6 seats, 7 people. Who gets the floor?

[overagain]

Situation cropped up yesterday: 6 seats, 7 people. The 6 seats are 5 on sofas and 1 arm chair.

The 7 people (family members so know each other well and know each others health issues so no 'hidden' issues) are: an elderly person with mobility difficulties. A middle aged person with mobility problems. A middle aged person who is healthy and well. 3 healthy and well 30 something's and a 7 month pregnant woman with sciatica and PGP.

Who should sit on the floor? And who do you think sat on the floor?

In my family all the healthy 30 somethings would be me & my cousins so we'd all sit on the floor to allow the others room to sit comfortably on the available seats without being squished up.

and did you tell Uncle Bob that was bullshit? If you don't see him much why not, you've got nothing to lose.

And yes, pregnant relative needs to not be a doormat.

I am suffering terribly from sciatica at the moment and it’s more comfortable to sit on the floor than on a chair or sofa as you’re not sinking down into it.

She was also the one traipsing in and out being asked to make brews.

Why on earth didn't she say no?!?

Why do people continue to engage with family who treat them like this?

I've just seen she was the one making teas. FFS, what a bunch of cunts.

Any of the 4 healthy people. Usually the last in the room but really any of these should offer to sit on the floor if one of the other 3 needed a seat. Middle age doesn’t mean you can’t sit on the floor unless there are other issues.

Was one of the healthy 30 year olds her partner?

Presumably the pregnant woman knew whether it was or wasn't good for her back and could have spoken up?

Actually, middle age can affect your floor sitting abilities,regardless of health issues.

I'm 47 and now find sitting on the floor for any length of time makes me really stiff. Wasn't an issue in my 30s.

But I would still offer my seat to someone who was pregnant.

‘Oh Uncle Bob, I didn’t know you were a obstetrician or a physiotherapist? Advice for PGP is to avoid sitting on the floor! I am disgusted that you would treat a pregnant relative this way! If it’s good for your back to sit on the floor, off you go, I am sure it will be much easier for you to get off the floor given you don’t need crutches! As for you three rude gits, you are an absolute disgrace for not even offering your seat to X’

If I was the pregnant woman, I would have left and let them know exactly why! But then I had severe PGP/ SPD through both pregnancies and it would have been agonising getting down to the floor then back up again. Not to mention the pain of sitting on the hard floor! I would not be visiting those family members again!

Regardless of abilities / pregnancy status, it wohkd have been me.

It's always me that sits on the bloody floor

More fool her though really... I'd have poked one of the sitters with my crutch and told them to move and let me sit down... and I most certainly would not have been making people tea!

My guess is Uncle Bobs her FIL wanker, her DH is also a wanker for not offering her a seat.

Did you or she tell Uncle Bob that was BS? Or any of the other healthy people?

Has anyone ever decided that Uncle Bob is not worth visiting because he is such an arse?

I think all 4 healthy people have a lot to answer for, sitting about and letting her make the teas and not standing up to horrible Uncle Bob. But I suspect you have an entrenched family dynamic and it was suddenly much more obvious when you entered the room as a relative outsider and saw everyone else sitting down comfortably.

I prefer the floor to being squashed up on the sofa, even when very pregnant with twins and PGP etc (did need some serious help getting up again though!)

I have a separated sacroiliac joint and ligament damage, I am also using crutches when the carpal tunnel isn't too painful (thanks baby), no way would I have sat on the floor, it's a struggle to get out of the bath, or been back and forth making teas! None of my family would want that, but where was her partner? Sitting on the sofa? This is outrageous

Yes, was one of the healthy 30 year olds sitting on the sofa her partner?

I’m going to blame the healthy thirty year olds who would let someone with crutches and pregnant sit on the floor and make their teas.

She needs to get more assertive too, particularly with this lot as family.

I’m hoping her partner wasn’t one of the thirty year olds?

You have some strange family members OP. My family has plenty of faults but I cannot imagine a situation visiting any of my family where that would happen. Poor woman should have spoken up for herself though.

Any of the people with no health issues: I wouldn't esp expect a 30 something to sit more than a middle aged person, personally.

I'm of the same opinion. I can't for the life of me figure out why so many people seem to think a healthy middle aged person is any less able to sit on the floor than a healthy person in their thirties.

So the moral of the story is that the pregnant one needs to find her voice and say "no, i'm 7 months pregnant and in pain, i need to sit on the sofa".

If you were so bothered and this pregnant woman apparently unable to talk for herself, why didn't you say to one of the others to give her a seat?

What a weird post.

Either the healthy middle aged or the 30 something. Who ever got there last I guess.

Er well you have a pig ignorant family. It all sounds very weird. Heavily pregnant Woman heaving herself in and out of the room on crutches with tea?

I often avoid sitting on chairs because of back issues. Did it yesterday during a hospital visit. I alternate between standing up, doing things like getting tea, and sitting on a window ledge. Was offered a chair a lot and there was one spare. I didn’t want it. If I did, I would speak up especially with family.

OH has sciatica and sits on the floor a lot. Getting up and doing stuff is another thing that helps.

Not sure why this had to read as a mystery thread. The answer was obvious.