To expect bf of a year to come to a christening with me?

[pornstarmartinilover]

I've been invited to a christening of a colleague in a few weeks time. I asked bf if he will come with me. We've been together in total (including a 4 month separation a year ago) for 18 months. He's never met the people whose christening t is and won't know anyone who is going. Is also about one hour away. It falls on the weekend that we usually spend together.
His reaction wasn't great. He said he would feel awkward as he doesn't know anyone. I agreed and pointed out that this is the sort of thing that you do in relationships and that in terms of not knowing anyone, you have to start somewhere. He didn't reply and said that he would have to think about it. I was a little annoyed and stand-off ish after that as I think that after this long you should want to do things like this with your partner. He then went to work. I'll not see him now until Sunday but we usually text a lot throughout the day. I feel like it's the elephant in the room now and. Don't what what to say!! Am I being unreasonable to want him to come with me? What should I say? Should I text acknowledging the conversation and explain why I was a bit upset, or just ignore it and wait until he brings it up?

i think you're unreasonable for wanting him to go WANT to go with you. Not that unreasonable for you to want him to go with you though (if that makes sense). I've been with dh for 13 years, he's great, but no way would he actually want to come along to something like this. Saying that, he would do it of course, and wouldn't be arsey about it, but it wouldn't be an activity he actually wanted to go along to. I wouldn't read too much into it as being a sign of there being a problem in your relationship as some pp say. I think it's perfectly understandable of him not actually wanting to go along to something like this.

A man who was into you would be happy accompanying you anywhere

Nonsense. I love my husband but I can think of plenty of places I wouldn't want to accompany him to! His work Christmas night out, the DIY shop, a cycling race, the wedding of a colleague I've never met and likely never will meet again - the list goes on.

I love him but I don't need to be in his pockets 24/7. Likewise if I was invited to a colleagues' christening I wouldn't expect him to come with me - he doesn't know my colleagues (or lots of my friends) and that's not a pre-requisite to us having a good relationship, or to his love for me.

Not all relationships involve the couple having mutual friends and spending all their free time together. I don't know the vast majority of my husbands' friends and that suits me just fine. I don't need to know them. I have my friends and he has his.

Meh... Unless it's a close family member I wouldn't be up for accompanying a new-ish partner to a christening for people I didn't know.

I wouldn't want to go either. Sure, introduce him to your social/work circle but a make it a casual eveningt out at the pub, or invite some of them to dinner. If it were a partner's close family maybe I'd agree to go as a plus one but I really don't think a christening or a wedding is a good setting for a first introduction to a whole bunch of a partner's friends and coworkers when their attention will be more focussed on the baby/bridal couple than some random unknown.

Yes I suppose I can see now that t was probably unreasonable of me. I never really gave much thought to the event itself, just really thought of it as an event we had both been invited too xx

Unless you have a strong faith yourself, I really can't see the point in going to the baptism of an adult you don't really know.

I mean this in the nicest possible way but I think it would be healthy to examine why you would say yes to something you dont actually want to do because your dp asks you.

Oh come on. Don’t we all have to do things we don’t want to do sometimes for the sake of people we love or good manners or work or family or whatever....it’s life isn’t it?

Or are we all teaching our kids that they only have to do exactly what they want to, and don’t need to consider anyone else? I doubt it.

Oh man, so many people saying ‘if he was crazy about you he’d do it, bin him’ 🙄

How about, if you were crazy about him you wouldn’t ask him to go to someone he doesn’t knows boring Christening. I wouldn’t want to go even if it was my own flesh and blood let alone my new girlfriends work colleague.

I wouldn't be wild about going (don't entirely approve of christenings), though I might do it if it was really important to the person I was dating, and the person was really important to me.

But this does sound a bit like you are desperate to parade a rather reluctant man as Your Partner, and he's not that fussed. Are you someone who has had a lot of crap from other people about being 'still single'?

Is he a practicing member of the denomination that is having the Christening? If not, there are many reasons that he might not want to attend. I don't agree with the concept of infant baptism, so I don't attend baby Christenings. There are many people with other objections to organized religion who would probably not attend.

Anyone,will do something for you if they want to do.
Some one,who really,cares will do something for you if they don’t want to and enjoy making you happy.

My DH hates this kind of event but he will put up with it if I really want him to. If it was close family then I would expect him to come because yes, when you love someone you do sometimes do things you don't really want to, just to make them happy. It works both ways, though. But for the christening of a work colleague he doesn't know? No, I wouldn't expect that.

No I think you’re being silly I’m afraid OP. I wouldn’t want to go to a boyfriend’s random colleague’s christening and I’d refuse to go, I wouldn’t even think about it!

Meeting a lot of new people at one go can be difficult for some people. Can you arrange to meet people in smaller groups at less organised stuff first?

I wouldn’t want to go.

Of course he should have to go. Why on earth would he? He doesn't know them!

Christenings are for the parents/godparents and very very close family. Nobody else gives a shit.

No I'm not desperate to parade him around as my partner. I don't even think most of my work colleagues know I'm with anyone, although the person whose christening it is does. It's just nice to have someone with you on occasions etc.

Shouldn't obviously

A lot of menfolk don't like going to certain events, and if he is one of them,then just let it go, its really no big deal.. some women like going to weddings and christenings, and some men don't even like going to their own weddings ha ha

I'm with @Kittensupthecurtains. These type of events are how you get to know each other's friends.

My now DH introduced me to his family at the redemption of his nephew. This is a strange Jewish ceremony where you give a priest a coin in order to exempt the child from Temple service. It was a bit odd but also nice to see the whole family together. I'm not sure what he would have made of it if I'd said no....

Upslidedown but it's not the OP's friends it's a colleague, I wouldn't go to one of DH's colleagues christening.

I wouldn't want to go either.
I would want to have a lovely weekend with my bf.
I'm done with doing things to please others unless they are really, really close people who desperately need me there. Christenings have got to the most boring event going.

It's not the possession of a penis that makes you less than interested in utterly tedious social occasions with a room full of strangers. A christening is usually booze-free and full of religious bullshit, so the sort of thing that most people would only put up with for a dear friend or family. I'd refuse to go if it was my own work colleage, let alone the colleague of someone I was shagging occasionally.

I think the word colleague is misleading - it is a friend of yours and if the two of you are invited to the wedding he should attend the christening so he gets to know the couple and their friends.