Younger man or older man?

[SheBangsit]

Sorry, posting for traffic. But no doubt I'll be told I'm BU anyway!

All things being equal in terms of attraction would you pursue a relationship with

A 42 year old who doesn't have kids yet
A 55 year old whose children are grown

if you have kids and don't want any more?

42 year old without kids probably but obviously there’s a lot more to it than that.

42 year old when asked about kids, said he's open to not ever having kids (I told him I didn't want more).

With 55 year old, clearly it's not an issue.

Whichever had had a vasectomy.

How old are you OP?

How old is the other person in the question?

I just feel I'd never be giving younger man what he wants and denying him a fruitful relationship with someone a lot younger than me who would love to have kids. He's a lovely guy, but it's the one thing that makes me think he would leave fairly swiftly. That said, he seems interested and pursued me even though I said no to a second date and started up contact with me again.
Older guy is lovely, but just, older. I'm 41.

You are 41, I would go for the 42, as I think the age gap is pretty big with the 55yr old

Younger one.

I don't have the confidence to believe younger guy would stay with me without producing a child for him.

The 42 year old then cause of the age gap.

55 year old looks older, but both are virile and physical attraction was there with both.
I've had one date with each btw. Both want second dates.

I am sure these will not be your only two options OP, neither seem right in this situation. Try something else!

I don’t think the age gap for the older is big enough to be a worry.

I’ve only got a casual thing but he’s not far off 55 and I’m younger than you OP.

From what you’re saying it does seem you favour the younger so go for it with him and trust him when he says how he feels unless you’ve a particular reason to be sceptical.

Older - they are kinder.

If I was 15 years younger, my choice would instantly be the younger one. But I'm older, wiser and I've been through a lot of shit, so I'm not sure I could go through marriage or something at this stage with younger guy (he goes to Church).
Please bare in mind that I'm clearly a lunatic as I've only had one date each.

I'd pass on both of them and hopefully find someone closer to my age who was certain they didn't want children.

Well I only have 2 options lol. The age thing doesn't bother me. Apart from the fact that the younger one is at the age where he suddenly decides he wants to reproduce

And I ain't reproducing again for no man lol

Can they really mean it when they say that reproducing isn't important to them?

You've had one date with each. Don't over think this yet.
So go on a 2nd date with each and see how you feel after that.
You may not like either after date 3 or 4.
Just take it as it comes.
See them more than once each and take it from there.

In that case, go for a second date with both of them. You'll probably find the choice easier to make as you get to know each of them a bit better.

Can they really mean it when they say that reproducing isn't important to them?

Odd question.

Do you really mean it when you say you won’t reproduce again?

Childfree is a perfectly valid and normal choice

Go on a second date with both (separately, I mean- not as a three!!) and see if that helps clarify things. It’s such early days. You don’t need to make a decision to choose somebody after one date!

I would go for the older man. They have learnt more. Good luck

Sensible advice! Yes, overthinking.