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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take this further?

41 replies

CandyCreeper · 01/11/2018 11:46

Yesterday I was in my local supermarket, I was using the self check out when I heard the cashier behind me (she was on the till directly behind me) shout “OI!!” I turned around “your kids just knocked that off” I looked and saw my 4 year old had accidently knocked a sign down that was a piece of paper attached to something, I told him to pick it up and put it back while I finish scanning my shopping, Anyway I noticed he was struggling to do it so I told him to give it to me and I will sort it once I finished scanning. Well as I said that the woman shouted at me “what did you say!!” I repeated over to her that I will do it once I finished my shopping, everyone was staring at this point.
She then demanded that I handed it to her “right now” I said she was rude and she said “well dont come in here again then!”, it all seemed very ott and she was actually shouting at me. I told her I would be calling to make a complaint about her and she said “your child comes in here messing up the sign and you have a cheek to complain about me” I ended up leaving in tears which I know is stupid but it was so humilating. I called the customer helpline and the woman was horrified, she couldnt believe the way I was spoken to over an accident. She said she is going to call the store today to tell them it was unacceptable but I cant help but feel its not enough, her behaviour was so rude I was literally shaking and I dont feel able to return to the shop even though she assured me the woman had no right to tell me not to come in. Should I take it further (If its even possible) or leave it? I doubt I will go back in tbh.

OP posts:
CandyCreeper · 01/11/2018 11:47

sorry for the lack of paragraphs.

OP posts:
OhhEnnEmm · 01/11/2018 11:49

By take it further, you mean kill her, right?

CandyCreeper · 01/11/2018 11:51

Lol I mean head office or something. Im probably just being silly but still upset about it.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 01/11/2018 11:53

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Nesssie · 01/11/2018 11:53

She was incredibly rude and out of order but I'm not sure what more you can do. Hopefully by reporting it the store will look into it and discipline as appropriate. Think you just have to take it on the chin.

Alfie190 · 01/11/2018 11:53

It was very bad behaviour from the cashier. You have reported it and it will be taken up with the store, I don’t understand why you don’t feel this is enough, you actually don’t even know what will happen so how do you know it won’t be enough?

You have made a justifiable complaint, it will be addressed, I would not let it bother me further.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/11/2018 11:53

You'd be unreasonable not to take it further. "Don't come here again". You pay her wages. If it wasn't for people going there she wouldn't have a job.
There are plenty of other supermarkets you can go to.
Its just the attitude as well " Oi"
Who the fuck does she think she is.
Yes she might be having external problems but You leave them at the door. You certainly don't take it out on the customers to the point where they're in tears.
Flowers

CandyCreeper · 01/11/2018 11:54

I suffer from depression but you know what forget it I dont need to be made to feel worse. I have no reason to post on here “lying” but ok. I will leave it!

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/11/2018 11:55

I understand you won't want to say but itd be interesting to know which supermarket it was

EmmaGhostGhoul · 01/11/2018 12:01

What sort of supermarket was it? A little independent one, or one of the big 4?

I'd be inclined to put your complaint in writing - a phone call can be dismissed. A letter has to be responded to. Or contact them on social media.

To shout at a woman and a 4 year old child isn't acceptable. If your child was deliberately messing up the shop, it would be different, but this obviously isn't the case.

bobstersmum · 01/11/2018 12:01

Tell us exactly which supermarket and we can go in and knock all the signs down, if you're near me, my 18 month old dd would love that.

UnfinishedSenten · 01/11/2018 12:06

Seriously? @ShirleyPhallus.
OP has said she felt humiliated, whys crying an overreaction?
You didn't have to post that, you could of just carried on scrolling past this thread and not left the OP even worse about herself.

tiggerkid · 01/11/2018 12:07

Should I take it further (If its even possible)

You should and it's absolutely possible. Don't bother with the customer helpline though. I'd pick this up directly with the store manager. You can write to the manager if you don't feel comfortable speaking to him/her in person.

And you absolutely mustn't consider not going back to the store. That's how bullies win. You are an adult. That person was on work duty. It's not a school playground. You mustn't leave that without some consequences for this woman. If you do, you are only making her think it's ok for her to continue behaving this way with others too.

Vickymj · 01/11/2018 12:13

Wow what a nice person you sound @ShirleyPhallus (not)!

Shaking and crying over something like this sounds quite normal to me. OP don’t take any notice of these nasty posts. Suffering from depression can make us really sensitive too, especially when there are bitchy posts!

The woman in the shop sounds like a right bitch and I would contact head office, even if nothing is done it would help me direct my anger somewhere.

YANBU

AnnieOH1 · 01/11/2018 12:14

In the last 2 years I've witnessed 2 separate self-scan attendants at 2 different stores act like total bitches. I'm not trying to make excuses for anyone, but I do wonder exactly how much pressure the job is. They run from station to station like bluebottles and every customer seems to want an immediate response to their problem.

I don't think she should have spoken to you like that at all, although I do feel you were wrong to not simply put the sign back straight away.

I would certainly complain the staff member at minimum needs retraining and/or support.

lanbro · 01/11/2018 12:18

I was shouted at and spoken to really rudely by a supervisor in Tesco once, she made me cry! The security guard actually saw and sat me down whilst he packed my shopping (was heavily pregnant)...I wrote to Tesco head office and got an apology and a £20 voucher

ShirleyPhallus · 01/11/2018 12:28

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tiggerkid · 01/11/2018 12:30

It is an absolute overreaction to be shaking and crying after something like this

I'd say that depends on the individual and the person's tolerance level. I agree it's higher for some and lower for others. Still doesn't mean that the OP is the one in the wrong here.

CandyCreeper · 01/11/2018 12:37

I wasnt going to come back to this after being accused of lying, I already said my reaction was stupid! and just to clarify she wasnt the cashier at the self check out she was behind the till serving a customer, there are tills them self check outs next to them. she was on the till. I could have put the sign back straight away fair enough but that meant leaving my baby and shopping which i wasnt happy to do, it was only a paper sign and I had less than 10 items hence using the self check out so I was only going to be a few minutes so didnt see the big deal.

OP posts:
tiggerkid · 01/11/2018 12:43

my reaction was stupid!

It wasn't stupid. There is no stupid or clever way to feel. People just feel what they feel. I definitely don't think you should just leave it though because:

  • you are giving yourself a message that it's somehow ok for others to treat you this way, which it's not
  • you are sending a message to that woman that it's ok for her to continue doing what she is doing, which it's also not
UnfinishedSenten · 01/11/2018 12:54

It isn't a stupid reaction OP. If I felt humiliated like that I'd probably react the same too Thanks
Personally I think you should take it further, nobody deserves to be spoken to like that over such a minor issue.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/11/2018 12:58

I'm glad you've came back.
There are more supportive posters on mumsnet than arse holes.
Also your reaction was your reaction and wasn't stupid. Its horrible when your spoken to like something someone has trod it.

Rememory · 01/11/2018 13:01

OP it's easy to only see the harsh posts on here. Ignore them some people are dickhead keyboard warriors who wouldn't say boo to anyone in real life. 

GucciKnickers · 01/11/2018 13:10

Always complain about rude staff. They'll get a bollocking from their line manager and hopefully not behave like that again. She sounds a horrible pita.
Write to the manager.

mybumpismostlypudding · 01/11/2018 13:17

Actually I always feel like crying when somebody shouts at me, particularly when I'm not expecting it. I don't think you were unreasonable to get upset and I don't think it would be unreasonable to take that further either

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