Since when did kids get so... grabby?! (A Halloween one)

[MessyHouse91]

Perfectly happy to be slated here - I don’t spend much time with kids (expecting DC1) so this might just be a kid thing!

This is my first year living in a house on an estate (moved from my city centre flat) so my first year buying sweets for the trick or treaters. I love Halloween so I bought massive bags of sweets.

The first kids I held the bowl out so they could choose their own sweets from the selection, but each of the kids grabbed massive handfuls for 5 or 6 bags of sweets each.

For the next kids, I held the bowl out again and said ‘one each please’. The kids didn’t listen and took big handfuls again, and then Mum looked a little embarassed and told the kids to put them back. I didn’t know if it was the done thing to give them a limit and didn’t fancy standing on the doorstep while the kids rifled through their bags trying to figure out which ones it was, so I told her not so worry about it.

The third lot, I put the sweets into their bags for them. One little boy asked if he could have another for his sister, so I chucked in an extra, and then he got half way down the drive and asked for another for his sister. I said ‘I gave you one for your sister’ and he said ‘that was for my big sister, this one is for my little sister’. I gave him a third, and he shouted to his friends ‘SCORE! GOT ANOTHER ONE’.

I loved trick or treating as a kid (my mum only ever let me go to neighbours we knew) so I don’t want to be miserable about it. I was just so looking forward to decorating and seeing all the kids in their costumes! I know it’s just kids and just sweets but the whole thing seems a bit sad, especially as I’m now out of sweets before it even gets going.

Do I go to the shop and buy more and enjoy the whole thing and chalk it up to experience, or do I stop answering the door and be grumpy for the rest of the night?

I went trick or treating to a place where they get over 2000 trick or treaters (USA). Out of the 100's of kids I saw trick or treating I didn't see ONE (no matter how small) take more than one sweet.

My two would never even dream of this, but we did see some kids not even bothering with saying "trick or treat, thanks, happy halloween", one pre-teen even was on her phone as she handed out her basket! She got told off by the parent in that house jokingly... but she still didn't put the phone down!

We’ve never had anyone come to the door at this house, despite leaving lit pumpkins near the gate. We’re so tucked away that nobody seems to know we’re here, yet every year I buy treats to give, just in case.

We don't do it now but when we did kids would just take one or hold out their bag for me to put one in.

No one knocks now as we don't decorate and obviously kids round here have been well trained not to go to undecorated houses.

Give us your address Shockers, we'll descend on you en masse next year. A terrifying horde of pre-teens on a sugar-high awaits you in 2019 [hgrin]

Several years ago I had returned back from a long trip overseas to arrive back for a family get together and to celebrate my Halloween birthday. I received a knock at the front door of my ground floor flat and opened the door to a group of children saying "trick or treat". I replied " Gosh I'm really sorry, I don't have any sweets, its my birthday and I'm about to go out to celebrate, sorry". (In fact I did not have a thing in the place except some milk that was picked up enroute from the airport). I thought no more about it and left the flat about 10 minutes later to find my Audi covered in wet flour. I was so angry. Since then I have moved and always have some sweets at the ready... trust me raisins and nuts don't do it, but they do get a lecture on making sure they don't eat all at once and clean their teeth..... surprisingly, no one called this year!

I really can't type.

The ones we had last night were polite, well-mannered and lovely.

I find it a little ironic that one thread mentions grabby kids on Halloween and the one directly underneath it asks what your shittest wedding gift was - it's almost as though it's ok to be grabby as adults but not as children.

We go out on mass on our street so left a large Halloween bowl on doorstep while we were out fully expecting it to be empty when we got back.
Arrived home and was still half full so have to say that the ones we had round were very restrained, and I had to encourage others to take more

DS absolutely refused at the houses where they told him he could take more than one. 

He was on the local news taking some and you could hear me snarling 'say thank you' in the background. 

My boys only take 1 each and so do our friends that we go around with. They still had plenty by the time we got home, so they are happy. All good fun.

I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt over the years. Kids are like farts. You can tolerate your own but other peoples are just hideous.

I blame the parents. But, you’re a Novice, you’ll do just fine next year 😊😊. I never let them help themselves.

All the kids who came to my door took one each and were so polite and lovely - and they all told jokes (guising means jokes or a song). I encouraged them to take a couple of things (I had too many).

Not one of them was grabby or impolite. They were truly all delightful and I mean that.

The ones we had last night were polite, well-mannered and lovely.

Glad it wasn't just me.

I blame the parents too - the parents near me must be doing something right!

