To ask what your shittest wedding present was? (lighthearted)

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

When we got married ten years ago, we didn't do a registry or request thingy - we told people we didn't want presents at all - however some folk insisted - we were even called awkward for not doing a request - and some of the presents ended up in the charity shop

Worst one, was an ugly picture frame...like the worst thing I have ever seen in my life

Towels that were from the department store where we had our wedding list but weren't the ones we'd requested and didn't match anything.Took them back to exchange for the correct ones and were told they hadn't been sold for 2 years.

My mum got a hand painted canvas off a priest who my step-dad is friendly with. It was cherubs holding a banner saying let God let you be fruitful and multiply. My mum has had a hysterectomy.

A fish smoker - the kind of thing that can only be used in a garden. We lived in a city centre flat at the time, which the giver was aware of. I suspect it was just something he had lying around.

He also was a no show at the reception and his baby gift to DS when he was born was peony's of his own rather shit photography (I work with professional photographers, all of whom could take better pictures with their lens cap on than this guy).

We didn't have a gift list as it's just not something that's done over here but I got a couple of ornate and crystal picture frames that just are not to our taste so they ended up in a Charity shop which I felt terrible about but they just weren't going to be used. To be honest we didn't receive anything too awful and we are very grateful for everything we received. It was the same for our daughters christening when we received a bizarre amount of ornate picture frames.

Chalk board - clearly recycled as it was broken and missing the chalk

My first MIL gave us a gift from her own doll collection. A rather creepy Victorian girl, she named Susan. When my first marriage broke up, MIL asked for Susan back.

My cousin took leave of his senses when I was getting married.
We're not that close but used see each other out and about the pubs.
He came around about 5 separate times, each time with something else.
A ceramic teddy with kitchen utensils in it .
A big spoon
A pestle and mortar.
A plastic kitchen clock that fell to pieces almost immediately.
A tea cosy.

A peanut pourer.

Venison, started a thread but I doubt anyone will trump yours!

Thecurtainsofdestiny what the fuh is a peanut pourer?! 😂

An egg cup, oh and an egg cup, and another, and another - we finished up with 20. We married as students and none of our friends could afford anything else. And I don't like eggs!

A book of sex positions and edible underwear from a friend of MIL's.

Plastic champagne glasses with ‘congratulations’ written on them 8 months after our wedding... 🤔

My MIL gave me some jewellery and some ornaments that I later discovered were wedding presents that had been given by her family to DH's first wife, and left unopened at her house, presumably because they were so hideous.

Towels. Everyone got us towels.

Not their fault to be fair. We eloped, but my mum insisted on having a “reception” when we got back. Venue near her house. As we lived 300 miles away guests were her friends and a few older family members.

When people asked her what gifts we wanted, she told them all “nice white towels”.

I now have enough fucking white towels to last a lifetime. Every guest got us towels. I hate plain white too, i’d much rather have had coloured ones. I feel like i’ve been using the same towel for 15 years and hanker over the fluffy patterned ones in john lewis.

Sadie I also had been mercifully unaware that such a thing existed!

It was a glass tube thing with a bird shaped head out of which to pour peanuts...

WHY????

A pair of scales (human scales not cooking), I am assuming it was a last minute regift although the person who gave them to me, much as she loves me very much, is a bit weight obsessed and I'm a bit chubby so perhaps not. I wasn't offended, a bit perplexed though...

That made me laugh! We're you terribly sad to part with Susan?

A recumbent gnome blowing a trumpet.....

a very very large welsh decorative wooden spoon thing with welsh flag, dragons etc hanging off, in not Welsh, man was marrying wasn't welsh, wedding wasn't in Wales and giftor hasn't any connection to Wales either, with our initials burnt on and the wrong wedding date by 3 days, every time she calls she askes have we hung it up yet,

Forgot to mention the blanket. We got a letter from one of exH's aunts, listing various things we might like and including a "new blanket"

From this - and knowing what she was like - we suspected the other stuff wasn't new, so said thank you very much and the blanket would be lovely

Presumably she regretted her offer, because what we actually got was an old one, covered in dog hair and smelling of wee (whether human or canine wasn't clear)

Someone bought me a little glass vase with glass fuschias in it. They were very poorly done and utterly hideous. This person was not a friend, fortunately. They were on the mantle piece in my living room and when we were packing to move, they accidentally got dropped on the tile hearth and smashed. Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

@BlackrockMum

How large is “very very large”?

A yellow chamber pot (yes really) with a 3D face on the front, and little hands for ears (I'm not kidding) . I was lost for words. So I decided to embrace this 'ugliest present of all time' and put him in the garden with some chive hair which I planted. This made me smile and I was actually quite fond him in the end.

Tragically, the first frost that year was catastrophic for chivey Clive. I found all the features of the face and the fingers crumbled into bits where they'd fallen to the floor. Had to throw it away. So Sad!

To be honest, the shittest present was my shitty ex husband 🤣