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If your 17 year old asked to do music lessons, would you pay or them?

43 replies

KDAAhri · 04/11/2018 06:36

DD wants to start the piano, she is 17 and has a part time job.

Does she pay or I?

OP posts:

MrsStrowman · 04/11/2018 08:41

I'd pay, especially given she's not had music lessons before, it's not like you spent years paying for clarinet lessons and now she wants to play piano, you're also not having to pay for her driving lessons, she's working part time whilst studying so she's clearly not lazy. I don't think it's a lot for her to ask.


BitOutOfPractice · 04/11/2018 08:43

Yes I would pay if I could afford it.


MrsStrowman · 04/11/2018 08:45

I think for me there would be an element of paying it forward too, my parents paid for my rowing kit at uni (I paid the subs but it was only about £60 a year) , I was working hard at my studies, had a job and they wanted to support me doing something I'd not done before. It would seem churlish of me not to afford my own children the same opportunities.


GoldenMcOldie · 04/11/2018 08:50

I am paying for my 17 year old to move to the other side of the world to study music.

Only mentioning this to show that I am not being negative in saying that the piano is very hard to get really really good at if you didnt learn as a child.

The guitar is a much easier option.

A big factor to really being able to pick up a new instrument is being able to read music and having aural skills.


Notso · 04/11/2018 08:51

Lots of depending factors.
Can you afford it?
How much does she earn?
What else does she have to use earnings for?
Do you have other DC?

I think if you're not sure she'll keep up with it I'd offer to pay for a course of lessons for Christmas or Birthday.


didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 04/11/2018 08:55

She should pay. She's bloody 17 and working fgs. I don't understand all these young adults who still have their parents paying for them. I'd have been mortified at 17 to have my mum paying for things like driving lessons or piano. Once they start work they pay for extras themselves. The only things my mum paid for me at 17 were basics like food, soap, deodorant etc. If I wanted to do something like learn to drive or an instrument I paid for it myself. It teaches them the value of things. A lot of my friends had their parents paying for them and the phrase "don't matter, my mum'll pay for it" was a frequently heard one whenever they dropped their phone or something.


AvoidingDM · 04/11/2018 09:03

I'd pay half or buy a block of lessons as a Christmas / Birthday gift.

But depending on where you live (esp if outwith a city) driving lessons are probably a better investment.


Namechanger1404 · 04/11/2018 09:10

I agree with a PP that you shouldn’t necessarily pay. I’m sure most people who’ve said ‘you should pay’ are financially solvent!

If my 17 yo had asked me I’d have said no, as it’s a hobby they’ve chosen themselves.

If you have the funds and will not bring financial hardship then pay, if not, don’t. It’s a no brainer reallyConfused


speakout · 04/11/2018 09:13

If you have the funds and will not bring financial hardship then pay, if not, don’t. It’s a no brainer really

Not necessarily.

My 17 year old asked for piano lessons. I could afford it.

I said no..


Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 04/11/2018 09:14

If she is only just starting at 17 I'd let her pay for them herself as she is working (and her Gran is paying for her driving lessons).


YouTheCat · 04/11/2018 09:18

How likely is she to stick at it? Does she have a track record of taking something on and then getting bored after a few months?


RoseMartha · 04/11/2018 09:21

If i could afford it i would pay half and ask her to pay the other


Runnynosehunny · 04/11/2018 09:24

I'd pay if I could afford to, however recently my 13yo dd wanted guitar lessons but we knew it would be a struggle to find the money and she might have to do without some treats. At the time it seemed like she might not really stick with it so we left it up to her. She decided to have a go a teaching herself using online resources and has done amazing. I think the challenge spurred her on! Plus there are some really good online lessons. She has now opted for GCSE music and is doing well, her music teacher thinks she is about a grade 3-4 and she has taken up singing as well having heard a lot of singing while she was doing the guitar lesson (the teachers often sing). So I think this is a good option if money is short.


Enidblyton1 · 04/11/2018 09:37

Does your 17 year old DD have access to a piano at home to practise? If not, I honestly think it’s pointless having lessons and perhaps she should consider another instrument.
If there IS already a piano at home, has she ever shown any interest in it? I had piano lessons for about 6 months when I was eight, but then switched to a woodwind instrument. We had a piano at home and I would often sit down and teach myself. Like Runnynosehunny’s DD, I got to about grade 3/4 level just by buying a few books and practising (though I did have a musical background).

So, to eventually respond to your question, I would consider paying for a 17 year old, but only if she has access to a piano and has shown interest in teaching herself. Otherwise, you may find this is just a fad and she gives up when she realises it takes a lot of hard work to reach a competent level on the piano.


VenusClapTrap · 04/11/2018 09:53

the piano is very hard to get really really good at if you didnt learn as a child.

Does that matter though? I started learning to play piano in my forties. I’ll never be a concert pianist, but so what? I get a great deal of enjoyment from it. Hobbies are still worthwhile if they don’t lead to careers/greatness.


beanaseireann · 04/11/2018 10:07

Yes. If I could afford it.


YouTheCat · 04/11/2018 10:11

If you have a piano, buy her a teach yourself book. That's how I learned when I was 12. I may not be technically brilliant but I can bash out a bit of Chopin and jazz.


SommyAE · 10/04/2019 18:24

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