To want to complain

[sicktodeathh]

Ok so I'm on benefits and have been for a while since my daughters dad left me and I became a lone parent. We are very civil and I've never once stopped him from seeing his daughter.

He moved back to his family home and it wasn't really suitable for DD to be visiting there so I allow him to come to my house everyday. He has recently lost his job so is here more often. He never, ever stays over. He comes for a couple of hours on a morning and again in the afternoon. Whatever he does in between is his business and this works very well for us. He's saw other people and no one has had an issue. We are just parents, no other feelings for each other involved.

I then receive a letter from DWP saying I need a compliance meeting. All is fine as I have nothing to hide. Turns out someone has accused me of benefit fraud because I have DD dad coming daily to see her.

Interview is done, Woman is very harsh and quite rude but I understand they have to be incase I'm lying. I write a statement, sign it and interview is done. She then however, started being really inappropriate. Asking questions that had absolutely nothing to do with her claiming "it was off the record". Asking if I had feelings for him, if I sleep with him because I must get lonely as a single parent. Asking where his mum is because i only mentioned his dad. (Him mum died years ago). Asking if I was on contraception. Telling me that I could be prosecuted on little evidence as I will be watched by covert officers and they will look into absolutely everything (fine because like I say I have nothing to hide). Asked why I allow him to come to my house because when she's had relationships it's ended there and then and is it appropriate to have him coming everyday.

She just seemed really really rude. Am I just being over sensitive or did she cross the line once the interview had finished. I'm not worried in the slightest, he hasn't lived with me for years. It just didn't work as a relationship. But I just felt like the questions she asked after the interview was non of her business.

That does sound really odd. If it's exactly as you've explained here, yes, I'd complain. Do you know who to complain to?

It really is, I had someone with me for support as didn't really know what to expect and I get very anxious in new situations and even they said it was very very odd. She was horrid.
No don't have a clue! Hoping someone could help.

I believe every word of this after having a similar experience! I had a phone call from a woman at the job centre who demanded to have my unborn childs fathers details, I refused as he was abusive to me and i was scared of him (knew the JC calling him would make him go mad) and she asked me how could I keep a baby of someone that was violent to me. She then closed me claim for no reason. I would 100% complain.

Yes, I would complain about the scenario you have described above.

I have no words of advice just wanted to say how shocked I am by these stories.
It's disgusting

Oh I'm so sorry Candy, as if being on benefits isn't hard enough they make you feel like something they've stood in on the street. Absolutely disgusting

No different from a PIP assessment. In fact it sounds taimer tbh.

Not familiar with benefits but if there is anything else. Any more interviews it phone calls record them

Ohh god really Sally!
Seems like we all get spoke to like complete crap then, how lovely 🙄

I am a civil servant and take my job very seriously I genuinely care about people. I feel sad that this has happened. Please complain

My3bears do you know who i would complain to? She was a compliance officer.**

Definitely complain! Disgusting way to treat people. I'm angry for you all for being out through this 😡

www.gov.uk/government/organisations/department-for-work-pensions/about/complaints-procedure

I think this might have the information you're looking for? I have friends who have been through disability interviews with the DWP and they're absolutely shocking, have blatantly lied sometimes. Please do complain.

Seems like we all get spoke to like complete crap then, how lovely

Yep, don't think you're anything special .

Ms here's me thinking they just took a personal dislike to me, how disappointing 🤣

@sicktodeathh @MsVestibule has posted the link for you. Hope you get sorted x

Brilliant, it seems like the right one!

Absolutely complain.

I believe every word of that and im raging on your behalf.

I'm not in the UK but when I was on disability, they used to stop it every couple of weeks for "checks " which I wouldn't know about until the day I was getting paid. They would leave me weeks without money. One Christmas I cried and cried down the phone with dept saying I was struggling for kids could they speed things up.

She told me I'm on benefits and they can take my money any time they want and there is nothing I could do about it.

When I said I wasn't to blame for being disabled she told me that I shouldn't have had kids, disabled people have no right to have them.

I ended up getting a work from home job and if I have to sit in my cold little office for the rest of my life answering calls before I go back to being subjected to that again then I will. Hell will freeze over first.

I complained through the complaints procedure and through our local politicians who made representations on my behalf. Half way through the investigation, she was promoted to head of department.

I think they couldn't give a shit how people are treated so complaining will probably get you no where, sadly.

Oh snip how horrendous for you! My issue seems so minor compared to what you had to go through.

It's absolutely disgusting the way they think they can treat people since they're so superior as they haven't had to rely on benefits. It's bloody hard work but when you're on benefits you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, if you speak your mind to them your moneys stopped. If you don't you just continue to be treat like this. No one in their right mind chooses to be on benefits

Not at all , yours is so valid. You should not be questioned about contraceptive for Christ's sake.

They either have evidence or they don't. If they do, present it! But this insidious way of trying to glean information from you is horrifying.

As you say, no one chooses this life, regardless of what the media would have people think, they should at least treat people with dignity.

Maybe you could stop your ex visiting your home? Is there a reason why you can't arrange regular contact meetings between dc and dad, outside of the home?

Totally agree about the evidence. They clearly have non but was then told I will be covertly watched for up to two years, they can go as far as searching through my bins if they suspect another adult is living here, if I think I'm being watched it won't be by them as their officers won't be able to be seen, they will check what mail I'm having sent to my house and in who's name, they'll check Expedia(?) if anything is registered to my house that isn't in my name

But apparently I am allowed a partner, so kind of them, yet they will go to this length to make sure I don't!
And even if they have very little evidence that doesn't mean they can't get a guilty verdict if they take me to court? Well good luck with that one.

Penny why should I have to? His home where he lives with his parent is very small, there isn't room to have any thing there for her and for him to see his daughter outside my home would cost money to be able to take her somewhere and as he is unemployed that's very difficult.
Why should I not be allowed visitors to see my daughter?
I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't.* I could make it difficult for him and say no sorry you can't come here but why should I have to do that? Or I could be a responsible adult and allow him to come and see her in her home. Yet this isn't allowed without being accused of being a benefit fraud.*

Pennywhy should I have to? His home where he lives with his parent is very small, there isn't room to have any thing there for her and for him to see his daughter outside my home would cost money to be able to take her somewhere and as he is unemployed that's very difficult.
Why should I not be allowed visitors to see my daughter?
I'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. I could make it difficult for him and say no sorry you can't come here but why should I have to do that? Or I could be a responsible adult and allow him to come and see her in her home. Yet this isn't allowed without being accused of being a benefit fraud

There's your answer....