To not lend/give SIL anything

[Leeleeloo]

Me and DP are young parents and have a 6 month old DD. We would love our children close in age so will most likely have another soon

SIL age 16 is pregnant and MIL has said SIL would like to have our next2me crib, prep machine, steriliser, clothes if it's a girl, car seat... etc. I laughed it off saying no I'm keeping everything for future DC. She said she wasn't joking and that we are family we should share. But I bought the crib, prep machine, and car seat out of my own pocket (expensive!!) and I've given away all DDs clothes so far except special items which SIL has apparently said its only fair her baby has them if its a girl. DP told Mil no to as SIL has a history of stealing from family and most likely we wouldnt get anything back.

I dont mind saving some clothes from now on but expecting to borrow/be given nearly all our baby things is rude? SIL herself text me too saying she will save up some money and buy everything off me and I feel bad saying no but I'm 21, I want more kids!

23 years later I am still upset at about the hand knitted items my ex-SIL lost. Never lend anything you aren't prepared to never see again. If you want more children keep what you need.

Also sharing works both ways. Giving someone things that will not be replaced is just giving!

....young mothers feel/are treated as i always say to Dp if I was older I wouldnt be constantly overloaded with babysitting requests, unwanted advice etc.

Its got sod all to do with age, everybody with a child thinks they are an expert! At least if your only 20 grannies unwanted advice is only 20 years out of date not 40!!!

Your SIL is still under the parental responsibility of your MIL. It’s her job to sort out stuff for her own daughter not trying to guilt-trip and ponce from you. Glad that your DH is on board and backing you. Also be very careful that you won’t be lumbered with your DN or taken advantage off for childcare.

Don’t give her a bloody thing - but be careful of her visiting in case your stuff goes missing

your SIL is not your responsibility
I'd tell her to jog on

Next time just deflect - no one has a right to give another person's stuff away. That's what your MIL is doing here.
Not acceptable.
Don't get drawn into long justifications - "that's nice of you to offer our stuff MIL, but it's not going to happen" and repeat, repeat, repeat.
And make it your DP's problem to sort out MIL issues in future.

Disford I was sure I gave them all back (time frame and you being an ex sil fits in with the age of my ds).

@scaryteacher. Don't worry it's not you, she knew how upset I was at the time

Oh good!!