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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To really hate the trend for "Bye, Love You" at the end of a call?

115 replies

SherlockHolmes · 07/11/2018 13:28

It just seems to downgrade the meaning of "I love you" completely. It's almost like saying "take care" or "see you later".

OP posts:

TSSDNCOP · 07/11/2018 18:28

Well FGS Steff that isn’t the same thing at all then, is it?

MarthaArthur · 07/11/2018 18:31

I love you all. Bye

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 07/11/2018 18:38

I don't understand how saying Love you to someone you love can possibly cheapen it! How can anyone get wound up about people saying I love you? FGS! Or the posters who seem to have a principle of not saying I love you!

I'm imagining some kind of mean love grinch behind some of these posts haha!

I don't think saying bye love you is a trend, it's what my grandma and great grandma have always said on the phone to me! It's just a normal thing.

I think it's really important to tell people you love them all the time, why not? There are meaningful I love yous and casual I love yous, but using the casual I love yous doesn't hamper the meaningful I love yous. It can only do good, I'm really glad my family throw I love yous left right and centre.

Fucksgiven · 07/11/2018 18:41

I have so got on the habit I said it to my boss (who I loathe)

RagingWhoreBag · 07/11/2018 18:44

I don’t think OP was specifically referring to saying it to people you actually DO love!

It’s a thing that the young ‘uns do these days (yes probably because of bloody radio 1!) where they say it to EVERYONE!!

I was first alerted to it when teen DS borrowed my phone to text his mate a few years ago. Said mate texted back and ended “love you bye”. I was quite taken aback and asked DS if they were maybe more than friends, which he found hilarious, and then explained they all say it as a joke.

It actually stings a bit, as DS has Aspergers and has very rarely shown me any affection, but jokingly tells people he loves them!

However the most annoying use of this is when DP’s loud mouth ex phones him and says “ok baby, love you bye” as she hangs up. He’s taken to turning down the volume when she phones as he knows it pisses me off. (And yes she does know about me, we spend a bit of time all together as one big weird family on occasion and she’s very nice to me - just overly familiar with everyone including her ex!)

YANBU OP. It’s annoying

CBA2RTFT · 07/11/2018 18:48

And "love you" is very different to "I love you"

Er, how?
Is "Love your dress" any different to "I love your dress"? It's just an informal, conversational way of speaking; the "I" is in ellipsis.

Junkmail · 07/11/2018 18:49

How is this a trend?? I take every chance I get to tell my husband I love him. I also say this to my dad and my stepmother before I hang up the phone—it’s a lovely way to end the conversation with them knowing that I love them. What an odd thread??

RiverTam · 07/11/2018 19:10

No, not really. Quite a few people have made the point that it’s something you hear everywhere these days in a way you didn’t in the past. Like I said, I never heard this until I was 28 (late 90s).

And again, a few people have mentioned that they basically say it on autopilot. Nothing that’s said on autopilot is a meaningful expression of anything. If I’m going to say I love you it’ll be said with meaning and not in front of the whole office/bus/cafe.

Pissedoffdotcom · 07/11/2018 19:14

But not everybody who says it regularly says it on autopilot. People who do i feel sorry for, because clearly it has no meaning to them. But for some of us it has meaning every time we say it.

Letsmoveondude · 07/11/2018 19:18

It’s not really a trend though is it? I say it to DD and DH.
Said it to Both of them in most conversations on the phone.

puzzledlady · 07/11/2018 19:28

wtf?! this is a problem? !? For real?

CaptainCabinets · 07/11/2018 20:23

Well you sound delightful. I tell my DP, my parents, siblings, my close friends that I love them at the end of every phone call/when parting because I do love them! Fuck, I even say ‘love you’ to the cat when I leave the house

You never know what’s around the corner or whether that time will be the last. A lady at my Mum’s work received a visit from a police offer yesterday telling her her 32yo husband had been killed in a car accident on his way to work. Last thing he said was ‘love you’ when he left the house.

Why wouldn’t you say it?

hamburgers · 07/11/2018 20:51

Really OP

I say "bye, love you" to DH after speaking with him on the phone, sometimes several times throughout the day... except if we are arguing

liverbird10 · 07/11/2018 20:59

How is it a trend?! It's always gone on.

pigsDOfly · 08/11/2018 13:08

One of my DDs always shouts 'love you' to her cats when she leaves the house. It always makes me smile when I'm visiting her because it's so typically her, the loving way she is generally as a person.

I think is a shame to feel you 'hate' the idea of people telling other people they love them. We can never have too much love.

I tell my dog I love her. I doubt she understands the words but I like to think she picks up a loving vibe from me.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 08/11/2018 13:10

I only ever say it to my partner and kids. I wouldn't say its a trend though and I don't get why you're bothered about it. If you don't like it, don't say it.

OneOfTheGrundys · 08/11/2018 13:12

I like it. We all do it in our family and my best friend and I do it too. After 20 plus years of friendship I do love her like family.

Lucyccfc · 08/11/2018 13:15

DS (age 13) always say 'love you' at the end of a call, before we go to work/school and last thing at night.

1 of his friends is the same with his parents. They both have a mutual friend who never says 'love you' to his parents and they both think it's wierd.

RagingWhoreBag · 08/11/2018 23:47

This thread about it was started in 2009!! so it's been a trend for a while now.

Apparently Adam Buxton does it too.

It was started as a joke to see who would respond on 'autopilot' and now its 'a thing' to the extent that Scott Mills has a book out called "Love you, bye". I blame Radio 1. For most things.

Gingerrogered · 08/11/2018 23:53

I say it to my Mum, husband and kids, my gran who recently died.

I don't think you can tell people you love them too much if you do.

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/11/2018 00:04

Completely disagree. I always tell the people who I love that I love them at the end of a call/meeting. One day it might be the last thing they hear from me.

Popc0rn · 09/11/2018 00:09

I say "love you" at the end of phone calls to my boyfriend, who I love.

I don't with my family, as though I love them and (hopefully!) they love me, we've very rarely actually said it to each other. To the point that it would feel way too odd to start saying it in a breezy end of phone call way now. I can't remember my parents ever saying they loved me when I was little. I "knew" they did, they just never said it.

wafflyversatile · 09/11/2018 00:17

It's not made meaningless at all.

If you are hearing it more often may be it is a sign that British people are becoming less reticent about showing emotion than we used to be and that is a good thing.
What is wrong with being reminded every day that you are loved rather than only once in a blue moon?

I was not brought up to be emotionally demonstrative and I think that emotional stuntedness is to the detriment of my family even though we do love each other.

We all said love you to each other a couple of years ago. We even hugged. Except my brother. We couldn't hug him or remind him that we loved him because he'd just died out of the blue.

OkPedro · 09/11/2018 00:19

Oh please do tell us the "right" pronunciation of the letter H op
FFS

Noqont · 09/11/2018 00:22

It's hardly a trend to tell people that you love them is it. Why on earth wouldn't you tell someone you love, that you love them.

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