Or my mum

[thatawkmoment]

I’m currently in a group chat arranging my sisters birthday party with a few family members and friends, the chat has turned to more banter and my mum was having a bit of a flirt with a family friend she briefly knows, I’ve never met him but have briefly spoke about my sisters party over messenger and that’s it. I’m early 20’s, he’s early 30’s and mums in her 40’s. My mum is in a relationship too.

So basically last night a few people uploaded a pic of their dinner on the thread, I was out for food so uploaded mine. Family friend who ill name Lewis writes underneath “where was my invite😭” I replied jokingly “Lewis you can take me out for food any time 😂😂” I have no interest in this man whatsoever it was all banter between a lot of us, but anyway tonight he’s messaged me on a different site privately asking if he can take me out. I haven’t replied because I feel a bit awkward as I was joking. I told a friend who is also on the chat and she rang up my mum and told her, I’ve then received a shitty message of my mum saying I love attention and why the fuck does she want to know about it for? We’ve now by the looks fallen out over it, because I think she’s being pathetic. This is the same woman that happily messages lads I met years ago who I really liked and wouldn’t give a complete shit about it! What is her problem? Have I done anything wrong?

the last time we went out together I was mortified by how she behaved, desperate to pull, pulling her dress up and all sorts it was really cringe! So embarrassing

I asked because I am in my 40's, my eldest daughter is in her 20's and I know women just like that. They try to shag their daughters male friends, they dress like their daughters (or how they would have dressed when they were their daughters age) and claim that men think that they are the same age as their daughters. Its really sad. They simply cannot accept, much less embrace, not being that age anymore. Looking back, I am far comfier in my 40's skin than I ever was in my 20's one!

Its funny really because when she was a teenager DD would moan that I was not as nice as her friends "cool" mum yet now she will say (about the same woman) "I am so glad you are nothing like X's mum".

Poor Lewis probably thought you meant what you said.

I would go out with Lewis just to piss your mum off... But I'm petty and that wouldnt be fair on Lewis. Never know though... You might like him.

Your mum sounds like she's competing with you and how she treats your 11 year old sister is frankly abusive.

Very funny post up above,,"Phone Jeremy Kyle " funny,but true.

I simply can't understand,why some people need to put all this personal information on an internet site,all the family stuff,photos of food eaten, gossiping about things that get passed on,and all the rest. It all sounds like madness.

Unfortunately your mother sees you and your sister(s) as competition. Poor little girl. She’s only 11! This doesn’t sound good at all. You may have a warped sense of how a mother should behave even if you see so much that she is doing wrong. Is your sister and any other siblings at risk? If so, please contact social services.

Yes your mum has issues. However I don’t think you behaved very kindly towards Lewis either, sending him a mesage like that when you didn’t mean it. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree maybe..

Your mum has issues. I would distance yourself from your mum and the shit stirring friend who contacted her. Go out and have a nice time with Lewis if not just as mates.

Do you want to go out with Lewis? Don't decline on your mum's account!

You need to start putting some boundaries in with your mother. She sounds like a really negative influence. The friend you've told isn't a friend either- she must also know what your mother was like and chose to tell her.

What is this guy like though? Why not go out for food. Split the bill if you feel better about it. the factory has taken the time to message you privately from the group shows that he's interested in you and has gone about it the right way. I wonder what your experiences of healthy relationships are with your role model being your mother?

Your mother's clearly jealous and you need to establish boundaries with her. But I agree with pps you weren't v kind to Lewis. It's not banter to say you'd go out with someone when you have no intention of doing so. It's just leading him on to think he's in with a chance.

Bloody hell, this is not normal behaviour from your mum. I would stop engaging in group chats she’s part of.

Re the man who asked you out, just be honest and say you really like him but aren’t romantically interested, and apologise that you gave him the wrong impression on the other chat.

@PyongyangKipperbang I can completely see where your coming from, it's honestly embarrassing. Me and a friend are like imagine if it was your mum that was behaving like this? Because her mum never would! It's so odd and cringey.

When I'm at that age I certainly won't be arguing over men with my daughter and complaining of not ever having the chance to go out drinking and on the pull because of having kids to look after. She wasn't very strict when I was younger either, I'd bunk off school and walk the streets drinking and I wish she would of been now. I just want to be that normal mum whatever that is 😂.

@ID81241 I did think the same thing but I'd only get grief, accused of being sly and an attention seeker

I've messaged Lewis and told him how friend and mum have reacted to what I said in the group chat and what he messaged me saying, I wasn't going to say anything but I thought bugger it after what they've said to me. He's probably thinking she's a right weirdo now, she would be fuming if she knew but only because she knows it's the truth . He agreed the group chat was just banter and that nothing would ever happen between me and him, I've then woke up to a message of him sending me his number and a message saying "we both know nothing would happen though because I'm not your type" 🙈

Your mother is abusive. But you know that already.