6 people off our street had their Halloween decs nicked by 7pm!! Expensive area which is meant to be posh but some thieving scumbag has stolen ceramic ghosts & witches! Glad I didn't bother now.
Teaching my dog a new trick for next years lot who didn't take the hint that lights off, no decs and two signs meant we were not participating!

We had about 200 and not one took more than 1 sweet. If they picked out 2 they put one back. If they didn't notice, their friends pointed it out. All were polite and never asked for more. I always let them pick out. Maybe have all the same - then they can't be fussy.

My third post (but I've read a bit more) and I want to add I had teens too - they had made an effort and they were all just as polite and lovely. I work with teenagers and I generally I like them and enjoy speaking to them.

Nobody has to participate in Halloween; don't have any Halloween decorations and you should be left alone.
I bought a pack of Halloween serviettes from Poundland and made up little bags with about 5 sweets each in them. All tied up and good to go, so each child got a pack. We had 3 left, so there were 27 little visitors. All seemed delighted that they had a little parcel/party bag and all were polite.
Luck of the draw depending on how the kids are in your area, I guess.

My niece has had one young lad three times at her door with his mother

Our area does Halloween in a big way, most houses trim up, we don't go to ones without pumpkins/decs and all the children took one sweet and said thank you. It was a nice evening. It's only one night a year, harmless fun for the most part.

I never really got to experience a proper Halloween in England as my parents wouldn't dream of letting us go beg for candy. Since we moved to America though it fast became my favourite holiday. We lived in a fairly fancy neighbourhood and so all the kids from other neighbourhoods would come to ours as the treats were considered better. I noticed over the years the atmosphere changed slightly. The first few years everything was so friendly, with home owners sitting outside on porches having wine and cheese parties with the neighbours while handing out the candy. Some even had vodka jelly shots for the parents! After a few years as more and more kids were going round in cars that their parents drove slowly from one house to the next and older kids had huge pillow cases full of candy that they took from the people who left a bowl out with the honour system... I noticed a change in the home owners. They started asking my kids which street they lived on. We found ourselves feeling awkward for trick or treating there (from my in laws home as was our tradition, since we lived in a flat on the other side of a busy road from the area) and justifying what block they lived on. And the African American kids got asked that a lot more than we did.

The last two years we have lived in Philadelphia. Our neighbourhood is far less fancy, and there is a lot of poverty and crime around. I sat out with my neighbour drinking caramel appletinis while we handed out candy.

We are old hands now. We kniw to hand the candy out personally, not giving the kids a chance to. Grab fistfuls. We find they don't even seem willing to climb one step to get close enough for us to drop the candy in the bags, so we end up awkwardly throwing it at the bags. Most don't even say trick or treat, or anything at all. Many in this new neighbourhood have no costume. Weirdest of all to me is that the parents bring their own bags and expect candy too. Sometimes 20 people come over in a big group and it is chaotic and nobody even says thankyou.

I don't mind giving anyone candy if I have it. Teenagers, even parents. We had a special needs lady in her 60's take huge handfuls of candy after saying "are you the house that gives out towels? No? Just candy? Oh well, candy is better than nothing. Can you fill my bag up?" Holding out a large backpack. We let her take far more than anyone else. But some if the magic of the experience is lost when the little kids don't take the time to let you see their costume and when you can't let them pick their own candy because you might run out. Or when they start coming at 4pm when it is only meant to be from 6-8pm.

Sorry, that was long. I have definitely noticed it is more grabby this year.

We had a marvellous night last night. It's a big thing where I live and a lot of people go to the most astonishing effort for the benefit of the community. We have a general unwritten rule that undecorated houses are left well alone. I spent a small fortune on sweets as I knew there would be crowds of kids passing through. We must have had way more than a hundred visitors. Fortunately all were polite, said please and thank you and nobody "grabbed". Aside from one or two larger groups, all were supervised by parents. I took my son just down our road and back and we visited the larger displays in other roads. It was a lot of fun!

Dont give them a choice? I gave them a bag of sweets each,no choice,if they didnt like them tuff.Then shut the door.Its not obiigatory to spoil the lil brats lol.

I think with little kids it's all new to them so they don't have that realisation to just take one you are offering them a huge bucket of sweets, mine are 2 & 3 and it was their first year.
Luckily mine are ok with the take one and that's it, but I know some kids that are older will see an opportunity and just grab untold's
I don't think it's bad parenting or kids being rude, it's just sweets to them they don't see the bigger picture of annoying people.