To dread being alone with my toddler?

[Malibeau]

Please tell me I'm not the only one? DS is 22 months old and the inconsolable tantrums/whinging are driving me up the wall. I'm so shattered. I don't drive so can't take him far. Bus journeys mean bus tantrums of course so that terrifies me. The only way to keep him happy is if we are walking round the block for hours and hours on end. He will only have a 45 minute nap when at home with me. So I don't just have the opportunity to sleep whenever I please, as DP thinks I can.

I would much rather sit in an office and work all day. DP thinks I have it easier in other words 

I work part time over 2 or 3 days a week and I look forward to those days so much. Does that make me an awful mother?

There's no way I'm the only one feeling like this with a toddler?

@LannieDuck I will suggest it again and anticipate him to change his mind and say no, and then be really interested to know why that is, probably because he likes his daily 8am lie ins...

I have only just started my new part time job actually, not sure they would bump my hours up as much as FT to be honest, I would probably have to look for something else.

It's been a nightmare in the first place getting this job and applying for universal credit and liaising new days at the nursery. Seems stressful to change everything again so soon 

I want to at least suggest taking it in turns getting up with DS in the morning throughout the week though. Anticipating a big fat no to that too.

I kind of understand. I have 2 DC, my DD(4) and my DS(13 months) I don't mind spending time with one or the other, but dread when I have both on my own. Luckily my DD is at school and I look forward to her being their so I can spend time with my DS, (which I then feel guilty for) and when I have got them together I can't wait for my DS's naptime to spend time with my DD (which I again feel guilty for).

If your work won't let you go up as much as FT, perhaps they'd take you up to 4 days once you've been there a few months, and DH could reduce his hours to 4 days to pick up the extra childcare?

Also, as soon as your working hours are more equal, he'll need to start taking equal responsibility for everything else - housework, morning lie-ins, overnight wake-ups etc.

Definitely something to return to as you settle in at work, and if DH thinks you're being serious about switching roles on some days, you may find he magically starts to 'help out' more.

Out of interest, how did you (as a couple) decide that you'd take the PT role and he would stay FT? Was it just a natural extension of mat leave, or did you actively want to do some days of childcare (in the beginning)?

@LannieDuck Well DP is not actually DS's biological father. His biological father lives abroad and has nothing to do with us, so I was a single parent for the first year or so of DS's life before me and DP got together. We've been friends for 13 years on top of that.

I came back to England when I was 4 months pregnant so I couldn't take maternity leave from the job I was very lucky to get while I was pregnant. DP always worked full time anyway so I suppose we didn't think to change that, and I would just take up some part time work.

Part of me wants to just suck it up because I can't be bothered to have an argument.

May have outed myself there but never mind...

Often feel the same with my 27 month old. Those who’ve said “get out the house every day” - what if it’s doing that that sets off tantrums? Son insists he just wants to stay at home all day

Ahh, I think that does change things a bit.

Hopefully he might still like the idea of going PT, but it would be much more of a conversation about what would suit both parties, rather than a conversation about equal parenting.

I hope you can find a way through :)

I couldn't do it, went back to work at 9 months, mainly because financially we need my wage, but also because as much as i adore my DD i just couldnt cope at home without the adult discussion and socialisation.

My go to activities when DD was that age were:

Cheapest cereal.in aldi, tip it in a big plastic storage tub, bury little toys and put it on a sheet on the floor. Provide cups, spoons etc and let her dig around. That kept her entertained for ages and i just picked up the sheet and shook it in the bin/garden so.easy.clean up.

A trip to the local starbucks which has a big box of toys, she liked having a little cu p.of warm milk and pretending to be a grown up.

Baking, anything. Would sometimes just make icing and let her ice a pack of digestives.

Cooking dinner, i would give her one of her plastic kid knives and a pack of mushrooms or other softish veg and she would chop that while i did the meat and hard veg for a casserole or whatever.

@LannieDuck - I briefly mentioned him working PT and me working FT instead and he genuinely seemed to want to do it. He has the car too so could take DS to loads more places than I could. Shall see if that conversation goes any further.

@Lwmommy - Those are some great ideas, thank you!

It sounds promising :)

Another idea for activities - my two adored stickers at that age. Peel the white surrounding off a sheet of stickers, and LO should be able to get at the stickers without further help. I have a table that they were allowed to 'decorate', but you might prefer to give them paper! ;)