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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go to the Christmas party?

79 replies

tweettwooo · 05/11/2018 13:31

Christmas party this year is 8pm on a Friday. The problem is, I finish work at 5:30pm and live an hour's commute away from the office (party is at a venue near the office), so it's going to be a really annoying hassle for me as I'll have to bring all my party stuff to work, change after work, hang around for 2 and half hours, and carry my work clothes round at the party after a long day.

I've asked if I can work at home that day and come after work, boss said no. I'm thinking the whole thing will be more hassle than it's worth, and maybe I just shouldn't go? But others say the Christmas party is one thing you have to do to have good relations with colleagues.

AIBU to not go?

OP posts:
RTFT · 05/11/2018 18:39

I've been to one Christmas party in 16 years at my work, I don't enjoy them so I don't go

gamerwidow · 05/11/2018 18:43

Our Christmas do is always on a Friday which is not one of my working days. It’s 50/50 as to wether I can be bothered to go because it normally means extra childcare needs to be arranged and it’s a pain in the arse to travel into work when everyone else is going from the office. It makes no difference to how you are treated at work where I work. No one is penalised if they don’t want to come.

vincettenoir · 05/11/2018 18:45

If you really don’t fancy don’t feel under too much pressure. But at the same time I don’t think the 2 hour wait - or the carrying the clothes would be that bad on the day. You could bring a book / do some online Xmas shopping to pass the time

VioletCharlotte · 05/11/2018 18:59

I wouldn't go. If they want people to go, they need to make it easy for people. I hate Christmas parties though and haven't been to one for years.

MiddlingMum · 05/11/2018 19:12

What a shame, you're really enthusiastic about it, but go down with a horrific sick bug the day before Wink

starzig · 05/11/2018 19:13

I get the feeling you don't want to go but don't want to say straight out. Just don't go if you don't want.

MamaHechtick · 05/11/2018 19:22

DH's work have always been pains in the backsides about the Christmas party.
If they are a company that almost insist on it then I don't know how you'll get out of it.
I say this as DS was born by an emergency c section 2 days before DH's work Xmas party. We were still in hospital on the day of the party, he received a phone call asking if he was going to the party, he said no as he's on paternity leave and I'm still in hospital. They were really shitty about it and made things awkward when he did go back to work. Now he doesn't miss any.

ShotsFired · 05/11/2018 19:34

@divadee @EK36
"ShotsFired get the weekly food shop in"

OK hands up!!! Grin Grin
My work has a massive fridge and freezer we can use, and I tend to leave my car at work then drive home same night anyway.

So for me it made perfect sense. I forgot not everyone's work is the same Blush

(although if it's cold enough, she wouldn't need a freezer....)

Firesuit · 05/11/2018 19:35

But have to be honest here,,we put on quite an expensive Christmas meal for staff ,and I would be annoyed if you didn't come.

The multi-national I work for sent me an invitation, with an RSVP link that allowed me to decline. So nothing need be wasted by people not coming, and if there is waste, it's because you're not as well-organised as you could be.

HildaZelda · 05/11/2018 19:36

Don't bother going OP. I don't go to mine, also for distance reasons.

Fluffyears · 05/11/2018 19:37

I stopped bothering and this year i’m On holiday so don’t have to go thank god! My workmates are 95% arseholes to be honest and I can rub along ok day to day but I don’t want to spend my smprevious free time with them too. I have my husband and friends that I see less than the people I work with.

Maelstrop · 05/11/2018 19:47

I absolutely hate the fake jollity of these occasions. There are lots of members of staff in my job, I get on with several, so I’d rather go out with them, not the whole lot. I know I’ll end up cringing in a corner with nobody to talk to. It’s not on to feel obliged/show you’re a team player. I go to work to earn money, not to socialise.

Belindabauer · 05/11/2018 19:54

We pay for our own do so nobody is obliged to go.

EK36 · 05/11/2018 20:01

@ShotsFired that's a good idea if there is a large fridge/freezer available. You're lucky to have those at work. Maybe a bit of Christmas present shopping for the OP and leave in the boot when she goes out?

Upsy1981 · 05/11/2018 20:20

Where I used to work we were given the afternoon off to have our Christmas do which was nice and made sure most people came. Meal somewhere in the afternoon, then people could either drift off home and not be back much later than a normal day or go on drinking somewhere if they wanted to. Employers don't seem to go for that idea much any more but it was a nice perk.

Horsemad · 05/11/2018 20:35

I've been accused of not being a team player because I don't attend any work did.

I don't care and STILL don't attend. Wink

IAmNotLikeThem · 05/11/2018 20:39

Don't go if you don't want to go. Its not rocket science.

WipsGlitter · 05/11/2018 20:55

Ok not going to mine. I genuinely thought I couldn't go but now I've realised I can but I'm still not going. I hate them. Total forced fun.

Could you go and get a blow dry in the gap and then get changed. Leave your work stuff in the office?

maddening · 05/11/2018 20:58

Leave work clothes in a bag under your desk to take home on Monday, once you are changed go to a pub near the venue for a coffee and relax?

Lolololololol · 05/11/2018 21:21

I love my work do's, they are always paid for, we all let our hair down and then have a real laugh the following Monday discussing the gossip. My DH on the other hand, doesn't like to socialise with work, he says he has to spend more hours with them in a week then he gets with his family...
So always declines the invites without any guilt. If you think it's going to be a crap night, then I wouldn't bother with the ball ache of it all. If your gonna be gutted come Monday morning because you missed then fun, then what's a couple of cheeky pre drinks in the office and Christmas music going to hurt?

MidniteScribbler · 05/11/2018 22:08

I'm not going this year. Last year was awful with so many people getting pissed and two even threw up on the bus ride home. I don't like these people when I'm with them all day, so nothing is going to change because it's a Friday night. I'm staying home with DS instead.

TheWiseWomansFear · 05/11/2018 22:12

I booked the days off

DontCallMeCharlotte · 05/11/2018 22:14

There are only five in our company, I think they might notice if I didn't go Grin

StyleOfTheTimes · 05/11/2018 22:20

Most of our Christmas parties have been pants tbh. The foods usually mass produced and the disco isn’t great. Plus I’m one of those people who doesn’t like mixing business and pleasure. I don’t want my boss seeing me drunk and I certainly don’t want to see them drunk dancing lol. Makes for an awkward time if you need to ask them for something serious. Each to their own though.

2isabella2 · 05/11/2018 23:29

YANBU to say no. I live a long way from my office but they pay for a hotel room for everyone who lives more than a short taxi ride home (and put on taxis from hotel to venue). I wouldn't go if not.

Work make it as easy as they can for us to go but there's no pressure, it's supposed to be fun!