What is wrong with me? Lost the plot because my husband said he's ill

[Whatonearthiswrongwithme]

I feel like such a cow. I'm actually crying because my husband is in bed ill. I do feel sympathetic but I've recently been the illest I've been in a long time and been on my own with absolutely no help whatsoever after several nights up all night on my own with DS. All I wanted was for someone to give me the chance to rest in bed. I just feel consumed by the unfairness of it and now have to sort the house which is an enormous tip and various other errands today with baby which he recuperates.

To cap it off it seems like a different bug and DH refuses to hand wash because he says he probably caught the same one. Then he says "sorry for being sick" to make me feel bad (I really do and am going out to get pain medicine for him) but I don't think I can cope with poor DS getting ill again.

I know I'm being unreasonable and a cow - please talk me down!

It's not his fault if you are insisting on cleaning the house and doing chores rather than having a well earned rest!

YES IT IS! He is refusing to wash his hands, meaning that the OP has to do double the work trying to keep the infection at bay to avoid her and their son getting it!

If the OP has a martyrdom complex and feels that she can never go to bed when she's ill that's completely her issue.

If you are a grown adult female and feel ill you are perfectly at liberty to go to bed! Am I the only one who realises this shit??

All true, unless you have children! It sounds like the OP hasn't had much choice about whether to get up with their son at night and look after him during the day, so being upset that she isn't going to get a break doesn't make her a martyr, just a mum who can't ignore her son.

I also think the lack of handwashing is more than 'grim', it is selfish, stupid and completely thoughtless of him to risk passing on his germs to his wife and child when they have both already been ill and when she's close to breaking point. Why would you even consider risking it?

Was your husband away or something? Was there a reason he couldn't help?

If not, he's a dick and would get zero help back.

He should get the same level of care from you that you got from him whilst you were ill.

I totally understand your concern about infecting your DS, but if you were able to keep an eye on him when you were ill then your husband should be able to manage the same whilst you have a nap. Tell him that not washing his hands is unacceptable and risking his child's health.

Be kind to yourself and maybe let the housework etc slide whilst you have a rest.

Was there a reason you had to look after DS overnight when you were unwell - was your husband away or something? When you are both feeling better I might have a discussion about the division of childcare and household chores.