Does anyone else share my guilty pleasure ... watching Escape to the Country

[IamtheMistressofmyFate]

I always fast forward over the presenters trying out worthy pastimes or learning a local trade like sheep tickling.

I cringe when the couples are being introduced to us and they've been instructed to look at each other and smile and the camera lingers for too long.

And I wince when the retired couple want a large house so their grown up children can come and stay over Christmas - don't these people read all the AIBU threads where posters loathe visiting family over Xmas?

I quite like a bit of ETTC, I totally agree with the rampant very gendered hobbies, her quilting, his workshop.
I’m also amazed at how they find such spectacularly dull couples.
Yes to wanting a period cottage but then moaning about lack of light and Geoff decapitating himself on door frames.
My favourite APITS thing is the myriad couples who get very excited about a lemon tree on the property, cue the obligatory quip about putting it in G&T. Do they not realise you can buy a lemon tree and grow it on another property?
I get very frustrated with all the buyers in Spain with sub 100k budgets who when asked what Jasmine or Johnny can do to improve on the first or second property they’ve dismissed, say a sea view/pool/second bedroom! Do they do no research at all?
However I have a real soft spot for the ladies on APITS who look like they’ve been through the wringer a bit, with tiny budgets, often accompanied by a best friend, who weep with joy over every micro flat with a tiny balcony looking onto a neighbouring wall. I hope they find similarly glass-half-full friends there to enjoy their sun and sangria filled sunset years.

Ooh! Something that drives me mad on ALL property programs is when they have a budget of 150k, view a house at 140k, wife weeps, he loves it, they are going to put in an offer: “We’ll go in at 95k please Johnny” after a brief flurry of phone calls the sellers’ final price is 125k - and they walk away from it?!!!
I mean WTF? Was their budget 140k or wasn’t it?
Also people making offers based on asking price minus the cost of all the random, non-essential work they’d want to do. It might be a consideration for them, but they state it as though it’s market value: “It’s just not worth it taking account the fact we’d have to build a kiln AND install a panic room resistant to a blast of up to 2 megatons”

" "We want to live in the countryside but not near cows. Or sheep. Or a field of crops because of pesticides, but I don't want to be too far from shops. Or major transport links or the West End theatre, because Terry and I are extremely cultural, and we want a six-bedroom character property, ideally haunted but by a benign spirit possibly an old lady of some kind, with a traditional roof but not thatch in case there's rats in it, and quite near a church but not next to an actual churchyard because spooky and also because we don't want to be driven insane with church bells once a week. And the kitchen has to be cosy with an Aga but also big enough to entertain upwards of thirty people for when we become lynchpins of the local amateur dramatic society, and with a feature cider press and room for chickens in the garden which we probably won't have in case there are foxes nearby and we're caught between a desire to protect our livestock as boutique farmers, but also our respect for the natural animal kingdom rights of the local foxes. Oh, and it has to have a garden big enough for a ride-on mower and a stag.'

[sadface voiceover] Terry and Pauline have a budget of £1.3million and they are unable to find anything at all west of Cheltenham."

I think they need to try Midsomer...

Oh, I would do bad things to Alistair Appleton.

Orangeteddy that was it! Why they had to sit in the garden in the rain I have no idea. Forgot the bit about living in the house for a day as a trial.

When they see a bucolic view through the window and exclaim "oh we'd spend all day looking at that". Trust me, you wouldn't. After 5 mins you'd get bored and be flicking through Netflix.

Hahahaha, I am over all property programmes now; used to watch ETTC avidly and HUTH but NO MORE!
I went cold turkey and am clean now! 😁

I do like Alastair Appleton, he's lurvely 😍 the rest I'm just 'meh' about. Except for Catherine Gee, I cannot abide her. Fake, fake, FAKE and simpering. Urgh.

Does anyone remember the one with the two men where one of them refused to even go in to the house? Alistair tore him off a strip IIRC.
And the classic with the mum and son in Spain looking for her dream house.
Found the perfect one, son offered 50k under the asking price and was predictably told to bugger off.
Came back to UK and he was so arrogant. Insisted that they would come crawling back after he let them stew for a while.

