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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Delivery driver just had a dump at my house!

927 replies

WitsEnd2018 · 02/11/2018 13:10

AIBU? I've just had some furniture delivered and the first thing the guy said was, 'Can I use your loo?' I didn't want him to but felt that I couldn't refuse so I reluctantly said yes. He was in there for ages. He's had a smelly dump. It fucking stinks. I could have cried. He then bought the furniture in and I've just had to go and clean the toilet. I'm disgusted.

OP posts:
DopeyDazy · 03/11/2018 14:21

our regular postman has occasionally used the toilet and I am still ok , thank god

DarlingNikita · 03/11/2018 14:23

If he couldn't find a public loo in a supermarket/pub/coffee shop etc, he should have gone behind a bush or out in the countryside somewhere.

I wonder if this poster is one of those forever doing righteous indignation on threads about travellers/gypsies leaving behind shits in bushes.

Limensoda · 03/11/2018 15:02

Urg so you let it just sit there for 20 mins. Boke

WTF do you think is going to happen in 20 minutes? The stain is covered in bleach!
Anyone would think this was about someone having shit smeared all over their house not a small mark INSIDE a toilet bowl where shit tends to be...
Get a fucking grip!!

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 15:09

The thing is, OP did let him use the toilet. He didn't suffer in any way. He went off happy.

OP felt sick and put out about it. Are you all saying she's not allowed to feel that?Well, she did. And loads of posters have said they'd feel similar.

It's not ideal to be so grossed out by this - again, loads of people find the idea of shitting in a stranger's toilet quite alien.

There are different normals here.

All OP did was express how it made her feel.

Obviously the suggestions of shitting in a bush etc are bonkers. But it's not that bonkers not to like strangers stinking out your loo. (except on MN I guess)

PortiaCastis · 03/11/2018 15:21

When you put bleach down the khazi you can bet your life the OH or a kid will want a dump

Sparklingbrook · 03/11/2018 15:35

I think a normal RL reaction would be to think eww that's not very nice, give the ,loo a clean (with your cleaning technique of choice), open the window, and then just forget all about it.

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 15:38

Well, yes sparklingbrook Ideally, that's true.

I think those of us who are unusually freaked out by poo would like to be like that too.

I'm a lot better these days but would still react a bit oddly.

Someone upthread said (not kindly) that she'd love to have OP's life if this was the sort of stuff she got upset about. I thought hiw uninsightful that was: it's not easy finding fairly mundane stuff so stressful.

Sparklingbrook · 03/11/2018 15:43

People get upset about different things, granted. By starting a thread on MN and discussing it in detail further, it was sort of prolonging the ordeal for the OP if they are genuinely unusually freaked out by poo.

TeddybearBaby · 03/11/2018 15:44

@Cressida89 it’s the contempt she feels towards the delivery driver that isn’t very kind. She even criticised him for eating lunch and her husband thought they deserved a refund. That’s all baffling tbh. Along with the he should crap in the wilderness comment 🤔.

I’m all for everyone having their own issues and something that seem ridiculous to some might cripple another. I get it but don’t make this guy a vile human being for doing something natural.

I think there’s a bit of snobbery going on.

DistanceCall · 03/11/2018 15:50

Most of us in our working lives have to regulate when we poo. I can't just go when I want!

Grownups are no longer in school. Yes, you can go when you want. You don't need permission. And if a workplace tries to tell you that you can't, they are being abusive.

VisitorsEntrance · 03/11/2018 15:52

Grownups are no longer in school. Yes, you can go when you want.

Not people who work in schools. You are expected to go at break times.
It’s the same in a lot of other jobs.

LaurieMarlow · 03/11/2018 15:57

Not people who work in schools. You are expected to go at break times.

The point is that delivery people don't have designated break times and on site facilities to use.

They're on the road all day, with targets to meet, in a country not particularly well served with public loos.

VisitorsEntrance · 03/11/2018 15:59

The point is that delivery people don't have designated break times and on site facilities to use.

I quite agree. I was disagreeing with the poster who said that all adults can go to the loo whenever they fancy. Which simply isn’t true in the case of loads of jobs.

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 16:08

if a workplace tries to tell you that you can't, they are being abusive

Quite wide of the mark here. No one tells me I can't go to the loo when I need to - it's just fairly obvious that I can't nip to the loo when I'm in sole charge of 25 pupils...But it's never been an issue for me or any other teacher I know in 15 years of teaching.

Literally loads of people have to schedule their toilet breaks! The employer of the delivery driver is presumably being "abusive" if they don't schedule in appropriate breaks then? It can't be their policy to rely on customers given that the customer could in theory say no?

DarlingNikita · 03/11/2018 16:10

The employer of the delivery driver is presumably being "abusive" if they don't schedule in appropriate breaks then

Well, yes. Or maybe it's more accurate to say if they load their' schedules so heavily and make them subject to such tight time sanctions/delivery targets etc that employees feel unable to take any time out.

Thisreallyisafarce · 03/11/2018 16:13

Delivery drivers have absolutely awful schedules to meet - virtually impossible. Of course they can't take 20-30 minutes out to find a public toilet. Some people are living on a different planet.

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 16:13

That may well be true Nikita

Sounds like the employer might be at fault rather than OP.

DarlingNikita · 03/11/2018 16:15

Cressida89, yes, employers like this are despicable. But I think the point is that if people stopped to think about the challenges delivery drivers face every day, they might not be so quick to howl disgust and outrage at the idea of a delivery driver daring to ask to use their loo (and then daring to shit in it).

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/11/2018 16:16

If he couldn't find a public loo in a supermarket/pub/coffee shop etc, he should have gone behind a bush or out in the countryside somewhere. then wiped himself with a dock leaf and and rinsed his hands in a puddle before completing the delivery?

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 16:20

That's fair enough. But as I've said - OP did let him use the toilet! He's none the wiser!

If we all thought about things from others' perspectives it would indeed be better. And that includes acknowledging that some people are a bit poo-phobic, even. Instead, what we had on this thread was people just desperate to tell OP her feelings made her inhumane, a snob, generally an awful person.

In fact, she was the net loser in the scenario, not the driver! He had his toilet break; she had a dirty toilet to clean!

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 16:20

(my reply was to Nikita!)

DarlingNikita · 03/11/2018 16:25

people just desperate to tell OP her feelings made her inhumane, a snob, generally an awful person.

While I agree 'inhumane' is a bit strong, it is pretty weird to get so het up about a person needing to use a toilet.

I don't see how she's the 'loser' –or, rather, I don't see how he's the 'winner' because he got a toilet break Hmm It's hardly a lottery win, is it?

Cressida89 · 03/11/2018 16:30

Of course it's weird! But loads of people are weird!! That's sort of the point. Why can't people think "gee that's weird; I'm glad I don't get upset about normal stuff as it must be quite stressful" instead of going " gee that's weird; she must be chastised for being weird."??

You do get what I mean about the net loser though, surely? I mean that the only negative outcome was for OP. Driver had his needs met. No it's not a lottery win, but that couldn't really be less relevant as a comment!

cricketballs3 · 03/11/2018 16:32

Dorsetdays exactly what I was thinking! I'm also with Dorsetdays in trrms of how to clear up any mess

SalemBlackCat4 · 03/11/2018 17:47

Maybe if you had a toilet brush next to the toilet, like most normal people, then he could have cleaned it himself. I bet you don't even have air freshener, either. So it's your fault for not having the basic of toilet cleaning tools there.

If your husband was serious, he has serious issues. I think you both need help.

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