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AIBU?

If your 17 year old asked to do music lessons, would you pay or them?

43 replies

KDAAhri · 04/11/2018 06:36

DD wants to start the piano, she is 17 and has a part time job.

Does she pay or I?

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Vitalogy · 04/11/2018 06:39

If I could afford to I'd pay.

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KatKit16 · 04/11/2018 06:41

I would or as a compromise you could offer to split??

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MrsZippyLake · 04/11/2018 06:42

If you can easily afford it, I would pay.

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AriadnePersephoneCloud · 04/11/2018 06:42

I would pay if she really wants to learn and practises Grin

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ChangoMutney · 04/11/2018 06:42

I would.

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NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 04/11/2018 06:42

I'd offer to pay for driving lessons instead - much more useful skill at that age . I'd then see how serious she was about the piano by getting her to pay for that herself and if she was serious about it and still doing it after she'd passed her driving test then I'd pay

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Huuu · 04/11/2018 06:44

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Taffeta · 04/11/2018 06:53

I’d pay if she practised regularly without being asked

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seekingclarity · 04/11/2018 06:56

Difficult one. On one hand they are still a child and we pay for children's activities, but on the other hand they are nearly an adult and have a job. I think I would pay if I wasn't paying for any other activities.

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Haahhpy · 04/11/2018 07:26

You should pay!

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VenusClapTrap · 04/11/2018 07:28

I’d pay. Piano lessons are expensive - I doubt a seventeen year old working part time could afford them.

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speakout · 04/11/2018 07:32

Depends.

Does she plan a music career? Or is this a fun time activity?

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Malbecfan · 04/11/2018 07:36

If you can afford it, then I think you should pay. I still pay for my 17yo's violin & singing lessons. She has a p/t job but I would rather she saved that or spent it on things she wanted, like clothes and gifts. I've been paying for the violin lessons since she was 4.

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CherryPavlova · 04/11/2018 07:37

We paid for all educational extras.

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ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/11/2018 07:38

I’d pay.

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BIWI · 04/11/2018 07:39

Of course you should pay!

If she was working full time/no longer at school or college, then perhaps she should be paying.

However, I would be making it clear that she has to do her practice, and that you won't continue to pay if she doesn't

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zippey · 04/11/2018 07:39

Why is this difficult? If it’s something you can afford then you should pay. It’s not like she is asking you to find her cigarette or cannibas habit. It’s a positive thing surely?

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KDAAhri · 04/11/2018 08:10

She has never done music before and would just be a hobby.

Her grandmother is already funding her driving.

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CBA2RTFT · 04/11/2018 08:21

I paid for all my older DCs' clubs and hobbies until they went to uni. Then after that still gave some money for their clubs if they had expensive kit to buy.

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speakout · 04/11/2018 08:21

I wouldn't necessarily pay.
If this is not part of her vocation then she can fund her own lessons in a few years time.
Just because it seems "educational" doesn't mean you have to do it.
My DD would have loved piano lessons at 17, but I wouldn't have funded them.
For several reasons- firstly she has danced since she was 4, at 17 was paying £200 a month for lessons and shoes.

She had very little free time anyway, had important exams at school, has a Saturday job and a busy weekly schedule.
Piano lessons however lovely and despite the cost would be another distraction that she simply did not have time for.

So I would have said no piano to my daughter at 17.

She can fund her own lessons when she has finished her degree.

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Lethaldrizzle · 04/11/2018 08:24

I would think it was great that she wanted to do it so would definitely pay

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VintageFur · 04/11/2018 08:24

In a heartbeat!

She can spend her wages on Primark and cheap cider!

If my children request something which requires development of talent of knowledge there's no way I could refuse if it was financially doable.

When my sister was that age my mum subsidised her nights out (coke). 🙄

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speakout · 04/11/2018 08:31

*If my children request something which requires development of talent of knowledge there's no way I could refuse if it was financially doable.
*

But at any cost-not just financial.

Is there no limit?

In my DDs case she was studying hard for exams at school for University entrance. ( not dance related)

She had 12 hours of extra curricular ballet.
She worked 8 hours on a Saturday- teaching dance.
She was having a weekly driving lesson.

At that time she was struggling to keep up with her studies, late for assignments, constantly tired, not enough hours in the week. She was coming down a lot with colds and tonsilitis because she was struggling to keep up with activities and demands.
No amount of persuasion could make her cut back on dance.

You would really throw piano lessons into the mix?

How would that be helpful?

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adaline · 04/11/2018 08:31

I would pay if I could afford it, on the basis that she went to every lesson and practised regularly in between.

Could you tell her she has to pay upfront, and if she goes each week and practises, you'll pay her back? I'm assuming you're worried that you'll spend the money and she won't keep up the practise needed to learn properly?

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TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/11/2018 08:38

If if was realistic time wise for her to do the lessons and practice I would pay.

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