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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on Jeremy Kyle to meet my siblings?

80 replies

Konoha · 30/10/2018 20:18

I'm seriously considering it!

I have an older half-brother, and a younger half-sister that I've never met. My dad died when I was four, and all my family member's 'can't remember' anything to do with him or my siblings. I've tried the internet and Salvation Army, but not come up with much; it doesn't help that the details I DO have about him are different on each document. All I have is his name (which is spelt differently depending who I ask!) And they date of his death.
He was murdered 31 years ago and all I have is one picture, dubious information about him, and two siblings whose names I don't even know :( I've spent the last decade trying to find SOMETHING.

aibu unreasonable t o be desperate enough to go on Jezza? :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Konoha · 30/10/2018 21:44

butchyrestingface ! Nigel? Ive n o idea? I tried joining that group, waiting for them to accept it :s

OP posts:
Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 30/10/2018 21:45

I know you probably have already tried because it's obvious but have you contacted the

Coventry police
The army

The Irish police (regarding the attack)
The ruc
Any Irish news outlets that reported on the mortar attack at the time they may have reported names of wife, children or mentioned his age etc
People attached to Sinn Fein at the time may have information too.

Any of the above may have more information like date of birth etc

He has been part of many organisations that keep records and paperwork so there must be records about him and the mortar attack must have been a big story at the time so I would be surprised if there were no records regarding it.

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2018 21:51

@Konoha, these are the comments on the FB page. 2nd poster refers to a 'Nigel'.

To go on Jeremy Kyle to meet my siblings?
ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2018 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Konoha · 30/10/2018 21:53

Ok, sorted it, it weren't letting me access it for some reason. Yeah, a lady called Tricia posted it?

OP posts:
TragicallyUnbeyachted · 30/10/2018 21:54

That was one of the things I sent you a link to -- also a possible birth record although it doesn't tie in with London or Coventry.

RomanyRoots · 30/10/2018 21:55

OP, I joined ancestry so that at least I had some family history to show them. All I had was my bm name, I knew the family didn't want anything to do with the idea of me and thought I owed my dc something.

Without the dna test I found 40 cousins, 10 aunties/Uncles and lots of other family. Some actually wanted to know and we met. Some, still want to believe I don't exist. I'm 52, go figure Grin

No way could I have gone through all that emotion without my dh and certainly not in front of a tv audience.

I wish you the very best of luck. Ancestry isn't cheap, but it would cost to go on tv is some way.

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2018 21:56

If you've got it, I'll ask for MN to remove the photo now. Not really fair having their names exposed.

ProlificLurker · 30/10/2018 21:57

Just going to pm you.

Evilspiritgin · 30/10/2018 22:05

Look on things like military

Evilspiritgin · 30/10/2018 22:11

Sorry clicked to early

There is a little bit about him on military images, I suppose you could joins site like that and ask about him or a royal artillery veterans group, I’m presuming his wife will have an ruc pension, he was killed in swatragh which is near maghera I presume you could try papers from around there

ConferencePear · 30/10/2018 22:12

According to the Liverpool Echo -
Constable Eric Clark father of five from Portballintrae Co. Antrim was killed by a mortar on Sept 17th, 1991.

Nancydrawn · 30/10/2018 22:13

I don't want to derail, so I'll leave this: I think I run shy because the DNA testing companies have a lot of latitude in the US, including life insurance and data selling. Restrictions tend to be voluntary rather than compulsory. I am glad to hear there are greater privacy rules in the UK (though if it's based on EU privacy laws, this may change post-Brexit). If you think there's no way that you/your kids are going to live in the States, then it seems the privacy concerns seem much less alarming.

Evilspiritgin · 30/10/2018 22:22

Another website saying he’s from Coventry he was 37

ProlificLurker · 30/10/2018 22:37

Good luck Konoha

ExCharlieBucket · 30/10/2018 22:58

Ive PMd you OP

PostNotInHaste · 30/10/2018 23:59

I’ve also sent a PM

Loubielouslonglegs · 31/10/2018 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 31/10/2018 00:12

If you go onto Forces War Records website you can find lots of info about ex service personnel. Good luck!

Penguinsetpandas · 31/10/2018 00:21

There's this on Twitter including someone who said he worked with him, maybe try messaging that man.

mobile.twitter.com/absolutehero69/status/1041371182241599489

notapizzaeater · 31/10/2018 00:24

This is the lovely side of Mumsnet, all pulling together

MaluCachu · 31/10/2018 00:32

I totally agree ^

ReanimatedSGB · 31/10/2018 00:47

I was adopted as a baby. I used to worry, occasionally, that one of those shitshows like Jeremy Kyle or Trisha would try to coax me on to the programme to meet 'family members'. I would have refused. While I did quite a few talk shows that were work-related, something to do with family would have been something to avoid like the fucking plague.

Original poster
Konoha · 31/10/2018 23:58

thank you for all the help you gave me. I'm in contact with a few people who knew my dad well, and I'm finding out loads of information that I'd never have come across if you guys didn't point me in the right direction yesterday. Flowers

OP posts:
ExCharlieBucket · 01/11/2018 07:04

thats amazing, well done.