To think easy going people get neglected a bit?

[dollydimple999]

My mum alway brought me up to not be demanding or make any fuss. She said everyone's life is hard enough without you or anyone demanding special attention. I could and still can see her point and as have always been pretty laid back. However it occurs to me now that because I don't make any fuss or ask for anything I tend to end up very low on peoples priority list or forgotton about and all those awful people who do demand attention and to be made a fuss of, who are touchy and need special treatment actually tend to get those things?

Even my mum will say "i know you won't be offended or upset dolly if I don't get you a gift but your sister will be hurt so I have to buy for her" etc.

I'm not likely to change now but I do notice that when you make it too easy for people to not bother for you they tend not to and kind of forget you a bit?

Unfortunately demanding people do get prioritised but people do resent them for it.

Have look at this thread about being 'nice'!

Mumsnet FWR Guide to De-Programming Yourself From Self-Harming Kindnesswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3412053-Mumsnet-FWR-Guide-to-De-Programming-Yourself-From-Self-Harming-Kindness

Always remember, empty vessels make the most noise.

I feel the same as all of you but then I think to myself, "would I really want to be like these people". It's not in my nature to draw attention to myself but sometimes I do feel resentful. I'm 57 now and probably not going to change. I do tell my DD not to let people walk all over her and stand up for herself.

I have a brother how is Prince Of Panic and sister who is Diva. Me and other sister sit in the middle feeling exhausted by the pair of them.
When I fell pregnant 11 years ago despite gynae issues , my mind first comment was "what will sister say? She Is going to be upset" as she too was trying. For less than 3 months to be fair.
She then creates holy hell until she is pregnant 2 months later. Then it was sunshine and rainbows but my pregnancy was kept out of view up until that point.
I have gone NC with her and brother.
Can't be arsed

That should read "my mum's first comment..." as I look back she didn't actually congratulate us. So used to tepid reactions I don't even notice

Definitely. I'm easy going and introverted, a real people pleaser. People endlessly talk at me, never show any interest in my life, forget my birthday and generally take but never give. I seethe underneath but always bite my tongue. I'm much more able to speak freely online, air my real views etc and it's so liberating.

Absolutely agree op. And further than that, i know a few people who seem to get away with some pretty shit behaviour and bad manners on a regular basis but seem to get forgiven for it every time, whereas if I acted like that I'd never hear the end of it.
I can't figure out why that is!

It also affects you at work. I can't remember the number of times that someone said 'there were only a limited number of spaces/rewards available, but I knew you wouldn't mind.

After I while, I made sure that I was slightly difficult at reviews etc so they wouldn't forget to give me promotion or pay rises because 'I wouldn't make a fuss'.