To not let my 8yo have a phone?

[wingingatlife]

Dd1 is in year 4 and is desperate for a phone but I've firmly said no and she's making out she's the "only one" without one. I know some of her friends do have one but they have divorced parents and so have their phone to stay in touch with the other parent when away iykwim and I understand the logic behind that but i can't fathom the need otherwise for an 8 year old to have their own phone (or tv in her room but hey, different topic). I've said she can have one when she goes into year 7. She has no social media account or access at all.

At what age do you think is alright for a child to get their first phone?

[Gramgram]

Just to hopefully make someone smile. DGD aged 9 was asking her parents for mobile and not getting the answer she wanted. She asked me when I first got a mobile and she was rather bemused when I told her I was over forty when I got my first one!

[Loyaultemelie]

My 8 year old also wants one and we are the only parents not getting her one (absolute bollocks) There's no way on earth! She lost her iPad (I know exactly where it is but she's not getting it back) and when she did know where it was her behaviour was awful and she got so absorbed in it she forgot everything else and argued something shocking when screen time was over. Now in fairness this may not be typical as we are 90% of the way through an ASD diagnosis with possible ADD and PDA thrown in, however listening to some of the other mums in her class it does seem to be a frequent problem even with no additional needs

[RedSkyLastNight]

Brick type phone whenever they start playing out/walking to school.
Get them used to making sure credit is topped up and the phone is charged up and being available to be contacted.

Then they can have a smartphone for starting secondary school.
If she just wants to play games, get a cheap tablet.

[Notcontent]

No, no, no!!

And no, don’t get her an iPod touch for messaging friends from home. That defeats the whole point of not getting her a phone...

[missperegrinespeculiar]

8? absolutely not! mine are 11 and 7 and it's not even something we have discussed, none of their friends have phones, not even the 11 year old's, so that makes it easier! won't consider it till secondary school, and even then, only if needed (i.e., if going out on their own etc.)

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

It's probably just for games which to be honest, a tablet would be better.

[TeddybearBaby]

My 9 year old has one. I wouldn’t have bought her one though. I happened to have an old phone and a pay as you go sim so it was no skin off my nose to let her use it. She doesn’t have data or anything like that but she can play games and message her friends. I’m not sure how many kids her age have a phone. Quite a lot I think but certainly not all!

[ZenNudist]

Ds1 got one at 7 but it was just my old iphone 5s, we probably could have sold it but not for much. He loves it. There is a sim but no credit. He uses WhatsApp to send pics to and talkto grandparents, plays games, no social media otherwise. He generally isnt allowed to keep it himself. We keep it and let him have it as part of screen time.

[converseandjeans]

An ipod touch could work? They can send imessages, emails, Facetime, watch youtube, play games, take photos etc

[JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth]

My daughter will be 8 just after Xmas and she's getting a phone. Her brothers got one at 9 when they started walking home from school alone. She loves calling her cousins and sending us emails when we're at work. She won't be allowed on any social media

[BusyMum47]

Last year of Primary or when starting Secondary. No kid needs one before then. Strictly monitor social media access too. I'm a Primary School TA & the amount of hassle that all causes is unbelievable!!

[iveburntthetoast]

DD1 is 11 and got her first phone (an old phone from me) a few months ago. She's actually not too fussed about it, but she's started going out on her own to the riding stables so she needed a phone to contact us. She said almost all children in her class had phones.

[Santaisgettingbusy]

Dd's secondary school.
Ds's df (Disney father) gave them phones at 8, never bothered with them at my house tbh.

[nellieellie]

My DD is 11, just started secondary school. She has to take a bus there and back so she got a phone in September when she started. Any earlier I don’t think there’s a need. They can be quite addictive.

[MissCalamity]

I've said DS can have a mobile for his 11th birthday and not before that!

[Governoress86]

My DD is 8 she has a phone as do some of her friends in her class. It's only my old phone so not an expensive top of the range phone.
She does not have any social media accounts, only YouTube to watch her channels and plays games on it.
She calls and texts her uncle and cousins who live miles and miles away and other family members along with her friends.
She does not take it to school and she is not constantly on it either.
I think it depends on maturity and what they want it for.

[AvoidingDM]

I'd say secondary school for a phone - to call and text.
But these days phones aren't just phones, if she's wanting it for games, you tube etc I'd consider a small tablet with suitable controls.

[DramaAlpaca]

When they start secondary school.

[formerbabe]

8 is too young imo.

My ds is ten and in year 6...nearly every child in his class has a phone. A few did in year 5 but not many. In year 4, it was unheard of.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

My 8yo has been agitating for one since last year. She says that everyone else in her class has one. However, she in unable to articulate why she needs one, hence she is not getting one.

[RoseRuby26]

Secondary school imo. Causes problems in primary school. Not emotionally mature enough to deal with them.

[Girlicorne]

My daughter had one for xmas last year, she had just turned 10. She is in year 6 now but I d say only half her friends have them, although they all have a device for contacting each other, ipod/ipad etc. but it's totally up to you if you are happy for her to have one get her one, if not stand by your decision. I would be surprised if all her friends have them at 8 though!!

[Thisreallyisafarce]

It doesn't matter what her friends have. If you think it is inappropriate and unnecessary, the answer has to be no.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

It's got nothing to do with the device, it all depends on the reason, if it's so she can organise meeting up in nightclubs with her friends, then it's quite different to watching cbeebies videos in the car.

A phone is a tool, the appropriateness of the tool, depends on the job that needs doing.

So why does she want one, what does she want to do with it? Certainly a child who is out on her own, which 8 seems an entirely appropriate age, might have a desire to be contactable for example.