A bit of backstory first: DP and I have been together 5 years, he suffers from anxiety and when we first got together had really low self esteem. Lately he’s just been taking me for granted, bailing on plans, generally moaning whenever I ask him to do anything with me and just making comments which make me feel shit about myself. I have pulled him up on this and he always says sorry, seems apologetic and like he genuinely didn’t mean it in the way I’ve taken it.
Anyway the other weekend I had to nag him to come out with my friends and I for a friends birthday. He moans before, gets into the club and he’s perked up a bit. Male friend who’s birthday it is mentions going to a strip club, DP perks up even more. All the other girlfriends seem to want to go to, so I don’t want to be a party pooper. We get to the strip club, once inside I get a text from some of the girlfriends to say they’ve changed their minds. So here I am, only girlfriend stupid enough to come in and not particularly enjoying myself and feeling shit because all the strippers are amazing. Of course I hear my DP talking about how fit one particular stripper is and how she’s just his type (stripper is complete opposite to me). I go to the toilet because I’m upset, then I come back and found out he’s had a lap dance off her. Asked him what happened (as I honestly have no idea what happens in a lap dance) and says “oh she just got naked and rubbed up on me, don’t worry I only got a semi” I just thought he’d be a bit more understanding about potentially hurting my feelings when he has self esteem issues himself.
Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at this? He says if it was that big a deal I shouldn’t have gone along but I wasn’t exactly expecting this.