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To be touched out... by the cat?

38 replies

Twork · 30/10/2018 16:25

I have to stand up all the time because as soon as I sit down, she's there, like an omnipresent lap monster.

It's not too bad if she settles but she wants fussing and headbutts me or climbs up my chest to stick her nose in my mouth if I stop stroking her.

I'm hiding in the kitcten but she's staring at me through the door.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2018 16:30

I have a level 5 clinger kitty, too. I should report her for stalking.

SleepySofa · 30/10/2018 16:32

I get this too. I have a preschooler who wants to be on me at every opportunity, a DP who is very cuddly the moment DS goes to bed and as soon as I've wriggled away from him, the cats start fighting to get on me. STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!!

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 30/10/2018 16:43

I feel your pain. I have a needy cat who is also very kneady (see what I did there?!)

She was abandoned by her mother as a kitten and I genuinely think she believes I am her mother. Every time she jumps on me she kneads me like a load of dough while purring at 100 decibels. If I have the temerity to try and move she looks at me with big sad eyes and does The Silent Miow.

I love her but she is a clingy cat. She also sleeps on my legs at night so I can't move all night. 

TitOfTheIceberg · 30/10/2018 16:53


As soon as I get home and sit down, the sodding cat wants to be on my lap. Like you say OP, if she'd just settle down and have a snooze then great, very sweet etc. But nooooo, we get half an hour of kneading and her trying to headbutt anything else I may try to hold - book, phone, ipad, G&T, whatever - out of my hand so I can give her my undivided attention. If I lose patience and tip her on the floor, she sits on the stairs in the huff and serenades me with 16 choruses of the song of her people.

I love her to bits but FFS cat, if I'd wanted to have my breasts prodded non-stop for half an hour every night I'd have married Amorous Wayne from youth club.

sadsadsady · 30/10/2018 16:54

Dh is like this. And ds. And the dog. And the two cats. And the chickens if I'm outside.

Fuck OFF. 

babycatcher411 · 30/10/2018 17:06

Another here with a high-grade needy cat. Prior to my partner moving in, she was needy for a period, maybe up to an hour after you settled down in the evening but then she’d get the picture and piss off onto my sons bed for the rest of the night.
Since my other half moved in, he panders to her every need. Since he started buying her cat treats she now cries from about 3pm till he’s home, on top of being more needy in the evening.
Plus, she dribbles. Gross.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 30/10/2018 17:10

Neither of our cats are interested in me, but the younger boy cat adores DH and won't leave him alone.

Watching the poor man trying to put his pants on of a morning, while the cat tries to climb his chest for a good morning kiss is very, very funny Grin

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 30/10/2018 17:12

Has anyone's needy cat not got to grips with the clock change yet?

I can cope with NeedyCat getting me up at 6.30am for her toilet and breakfast routine (I'm like the SWWNBN of cats) but 5.30 is too much.

Annoyingly, not only is she needy she is very very dim (sorry cat) and can't use a cat flap so needs someone to pander to her.

At least she doesn't dribble though baby. Poor you! Yuck. Can you get her a cat bib? And put a photo up of course :)

MrsStrowman · 30/10/2018 17:14

My cat has personal space issues, he has started trying to jump on DHs lap when he's on the toilet in the morning!

YoThePussy · 30/10/2018 17:15

Since last Friday I have become become mother to two very needy cats. One attempts to climb me for fussing when I get home for work. The other pats me incessantly if I stop stroking him (and he dribbles). No complaints however as the cold weather has arrived and they understand their duties as nature’s hot water bottles.

