have aggression directed at me and I need this sorting out officially” he stared shouting again but I ended the call.

Yesterday he called again. His opening statement was “we have a big problem here’ and then launched into a rant about all the parcels he’d brought me over the last few months and how grateful I should be, how he felt I was threatening him and I had to accept his behaviour as ‘he’s not scared of anyone’ , how all his customers love him ‘black people, white people, everyone gets likes me and I have no problems you are causing this problem’ etc. When I could get a word in I asked why he was calling me and he said he had a parcel and unless he delivered it today, I would never get a delivery again. I asked him to take the parcel to the depot and ask his manager to call me”
He then said ‘managers name asked me to call you, he thinks you’re a trouble maker’
So I just said, right, okay, let’s leave it there, I’m going now and ended the call. I later got a text saying my parcel was at a local shop but I can collect it as I working hours so can’t get there to collect it.

So what now? The courier hasn’t contacted me - I have made a formal complaint. My first parcel was from M&S who were very apologies, the second is amazon who again have apologised but how can I find out what is happening with the courier? I am worried he’s going to return and be aggressive, we live very rurally. I also have a delivery set up for medications and lots of other things as I am disabled. I am very anxious and couldn’t sleep last night although that seems a bit silly in the light of day.

Sorry it’s long. Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
Shiklah · 08/11/2018 11:09

Thanks so much for the support everyone. I am emailing the DPD office PP kindly gave above and have sent it all to the head office.

I've rewatched the footage - it is awful - he turns and charges at mew with his arms waving and a horrible snarling expression. I am in a weird mental state where I can see his behaviour is outrageous, DS has confirmed this too, and yet I keep telling myself I am being silly and OTT and am probably imagining it. But I'm not. FFS.

I am worried calling 101 will have negative unintended consequences due to a poor previous experience when I was stalked years ago. I think I need to get a grip, I am very grateful for the help.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 08/11/2018 11:13

As a PP said, if he gets disciplined or loses his contract because of this he is not going to react well is he? In fact I would say he is more likely to retaliate than if he knows the police are involved.

Why wait and see if he does? Protect yourself by reporting him now so if he does turn up at your home again the police will be able to respond much quicker.

Gabilan · 08/11/2018 11:17

I would definitely use a non-emergency number to contact the police. Then contact DPD again and say you have spoken to the police and that you are concerned about his behaviour and that he is probably doing this to other people. Make it clear that there is a record of his behaviour and that should he do anything really untoward, it is on record that they knew this could happen.

In the meantime, as a temporary solution, can you rig up a safe delivery box just beside your property? Change the delivery instructions to leave things in a safe place and then he shouldn't need to interact with you. (Doens't mean he won't, but does cut down the need).

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 11:20

Thanks
I completely agree with what everyone is saying but in my experience the Police do not react to things like this as you would hope. When I was stalked they said it was coincidence and then I was told I thought a lot of myself, then it was suggested that by reporting it I was harassing him in some way. It only stopped when DH did threaten him which was not what we wanted to happen, DH is not a confrontational aggressive person at all but is very tall.

I am thinking it all thru. I know it is frustrating when the OP won't do what seems the obvious solution, it's just that I have had such a poor experience. But I totally accept what you are all saying is correct.

OP posts:
TenForward82 · 08/11/2018 11:26

Call 101. You say you worry he won't do anything then say you are. He's been harassing and threatening you. He needs to be sacked. Or if they're too crap to do that they need to send another driver in place of him. Call 101.

EmotionallyDestroyed · 08/11/2018 11:28

@Shiklah Yes but you have CCTV PROOF of the crime you are alleging!!!!!!!!!

Jesus H Christ!!!

EmotionallyDestroyed · 08/11/2018 11:29

How can you work with vulnerable teenagers when you minimise things so spectacularly?!?!

Mookatron · 08/11/2018 11:30

EmotionallyDestroyed are you the delivery guy? slightly aggressive posts...

