According to my 14 year old ....

[Dontgiveamonkeys1350]

I’m being completely unresonable by not letting him have his phone after a certain time in the evening.

Apparently every other teenager is allowed their phones when they are in bed.

Im a terrible mother.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who makes their child come off the computer at a reasonable time and plug phones in outside of their bedrooms. Then I can feel less terrible

Thanks.... what parental control app is everyone using. I didn’t know this was a thing!!!!

No phones upstairs in this house - we as parents don't take ors upstairs either. All phones plugged in in the living room. Alarm clocks which are not phones haven't been made illegal...

We have Kaspersky safe kids.

Phone/iPad switched off an hour before bed for DD 12.

DS 19 had the same rules until after his exams, now he stays on his phone until bed, but still (his own choice) leaves it downstairs when he goes up.

Ds1 is now 15 and no phone in room. At 14 he was just listening to music but much later than he should have been.

There were also lots of messages on a group snapchat that he was not joining in with but obviously they were popping up and he could see them. I hate the whole FOMO (fear of missing out) aspect of teen years.

I think when you realise that messages can go on till 3am on a school night and that on snapchat you can choose for the messages to be saved or just disappear you know you cannot necessarily keep track of what is happening and what time it is happening.

Ds1 happily hands his phone over, he has no tech in his room as it is all in a playroom downstairs and non-movable. Ds2 is currently 12 and has absolutely no interest in his phone.

We are hideous parents
No phone after 9
No call of duty
No 18 games at all actually
We are the only ones that set a bed time 10 on school nights 10.30 weekends
We are the only ones who won’t let him homework whilst gaming
Etc
We should all wear a worst parent badge to remind ourselves we are not alone 😂

Our dc (13 and 11) have to ask to use their phones at all at home. They live in the kitchen and they're not supposed to take them to their rooms without express permission (they do now and again, obviously, but that always results in swift removal). Certainly no access to them at night. Younger ds' sneaking into the kitchen in the mornings before anyone was up to be on his phone was a contributory factor to a very lengthy recent ban. They're also not allowed social media - have seen/heard too much about what goes on on there. They'll get that when they've demonstrated ability to moderate themselves, behave sensibly even in the heat of the moment and make good decisions.

Harsh - yes, perhaps, and of course doesn't cover all bases, but the deal is very simple - they play by our rules and have phones, or they play by their own rules and lose them.

We use Kaspersky too, but parental controls aren't infallible - I prefer to keep a physical eye on things myself.

My ds has parental controls set for a 22:00hrs cut off.

No you are being a responsible parent! As a teacher I'm tired of attempting to educate zombies who have been up all nite on Social Media or computer games!

I agree - I think generally everyone, adults and kids, are better off sleeping in a room which doesn't contain a smartphone. There are some people who have to due to being on call for elderly parents or similar, but for most people a smartphone in the bedroom is unnecessary and detracts from quality sleep anyway, regardless of age.

I remember asking this a few years ago to be told I was controlling and not allowing my daughter to self regulate 😳
The thing is, there will always be a few who are sensible Andy put their phone down to sleep, but most aren't and would be on it half the night.
My Dd included. She is now nearly 17 and has it but I think nothing of switching off the wifi if she is still yapping away at midnight and has college the next day, she really has no self regulation.

Ledkr it depends so much who answers - I was thinking posting time might be the reason (late night MN ers more likely to defend having a smartphone all night ) but this was posted last night, so it's probably just random chance. There are some MN ers who are absolutely convinced that you have to let children have unrestricted 24/7 smartphone access otherwise they won't cope after leaving home because they won't be used to self regulating. Probably from the same school of thought that chucks kids in the deep end of the pool to "teach" them to swim, and forces them to chain smoke a pack of cigarettes to deter them from becoming smokers...

Mine's 13 and his gets handed over when he gets into bed. He is always shouting about what an awful mother I am and ALL of his friends are allowed them overnight.
Yeah whatever, jog on buddy, phone goes into my room at night, no further discussion required

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QXWNChoIluo

Worth a watch - discusses phone addiction... 😬

No need to get a separate alarm clock. You’re an adult. You can keep your ohone wherever you choose.

Whose that to Strawberrisk ? The blue light from a phone isn't good for anyone at night, no matter how old they are.

So yes we are one of those parents who allow this. However my children have never given me concern that they can not handle this privilege.

Snap-mine don’t have them taken away (youngest one isn’t used after 9pm) but 15 and 17 year olds do. No friendship, sleep, academic or health concerns though. Maybe if there were, I would reconsider.

Mine don't have a phone yet, too young (11 and 7), the youngest may get one in a couple of years, but there will be no phones at night, ever!

In this house, there is no tech at all allowed in the bedroom. I must be really mean!

But seriously, blue screens in the evening is a huge cause of sleep issues for people of adult age as well as teens or younger kids. If people absolutely have to have a screen in the run-up to bedtime my advice is to use Apps that make the screen an amber tone as that can help. The laptops, tablets and phones here all have apps on a timer so after 9 pm they turn an amber colour.

It only takes looking at a screen when it's darker using the amber tones and then disabling it and how your eyes react to the blue light to see why! I'd advise anyone to get them, they are free (and easily Google-able). I use F.Lux for laptop and Twilight for an Android.

Ds is 11, off technology at 7pm, phone left downstairs switched off at night and left downstairs. Ds2 is younger, doesn’t have a phone yet (much to his disgust).
No game boy etc, only iPads for games.
I’m a terrible parent for not allowing fortnite apparently.

Re parental controls we use Screen time. It's great you can set times, different for weekdays and weekends, add or take away time, block or allow certain apps etc a from your phone.

Mine comes off his phone and iPad at 9pm. Don't remove them from his room. He doesn't use them as knows it's not allowed.

Yanbu

I don't have any restrictions but know it doesn't keep him awake at night due to the noise coming from his room snoreslikeatrain

If that wasn't the case then I would take it away when he goes to bed