To be sad that I don't have a good friend in my life.

[3littlesandme]

It's been one of those long days today and now the dc are in bed it's got me thinking I would love a good friend to sound off to and have a giggle with.

Over the years I've grown apart from many of my friends. I have 1 good girlfriend, but we can go weeks without speaking sometimes.

Do you have that friend you can go to no matter what? How can I get me one?

@BlaaBlaaBlaa thats lovely that you have met a group like that! I still hope one day I'll have friends like that.

Ihave had friendships like it in the past but have been royally let down and used by people. It is a sad fact that the true meaning of friendship gets lost and people don't know what it means!

Why don't you start a WhatsApp group with some of the posters on here op?

You all sound lovely.

I love the WhatsApp group I'm in and find it a constant bubbly source of comfort - did good times and bad!

@3littlesandme thank you. I get what you mean, i know a lot of people but i have no one i can just pick up the phone and have a good natter to! (I have family but its not the same). I have always got on better with men than women but these friendships have always died out when They have got a new girlfriend (even though ive been with dp for over 13 yrs). I do feel quite sad about it some times.

I feel the same as you. My best friend lives 100s miles away and we go months without talking. After I had my DD my friends dropped of the face of the earth and my DP works away for months at a time. I think coming up to winter/Xmas it feels a bit worse. Ive downloaded ‘mummy social’ to try and meet people. I hope you find some lovely friends soon.

I have some good friends from years ago who live hundreds of miles away and I see maybe once a year.
I feel like you.
My eldest son is in year 1 and I am friendly and sociable with quite a few other mums but I definitely haven't found anyone that I truly gel with.
Actually though my husband and I and our son live in our own little bubble and it doesn't bother me most of the time. But it does sometimes!

Nope! Not one! I'm so lonely xx

@MindBodyChocolate That's easier to say though when you have a partner/husband. Some of us have no friends or partner!

I have a few good friends but I only see each of them every few months. I don’t have a group of friends, probably because I live in a different city to where I grew up or went to uni. I really wish I did. I have a husband and a very close sister, but I really miss having a proper friend that I can chat to every day.

Thank you 3Littlesandme - I think the tough times and hard days highlight the feeling of being alone. Like a pp said I feel like I'd bring good things to a friendship but in terms of your last question in the first post - how to get one? I think I've done the right things - joined baby group, got on committees, made an effort to go to Mum nights out, give invites, but I've lived here 15 years and DC are 11 and 10 and everyone seems to either have a best friend already or just not meet halfway or reciprocate at all. Can't force it. I work part time and not found a best friend through that either though I do have friends but not a BFF as DD would say. Not someone I'd call in a crisis on a really bad day.
Maybe one day it'll happen - sending big wishes to everyone on here - at least some of you will find a close friend when you're least expecting it, I bet. You all sound lovely and deserving of that.

Yes I have people I can speak to but I'm very careful with what I say. I want to feel like I can let my guard down.

This thread has changed my attitude a bit. I love a natter on the phone or a bit of messaging banter. I'm reliable and empathetic but I don't know many people who like to chat on the phone anymore. They will.message only. I think it's sad. I get that everyone is busy. So it's been good to read on here that many of you would love to chat. Most people I know need weeks and weeks of notice to meet up, or have to check their diary, 'possibly/maybe/not sure if free, will let me know'. I don't tend to take it personally - though maybe I should 🤣 I like people who make family and friends a priority..

I have 3 best friends who I feel I could call any time or say anything to, although we don't usually phone, we just WhatsApp or text back and forth. They all live at least an hour away though. I would love a local best friend but find it really hard to find someone to click with. I posted about it the other day - other people seem to find their tribes so easily! But then reading these posts I wonder whether actually there are more people who feel like me than I realise, and actually I'm the lucky one for having 3 great friends out there.

Sorry you feel lonely OP, I hope someone great crosses your path soon.

I didn't have any friends other than my husband. Then I had our son and made lots of friends. Some I don't talk to anymore not out of love but just we had our time together then grew apart.
Others are still going very strong but we all put a lot into the friendship. We meet if we can every week. We invest in the friendship.
We started a book club. That's a wonderful way to meet potential friends. Join a class.
I've got friend from when I did my diploma in counselling, friends from my son's school, friends introduced me to their friends etc.
Just be open to meet people. I was 38 when I made new friends. I'm 50 now.