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/11/2018 11:31

I was about to say the same.....the difference is that here you have unrefutable proof of what he did. That makes all the difference.

Hutchismo · 08/11/2018 11:35

Tweet a link to this thread to DPD and ask them if they are likely to do anything about it.

twitter.com/dpd_uk

YeOldeTrout · 08/11/2018 11:40

In future could your son or your husband fetch parcels from the shop?

SilentIsla · 08/11/2018 11:45

This person should not be doing the job. Get the police involved. You do not have to put up with this - it’s insane!

SilentIsla · 08/11/2018 11:46

“Jesus H Christ”? What a vile expression.

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 11:47

I had proof last time and an an associate of the stalker received a 22 year sentence for very serious crimes. It was utterly terrifying and I nearly lost my mind.
I agree with what you are saying.
Yes DH could collect the parcels but it will be a huge pita. We live 15 minutes from the shop and our work/school/sports etc pretty much everything we do is in a tine about 20 mins in the opposite direction - we never drive thru so it would be a 30 min round trip each time. I can of course start going to the shops etc, I would just prefer this not to blow up and cause a huge issue.

A big part of them work I do is accepting some poor behaviour so that the teens I work with build trust and then we work together to improve things. Many of them are victims of grooming and lack boundaries, they trust me because I accept them and sometime that means accepting someone pushing boundaries. None of them have ever behaved aggressively towards me thou, around me yes., not towards me.

OP posts:
SilentIsla · 08/11/2018 11:47

The police. Now.

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 11:49

A kind MN has messaged me contact details for the investigations team and I have emailed them. Thanks
I will have it noted by 101 due to the advice given. I think the police are too busy to do anything but I accept I have a lopsided view.

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 08/11/2018 11:57

Oh you have my sympathies! I live rurally and had a run in with our only delivery man.

He banged hard on my front door and when I answered he was livid and shouted "I'VE BEEN KNOCKING FOR AGES!" and I said I hadn't heard him and he said "WELL SOMEONE"S IN THERE! I LOOKED!"

At my DD's bedroom!

I was SO angry I frightened him off my step....threatened him and reported.

Now he leaves my parcels at the post office and I pick them up.

Fucking looked in my window indeed!

ReanimatedSGB · 08/11/2018 12:02

Definitely inform the police. This prick is a bully, and ought to be dismissed. It's possible that the issue is he's the only person willing to deliver in a rural area, of course, but that doesn't mean he gets a free pass to harass and abuse customers.

Sonders · 08/11/2018 12:04

I'm so sorry about this OP! What a turd this guy is.

I would also report to the ICO. Your personal data has been used for harassment, and I'm guessing you only shared your number for delivery updates - not a bollocking off some dickhead - in which case it breaks GDPR.

It could result in a fine for DPD of literally millions, so they'll probably pay attention!

GetSchwifty · 08/11/2018 12:05

Can you attach the cctv footage to the emails you’re sending to DPD?

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 12:13

That is a good tactic Sonders.

I have had a reply from the investigations team apologising for the delay and telling they are investigating. At last.

OP posts:
Shiklah · 08/11/2018 12:14

Yes I have sent them the footage, stills, call log and all the details.

OP posts:
drspouse · 08/11/2018 12:16

I had an issue with Hermes that delivered food into our wheelie bin and expensive clothes were left in sight. When I ordered again from the companies in question I said I did not want the items delivered by this company, only by Royal Mail, and they did. Can you get that specified on future orders?

Shiklah · 08/11/2018 12:21

We are limited with deliveries in our area. I will just stop ordering from M&S altogether but Amazon are more problematic.

I will see what the investigation finds. I hate having to do this, such a waste of time. Stupid nasty man, why cant people just do their jobs properly, I get on really well with the other courtiers/postie etc.

OP posts:
smithsally884 · 08/11/2018 12:33

The thing is you exacerbated the situation by not getting your dh to move the truck and making the guy reverse down a long narrow steep lane.Of course he was angry. You seem to be conflating anger with threatening behaviour