Or my mum

[thatawkmoment]

I’m currently in a group chat arranging my sisters birthday party with a few family members and friends, the chat has turned to more banter and my mum was having a bit of a flirt with a family friend she briefly knows, I’ve never met him but have briefly spoke about my sisters party over messenger and that’s it. I’m early 20’s, he’s early 30’s and mums in her 40’s. My mum is in a relationship too.

So basically last night a few people uploaded a pic of their dinner on the thread, I was out for food so uploaded mine. Family friend who ill name Lewis writes underneath “where was my invite😭” I replied jokingly “Lewis you can take me out for food any time 😂😂” I have no interest in this man whatsoever it was all banter between a lot of us, but anyway tonight he’s messaged me on a different site privately asking if he can take me out. I haven’t replied because I feel a bit awkward as I was joking. I told a friend who is also on the chat and she rang up my mum and told her, I’ve then received a shitty message of my mum saying I love attention and why the fuck does she want to know about it for? We’ve now by the looks fallen out over it, because I think she’s being pathetic. This is the same woman that happily messages lads I met years ago who I really liked and wouldn’t give a complete shit about it! What is her problem? Have I done anything wrong?

Your mum has previously messaged guys you used to know ? What for ? I think your mum has boundary issues.

Flirting. The guy was a sleaze and actually would ask to meet her then she would tell me, she knew full well I used to see him so all I would be thinking is why are you even messaging him. Very strange

Your mum has personality difficulties i think.

This is not typically how a mother would behave with a daughter..... how was she as a mother when you were growing up?

Your mum sounds like she needs and craves attention from young attractive men.
If that attention is directed towards a younger more beautiful woman she appears to get jealous and holds a grudge against the younger woman as though it was her fault.
I know a woman just like this and she's a fucking idiot.

Your mum is ridiculous. Flirting when she’s already in a relationship. Sending you shitty messages because she’s heard that someone asked you out. Flirting with your friends who you really liked and who were presumably far too young for her. Tbh it sounds like she’s just jealous that Lewis has asked you out because she thought he was flirting with her, and now she’s crushed because she’s found out he’s actually interested in someone who’s 20 years younger than her.

Poor Lewis must have actually thought he might have a chance with you though. How was he to know you were joking? Just reply politely and say thanks for the invite, I’d prefer to just remain friends.

@ShovingLeopard that's exactly what I think I just find it so bloody weird. She was generally okay, around the age of 12/13 she would grab my stomach and say what's this which is something I look back and think I could never do that to my daughter, and I've never been over weight either. And then it's this men issue as I've grown up

She sounds jealous of you, and insecure, and needy. She needs to put you down, to feel better about herself. Mentally healthy M others do not behave that way to their children. I wonder what her own experience of being mothered was like.

I also agree with Jellie and Sputnik.

Poor you. It must be hard to have her behave like this to you.

Sounds like your mum’s the dynamite, and your friend gets off on lighting the fuse. Be careful what you put down in messages to these people, it’s very easy for drama lovers to send screen caps round to show X what Y has said about them.

@LuvSmallDogs you are so right I think friend has twisted it as apparently I'm trying to rub mums nose in it and I shouldn't even reply to Lewis's messages!

How are you rubbing her nose in it? She isn’t available anyway so of course Lewis wasn’t going to ask her out! You can’t be in a relationship then get annoyed when a single person asks another single person out instead of you?

Because she fancies him apparently 😂. I said he's the one that's messaged me asking to take me out, apparently I asked him to take me out first. I was joking in the group message, it's funny because another friend in the group chat was saying how good looking he was so it's ok for her to come out with stuff to him

But it’s totally irrelevant that she fancies him, because she’s in a relationship? You don’t get to be in a relationship and still have dibs on someone else!

Oh OP. You do realise how very far this is from a normal Mother/Daughter relationship is MEANT to be don't you?

She isnt one of those "OMG people think we are sisters!!!" types is she by any chance? Sounds like she is jealous of you.

@AjasLipstick I know, another close friend is telling me to read up on it but I honestly don't know what I'm searching for. I know it's not normal and I wouldn't dream of looking at my daughter the same way. It's just so weird

@PyongyangKipperbang kind of yeah, the last time we went out together I was mortified by how she behaved, desperate to pull, pulling her dress up and all sorts it was really cringe! So embarrassing

@SputnikBear I agree but apparently I shouldn't even of replied to his messages about sisters party as I knew my mum liked him. What am I supposed to do? Ignore him. Oh sorry I can't message you because my mum fancies you, pathetic

Here's the thing OP. I am a Mother and there is NO WAY IN HELL that I would "have a bit of a flirt" in a group messaging thing which was about organising a birthday party and which MY CHILD was in.

Who does that? It's beyond tacky and veering into weird.

I would be questioning what the "friend" told your mum some people just like to stir.

Ridiculous. You can’t blank someone just because your mum fancies him. Why is she desperate to pull if she’s in a relationship? And who on earth pulls their dress up in public?! Your mum is obviously jealous of you and has no respect for herself or her partner.

Friend told mum what Lewis messaged me, then says but I really didn't want to tell you to rub your nose in it

Do you want to go out with him?

I know someone like this. She had the first of her kids young. And when her eldest son got to about 19 she ended up sleeping with a few of his mates. She married one, who was 15 years younger than her and 2 years older than her eldest son. She had 4 kids by this point. The youngest, to another one of her son's friends. She tried to co Vince hee oldest kids that her husband was their dad. Which 25 year old is going to view their former best mate, who is 27 as their dad.

She continued her flirting with her husband's friends and her son friends. Which eventually, contributed to her divorce.

She is now stacked up with one of her youngest (but now adult) child's friends, who is 25 years younger than her.

She has caused so many problems for her kids growing up all because she loves the attention. 3 of her kids don't speak to her. Because She doesn't give a shit about them. It's all about her. She always throws out the 'can't believe my kids don't want me to be happy' when they fall out. They do want her to be happy, but not causing all this drama.

'Can't believe my kids don't want me to be happy' I've heard that line a few times, regarding her abusive alcoholic partner. My siblings that still live at home would openly say how they dislike him and she would say how the kids do nothing for her (as in help round the house) so why should their opinions matter.

My youngest sister made a remark about hating him or something at mums partner one day and it resulted in him storming out the house and mum screaming that she's a little slag. She's 11. Disgusting

Phone Jeremy Kyle