I have lots of very good friends. Some I have known for 35 years. I do meet new friends through work, networks etc and some are transient but some stay around for ever. I do make a huge effort to keep in touch with people however and am always organising dates etc to catch up. It's easy to just come home from work and veg out...before you know it months have passed since you last saw them. I keep a diary of people I want to see each month and to make sure time doesn't drift. I am very generous with my time and my close friends know they can call me anytime. I'm also very open with them and loyal.
It does take work to maintain friendships but I find it very worthwhile and feel very lucky with the friends I have.

I don't have any family here in the UK. My family are all in America, Mexico and Guatemala.

I don't have a best friend either, or a close friend. I have sisters, DP is my best friend I suppose. I had one for years she moved away, we still stay in contact but have not seen her in a few years.
I would like to meet someone new or a group to have casual fun, looking after the DC house and work I am not sure I could commit to a close friendship, I am always wary of new friends to begin with and don't share secrets early. Id be a crap friend

I can let my guard down slightly with the friend that lives miles away. We have known each other since we were 2, we have drifted apart for years then come back together but i find she is a bit of a cf. I only hear from her when she wants a cheap weekend away. ( i live in a -shitty- touristy area) And converstations are dominated by her. So i can say what i want because she generally isn't listening. The other friend i only see if i go round to hers. She Never comes to me. We literally live 5 streets away from each other! And the people i work with are the same, i am the first person they come to when they want a favor, i have worked there 6years yet i am still to be invited anywhere with anyone ( there was one girl i got very close with and we used to go out but she moved away and we lost contact) it is a very female orientated too (8 men amongst 120 women!) And again i get on with the men better, but these friendships are soured by the cattyness of people and them not understanding men and women can be friends without shagging!

Some mumsnetters started a Facebook group to support each other, I think it was called something along the lines of mum chums. I also think the idea of a WhatsApp group isn’t a bad one. A friendly message and chatting about what you watched on tv might seem a small thing but it can also be a real boost to your sense of well being.

💐 for all those who are feeling lonely.

YDNBU. I have been thinking the exact same way about myself recently. I often feel lonely and like I have no friends, although I have 4 very good, seperate friends. Ive had a very difficult few years, where I've lost both my parents, with my DF being the most recent and have had lots of shit to deal with since his passing. It's his 1st anniversary coming up and I'm beginning to feel more and more alone and "friendless!!"

Me neither. I have friends locally I socialise with, but no-one with whom I would share a serious. My oldest friends live 200 miles away and we see one another a couple of times a year. My support network is close family- DH, DM, DF, DPIL, DSIL, and increasingly as they are growing up, DDs. I consider myself very lucky.

Isn't it a shame that so many of us on here are in the same boat. If we could just pair up, it'd be a problem solved!!

Nah, friends are overrated but then I'm a bit of an introvert who's happy in their own company and finds socialising outside DH and close family tiring.

But then we're all different so YANBU.

I've got a couple of friends, but not what I'd call close friends. I feel we just talk about superficial things, and they don't really know me at all, if that makes sense. It's probably my fault though; I'm not really into typical popular 'girly' stuff, a bit of an introvert, and tend to find that on the odd occasion when I've felt brave enough to share something about myself, people either aren't interested or think I'm odd.

I don't have any either. Or a DP. And my DC are all adults.

I don't live in the UK and anyway I don't want a Facebook or whatsapp group...there are a few people who comment on my social media posts or message me but what I'd really like is someone to actually do things with or talk to in person.

There aren't any meet-up-type groups where I am and I can't act or sing, I'm not religious...so it's hard to know where I could meet anyone even if I didn't have horrendous social anxiety

I'm the same. No friends really. People I talk to or see once every few months. It's so lonely. People who have a DP and kids are so lucky. I live alone. I've tried hobbies but I'm not sporty and my interest lies in solo activities unfortunately haha doesn't lead to many friendships.