Making a fuss about 4 year old at school?

[gruffalomom]

So my dc started reception class in September.

They were full time in Nursery before that, so we are used to relationship issues and occasional harsh words. Though they had a nice little friendship group and they were super happy and confident.

We knew it would be a change going to school without any of the nursery friends and were prepared for ups and downs nut for since the week before half term my dc has been physically injured by another child every school day.

I'm talking accident form injured not a little play fighting.

I have raised it gently to his teacher and them when it continued to the headteacher.

They promised supervision, but every time so far has happened whilst under supervision - usually at registration

They have said they are tackling it with the other child but beyond supervision they can't even reassure me they are keeping them separated.

I totally get that 4 year olds can be a but rough and tumble but surely this child is now a predictable risk?

I have no issues with the other child , I just want mine kept safe, but the school are making me feel silly for making an issue of it.

AIBU to keep on at them? I don't really know what to do now.

I wish people understood that the term SEN covers a large range of things from learning difficulties to social problems to physical disabilities and behavioural disorders. It's not relevant to the OP though as her priority is her chld safeguarding includes safeguarding from children with SEN so whether the child has SEN is irrelevant.

OP i agree with others, what you have described is dreadful and I would be on at the governors and looking at pulling my child out of school asap. it's a wonder your child is not making a fuss about going in each morning given the circumstances.

Keep a diary
Email each incident into school
Ask for a review date
Ask for the complaints procedure (anti bullying policy is pointless)
Ask for the behaviour policy
Ask who the school governors are

The problem with moving classes is you'd tart a stampede!! Head doesn't want that - if it's not your child it'll be someone else's

Think about moving schools because this doesn't usually go away

I would be asking the school which year does the anti bullying policy start? Utterly ridiculous to say that the kids are too young for this to not be considered bullying.

I’m a bloody tiger when it comes to my child. I would be going bonkers if this was my son.
Your little boy has been deliberately targeted by this other child who has caused daily injuries - now I don’t have a doctorate from Oxford but that sure sounds like deliberate bullying to me.
I would print off the anti bullying policy and with a highlighter pen I would highlight all of the applicable parts which cover what your son is enduring ( ie physical bullying, causing mental distress etc) . Then I would send this to the head and the chair of governors stating that you want to raise an official complaint and you require answers to the list of questions below - which would include 1) ?What measures of supervision are in place since you first reported this. 2) why is your son still being injured on a daily basis 3) At what point does this become a safeguarding issue. 4) Why has nothing been done by the school since their supervision is obviously failing your son. 5) how do they intend to make your son feel safe at school. 6) Since you have been told that it can’t be bullying due to age then why does it not state on their anti bullying policy which years this apples to. And so on.....

You need to be angry! Sound confident. Sound like you will take this as far as you need to in order to protect your son. Tell them that you will have no hesitation whatsoever in taking this matter up with OFSTED if your son is injured one more time. ( you do actually have to go through the complaints procedure before OFSTED will become involved which usually means including othe chair of governors and havingbthe school hold an investigation)
Schools - in my experience- will do anything to try and convince parents that their child 8snt being bullied. This is because they HAVE TO record EVERY incident of bullying and every one counts against them at OFSTED inspections.
Your son has been injured and hurt every day for the past 10 school days IN THE BLOODY CLASSROOM.!! WHILE BEIMG SUPERVISED,!!! I would be ripping the head a new arsehole frankly!
And, please please tell your child that you are going to ensure he is safe and thatnthis other child does not hurt him again. He needs to know you are 100% on his side, fighting as best you can and doing all you can to protect him. Do not waver from this- your son needs your support more than ever . The head and teachers have been dismissive and patronising with you. Take a strong friend or relative in if need be but FGS - do it tomorrow.

I’m a bit confused. How does your child end up being so badly injured from fairly innocuous tough behaviour? Obviously I’m not saying that the behaviour is acceptable but I don’t understand how pushing/hitting is leading to egg sized bumps or noticible bruising. I would be suspicious that the school is hiding something from you or that your child may have done underlying health problem. The injuries that you describe really aren’t consistent with the incidents that the school has reported.

because they HAVE TO record EVERY incident of bullying and every one counts against them at OFSTED inspections

This is only true of written complains - verbal complaints 'don't count'

I second the advise to move schools.

If you are going to write to the governors, then you need to do it as a formal complaint, following the complaints policy.

Social, Emotional and behavioural difficulties (SEBD)
This is covered by SEN.

Even if the child does have SEN the school should be on top of this. My DS has Sen and so does his best friend (infact they have the same diagnosises) neither of them have any situational awareness, awareness of their own strength or if they are hurting each other so they can get pretty rough and tumble when playing. They're in the same reception class at school, and funny enough neither child has ever come home with an injury from either each other or other kids, nor have I ever been notified of an injury caused by DS because they're kept seperated from each other during class time.

It is completely possible to do so even when SEN is involved so that shouldnt be assumed. School is failing you here!

Aw your ds.

Sounds like school are refusing to call it what it is. (Bullying) and are minimising.

And chances are if there are any SN they probably will just claim.There's nothing they can do anyway.

Not your problem.
Chances are he's just badly behaved and a bully. If he's doing it purely to.him.and is ckearky smart enough to know when the teachers eyes aren't on him then this is actually very calculated and targeted.

They clearly don't really care and it's just going to get worse. If there's another schopl one where behaviour is taken seriously and kids are safe then apply.

Life's too short for this crap if there are other options.

This is totally unacceptable OP. The school have a statutory duty of care to keep children safe. They are clearly not doing this.

I’m afraid my DD has been on the receiving end of simmilar, I have spoken to them numerous times and been told that she is bringing on herself, that he can’t be expected to know that no means no. Has SEN etc. It is only now being properly dealt with after she came home with nasty facial injuries ( which the school passed off as an acident..)and I have been into to see the school 5 times in 3 days.

Dd has been at the school ( in nursery) for 2 year already and she is well known to staff as a gently child who has never been in trouble. I am well known to staff as a fellow professional who has been very reasonable about previous ( smaller) incidents and issues. Despite all this it has taken me jumping up and down and demanding meetings with the head to be taken seriously. I am discovering that you really do have to fight their corner OP. Good luck.