Cassiopeia13 · 30/10/2018 17:18

I feel your pain, wherever I sit or lie down he's round my neck like a ginger scarf. As part of his attachment issues, his preferred method of waking me up is to lick his paw then brush it lightly across my lips. The most terrifyingly creepy way to be woken up.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/10/2018 17:19

I haven't had an unbroken nights sleep since I adopted cheddar. She likes to knead me constantly. Usually on my face and neck and it hurts. I haven't the heart to shut her sister out of the bedroom though.

hangry · 30/10/2018 17:20

my extra clingy cat pads with her claws out. have tried everything to get her to stop but she just won't. i have to bury myself under the duvet, head and all to avoid puncture. she has also taking to padding my face. which is nice.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/10/2018 17:20

She also woke me up st 4am connoting on my bed. I wouldn't have minded but I only changed the sheets yesterday!

Toddlerteaplease · 30/10/2018 17:21

Hangry, I feel your pain!

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 30/10/2018 17:27

We also own needy cats. One demands to come into the bathroom with you then will jump into your trousers (whilst they’re round your ankles) to make a house. She also does the loud purring with the dribbling when kneading. Other cat is aloof most of the time but as you get up or go to bed he’s around demanding attention and love. I’m pregnant and having to sleep on my side so my hip is his napping position of choice.

AndromedaPerseus · 30/10/2018 17:30

Our rescue cat is very needy but her history is very sad she was chased out of her former home when her owners got a dog and dog attacked her repeatedly. She has calmed down now that she has been here for a few months but will sit on any knee and be cuddled like a baby given half the chance

toastfiend · 30/10/2018 18:45

I have a dog like this. It's intense. Every time I sit down, she's there. Just staring at me with her head resting on my knee, absolutely trembling with anticipation that I might let her on the sofa. If I dare to use my laptop or my phone she nudges them out of my hand or puts her face over them and all this is done whilst maintaining a constant high-pitched wine. If you let her on the sofa she has to be on you. She's a Pointer, so not exactly a lap dog!

I adore her, but sometimes I wish she'd just do the same as our other dog and just lie down on the bed we have specifically for them in the living room and chill out.

Zofloramummy · 30/10/2018 18:51

I have three cats, (two were hand reared) and they rotate their affections to make sure I am never alone! I spent Saturday evening wearing one as a scarf whilst another sat at the back of my head!

I cannot sit down without becoming a cat bed. It’s ridiculous Grin

Pursefirst · 30/10/2018 18:52

@Fortnite, another one here who has a cat who is firmly convinced I'm her mother. She roars like ten asses when she can't find me, insists on being attached to me at all times, kisses me, boops my face, licks my head, tells me all her stories in cat language and headbutts everything I attempt to hold out of the way so she can have me all to herself.

This in and of itself wouldn't be much of an issue, but DH and I also have two dogs and The Needy One's sister too. All of whom try to lovebomb me from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I've been known to hide in the linen closet for a few minutes respite, well until a furry paw comes through the gap at the bottom of the door that is.


FloppyRagdoll · 30/10/2018 18:53

I recently had a visiting cat who was ultra needy. She would constantly knead me (claws out), head butt me, and lick me with her rough, rough tongue. Frequently all three at once. She was adorable but I didn't get anything done except pet her the whole time she stayed with me. She is a rescue cat, so goodness knows what she went through before. I'll know next time she comes to stay to clear the diary completely.

BaldricksCoffee · 30/10/2018 18:56

Ah... I have a cure for this.


Have one at the ready, and start to peel it when you sit down.


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FurryGiraffe · 30/10/2018 18:57

I have a needy cat. Kneads and licks constantly, wants to be up against your face, constantly seeking attention. He also loves to jump up on your shoulder. He’s gorgeous and everyone always says how lovely it is he’s so affectionate, but sometimes I just want him to leave me the hell alone! He’s affectionate with everyone but does have a special level of ultra neediness just for me, which is a bit exhausting.

ForalltheSaints · 30/10/2018 18:58

You do not own a cat. It owns you. YABU to expect anything different.

EK36 · 30/10/2018 18:58

I wish my cat would come and sit on me. Mine is aloof his only interaction with me is howling for food at 7am, 12, 4 and 7pm.

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