The house sold for the asking price a day later.....
Would have loved to be in on the next mother/ son conversation.

I love ETTC - I live overseas and regularly watch it out of homesickness.

But my god, the couples are often so utterly lacking in personality. Do they not screen them before choosing them?!

The thing which really gets me is at the end, when they make them sit in front of a cup of tea, or worse, scones or cake and tea and they’re clearly forbidden from touching them! Torture!

I love these programs. I often say to dh when we are older I’m moving closer to railway station & shops. If I had all that fish I’d want a pad in central London. Marylebone I think. I can dream

I always reckon that when they have an offer accepted, or say they’re going to make an offer, there’ll be a bit at the end that says “Unfortunately, Mary and John decided against going ahead with the purchase/were unable to sell their own property/ decided they’d rather live in a completely different place”.

Another fan here. Also love Coast v Country as there are 6 houses to drool over per episode!

What I loathe, and what literally makes me seethe until I'm red in the face, is when they put a CF offer in based on 'We would need a new kitchen' or whatever.

Er... the house is valued as it is. By all means make an offer but you can't knock 50k off because you hate the (usually very decent) kitchen. Cheeky fucking bastards.

Also hate them slagging off the style. That's someone's HOME!

And the hand holding and wife corralling.

And the general sneering.

And the 'Entertaining'. 'We have 84 grandchildren to get around the table at Christmas!'. Fuck off.

'Oh look Ken, A WOOD BURNER!!'
'Oh Deirdre, it's what you've always wanted'. KILL ME NOW

I need a lie down now

I love it, but it really annoys me when the presenters show them something well over what they have said their maximum budget is. Like 'only kidding, we have an extra £20,000 squirrelled away'.

I love escape to the country- and similar shows, because I don’t (and won’t) ever be able to have a home of my own I sort of enjoy fantasising looking at nice houses on the TV. (Then I get even more depressed about my situation and eat half a pack of biscuits to feel better)

My all time favourite episode was a few years back, possibly the first series, where Catherine Gee took a family round some beautiful period properties. They hated all the period features and were more interested in what they could remove to modernise it and most importantly install a bar. You could tell that Ms Gee was not impressed.

I think I know the one you are talking about. There was one gorgeous house and they said that they would rip out the most amazing staircase. Shocking - I really hope they didn't buy it. The house was in Wales, or the people were Welsh - can't quite remember now

I love Alistair and Jules and Johnny.

'On today's episode, we have David and Sally. David is a cleaner and Sally collects particles of dust in jars for a living. Their budget is £900,000'

My all time favourite episode was a few years back, possibly the first series, where Catherine Gee took a family round some beautiful period properties. They hated all the period features and were more interested in what they could remove to modernise it and most importantly install a bar. You could tell that Ms Gee was not impressed.
And squirrellspatchcock
I really want to know what this episode was!!

Was better when they showed four houses including the mystery house rather than three. Unfortunately I'm not keen on any of the female presenters and I get seriously pissed off when they present a house that is way over the budget.

@Tee and @Horse You do know Alistair is gay? Sorry to disappoint you.

Alistair is gorgeous. Jules needs to puts his collar(s) down. That is all.

i love it, I do FF the non house stuff though,
what annoys me is when they insist it must be rural, no other houses near by (then get shown a semi in a village!) no roads or traffic.
yet they want to be able to commute to london or another big place.

There was a lovely episode in Scottish borders yesterday. Alistair was sublime as usual and really seemed to warm to the buyers who actually bought a house!

Totally agree about APITS when they put an offer in but then walk away despite the final asking price being well below their alleged budget. You can see the presenter's scorn. Tyre kickers.

@ShatnersWig - I know he's gay but he's still gorgeous!!

"Shall we have a look at it then?"

No, let's not bother. We are not here to look at houses, after all