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To not let my 8yo have a phone?

28 replies

wingingatlife · 04/11/2018 12:31

Dd1 is in year 4 and is desperate for a phone but I've firmly said no and she's making out she's the "only one" without one. I know some of her friends do have one but they have divorced parents and so have their phone to stay in touch with the other parent when away iykwim and I understand the logic behind that but i can't fathom the need otherwise for an 8 year old to have their own phone (or tv in her room but hey, different topic). I've said she can have one when she goes into year 7. She has no social media account or access at all.

At what age do you think is alright for a child to get their first phone?

OP posts:
Jamieson90 · 04/11/2018 12:37

I'd say year 6 if they're walking home by their self, then year 7 anyway.

An 8 year old doesn't need a phone.

LettuceP · 04/11/2018 12:37

I agree with you, secondary school age for a phone and monitored social media.

Crazycakelady17 · 04/11/2018 12:41

My 9 year old has my old phone but uses it like a iPod (no sim) uses it for YouTube and mine craft it’s handy maybe a iPod for Christmas?

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/11/2018 13:24

It's got nothing to do with the device, it all depends on the reason, if it's so she can organise meeting up in nightclubs with her friends, then it's quite different to watching cbeebies videos in the car.

A phone is a tool, the appropriateness of the tool, depends on the job that needs doing.

So why does she want one, what does she want to do with it? Certainly a child who is out on her own, which 8 seems an entirely appropriate age, might have a desire to be contactable for example.

Thisreallyisafarce · 04/11/2018 13:30

It doesn't matter what her friends have. If you think it is inappropriate and unnecessary, the answer has to be no.

Girlicorne · 04/11/2018 14:03

My daughter had one for xmas last year, she had just turned 10. She is in year 6 now but I d say only half her friends have them, although they all have a device for contacting each other, ipod/ipad etc. but it's totally up to you if you are happy for her to have one get her one, if not stand by your decision. I would be surprised if all her friends have them at 8 though!!

RoseRuby26 · 04/11/2018 14:03

Secondary school imo. Causes problems in primary school. Not emotionally mature enough to deal with them.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 04/11/2018 14:05

My 8yo has been agitating for one since last year. She says that everyone else in her class has one. However, she in unable to articulate why she needs one, hence she is not getting one.

formerbabe · 04/11/2018 14:05

8 is too young imo.

My ds is ten and in year 6...nearly every child in his class has a phone. A few did in year 5 but not many. In year 4, it was unheard of.

DramaAlpaca · 04/11/2018 14:06

When they start secondary school.

AvoidingDM · 04/11/2018 14:08

I'd say secondary school for a phone - to call and text.
But these days phones aren't just phones, if she's wanting it for games, you tube etc I'd consider a small tablet with suitable controls.

Governoress86 · 04/11/2018 14:19

My DD is 8 she has a phone as do some of her friends in her class. It's only my old phone so not an expensive top of the range phone.
She does not have any social media accounts, only YouTube to watch her channels and plays games on it.
She calls and texts her uncle and cousins who live miles and miles away and other family members along with her friends.
She does not take it to school and she is not constantly on it either.
I think it depends on maturity and what they want it for.

MissCalamity · 04/11/2018 14:22

I've said DS can have a mobile for his 11th birthday and not before that!

nellieellie · 04/11/2018 14:57

My DD is 11, just started secondary school. She has to take a bus there and back so she got a phone in September when she started. Any earlier I don’t think there’s a need. They can be quite addictive.

Santaisgettingbusy · 04/11/2018 15:01

Dd's secondary school.
Ds's df (Disney father) gave them phones at 8, never bothered with them at my house tbh.

iveburntthetoast · 04/11/2018 15:03

DD1 is 11 and got her first phone (an old phone from me) a few months ago. She's actually not too fussed about it, but she's started going out on her own to the riding stables so she needed a phone to contact us. She said almost all children in her class had phones.

BusyMum47 · 04/11/2018 15:55

Last year of Primary or when starting Secondary. No kid needs one before then. Strictly monitor social media access too. I'm a Primary School TA & the amount of hassle that all causes is unbelievable!!

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 04/11/2018 16:11

My daughter will be 8 just after Xmas and she's getting a phone. Her brothers got one at 9 when they started walking home from school alone. She loves calling her cousins and sending us emails when we're at work. She won't be allowed on any social media

converseandjeans · 05/11/2018 00:16

An ipod touch could work? They can send imessages, emails, Facetime, watch youtube, play games, take photos etc

ZenNudist · 05/11/2018 00:21

Ds1 got one at 7 but it was just my old iphone 5s, we probably could have sold it but not for much. He loves it. There is a sim but no credit. He uses WhatsApp to send pics to and talkto grandparents, plays games, no social media otherwise. He generally isnt allowed to keep it himself. We keep it and let him have it as part of screen time.

TeddybearBaby · 05/11/2018 09:19

My 9 year old has one. I wouldn’t have bought her one though. I happened to have an old phone and a pay as you go sim so it was no skin off my nose to let her use it. She doesn’t have data or anything like that but she can play games and message her friends. I’m not sure how many kids her age have a phone. Quite a lot I think but certainly not all!

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 05/11/2018 09:21

It's probably just for games which to be honest, a tablet would be better.


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missperegrinespeculiar · 05/11/2018 09:43

8? absolutely not! mine are 11 and 7 and it's not even something we have discussed, none of their friends have phones, not even the 11 year old's, so that makes it easier! won't consider it till secondary school, and even then, only if needed (i.e., if going out on their own etc.)

Notcontent · 05/11/2018 09:51

No, no, no!!

And no, don’t get her an iPod touch for messaging friends from home. That defeats the whole point of not getting her a phone...

stuckinarut · 05/11/2018 10:00

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