Does anyone else share my guilty pleasure ... watching Escape to the Country

[IamtheMistressofmyFate]

I always fast forward over the presenters trying out worthy pastimes or learning a local trade like sheep tickling.

I cringe when the couples are being introduced to us and they've been instructed to look at each other and smile and the camera lingers for too long.

And I wince when the retired couple want a large house so their grown up children can come and stay over Christmas - don't these people read all the AIBU threads where posters loathe visiting family over Xmas?

'Ooooh look at the BEEEAAAAAMMSSSSS'

Enough with the beams ffs lol

The houses they show have had £££ spent on them and are beautiful then the couples sniff at them. So rude.

I once saw some property programme where one half of a couple looks at houses and chooses one for them both, one dozy female carried a cream pan around with her because the kitchen had to match this cheap looking pan!
When we were looking to move we saw on a TV programme a couple of places we had looked at being sold as holiday homes, though 'a bit small dahling', put our budget into perspective.

plus “a crash-pad in the city” for the bloke.

aka shag pad and ultimately home when they divorce as their lifestyles are incompatible.

When they picture themselves doing their predictably m/f hobbies too - Pauline says "the kitchen is my domain - and this little room can be my craft room" meanwhile Terry is eyeing up the outbuildings for his vintage car restoration/golf clubs.

The fact that I enjoy the traditionally female pursuits of cooking and crafts whilst DH would rather pootle around with his bikes in the garage is beside the point. I want to see the woman sizing up a garage for her collection of welding equipment and the man wondering if the spare room will hold his fabric stash.

YY Swizzels, I always thought that. What is the point of having a mega house in the country if one half of the couple has to live in a broom cupboard most of the week in order to hold down the city job that pays for it?

They are definitely shag pads. You can sometimes see the bloke’s Don Draper dreams shatter before his eyes when he realises that £400k in central London gets you a dark airing cupboard with a built-in shower.

Several things about ETTC (guilty pleasure here too!)

1. Massive garden required-why, you're getting old!
2. Has to suit the dogs/kids/grandkids? Kids and grandkids is sort of ok but dogs? When they pay the bills, they can have a say.
3. Why such big houses if they're downsizing?
4. Why do they cry when they see a nice house that they like? Never cried over a house in my life!
5. Absolutely guaranteed not to buy anything if my husband is in the room, even if he's asleep. He never believes me that anyone ever buys anything, as it's always happened when he's not here.

Always watch it tho.

The thing is, there's usually a reason the 6-bed, timber-framed, three-bay garaged, landscaped 'mystery house' is on the market for a bargain £350k, and - unbeknownst to the junior researcher scanning Rightmove for likely properties - it's because the farmer up the valley has finally had planning permission granted for a humungous intensive poultry unit on the other side of the hedge.

This is why no one locally will touch The Old Rectory with a bargepole and also why the current owners are pressing handfuls of tenners into Alastair Appleton's hands as he shows Pauline and Terry around the outdoor swimming pool and bespoke firepit.

I also love the way the couple have to virtually sit on each other's laps in the bag of the people carrier so they and Alistair/Aled/whoever driving can all appear in shot.

*back

On Grand Designs, the woman always get pregnant to add to the brood of mop haired, rosy cheeked children playing amongst the rubble and death trap machinery of a permanent building site

I like Nicki Pop Idol. I wonder if she ever regrets leaving her glamorous record company job to show beige people round houses and have a go at mind-numbing crafts. Or stand in front of a green screen pretending to be in Australia for Wanted Down Under.

At least when Nadia Sawalha did WDO she actually went down under. NPI just stands in a dress in the wind somewhere worrying over whether the free loading family (who just went for a holiday) will get enough of the 'outdoor lifestyle they so desperately want'.

I've actually started to get a bit bored of it.

The people all want the same things (large, open plan living area / garden to grow their own veg / to be part of a community) and inside all the houses look the same??? It's boring.

I like Nicki Pop idol too.
I don't like her pink and purple patchwork leather long mac that she seems so fond of (ETTC not WDU)

I also hate the hand holding and the steering. i also hate it when high budget couples are shown a glorious house and they come out with a trivial reason why it’s not good enough. But most of all i hate it when they try and sound posh and say “it wouldn’t work for ASS”

I love ETTC. DH and I play ETTC bingo:

• A big kitchen
• Holiday lets
• Space for alpacas

It’s one of my favourite programmes. What gets me is the bit at the end where they ask for new victims and they say ‘Do you want to ETTC in England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland?’ Why don’t they just say in the UK?

As for WDO it’s the horror when they see how expensive the houses are in Australia... surely they had internet access and did a bit of research ? And the grocery comparison....”ooh Bananas are eight quid” well surely you’d do without or buy appropriately for the season/budget....tsssk

Sparklingbrook I think it’s ‘To Buy or Not to Buy’ you’re thinking of where the presenters sat in the garden listening in on earphones! Similar concept to ETTC where they were shown 3 houses but then had to ‘road test’ one of the properties by living in it for a short time?

"Claimed and Shamed"!!! I haven't heard of that - sounds like you'd get a lot of DM sad faces on it.

I love how retired couples move somewhere in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from family and friends, and ask for massive entertaining space. How long will it be before they're crying every time they walk through the empty rooms and realise they're nowhere near another human being?

I love it !!!!! Cup of tea goes nice with it too 😊

bit at the end where they ask for new victims

New victims

I love it!

Particularly when the intro bit shows their old/current house as a 1970s/80s semi or detached and they view a kitchen of epic proportions, bigger than the footprint of my house, and declare it to be a 'bit small.'

It does also frustrate me when they give their maximum budget of £500k but they take them to see properties up for sale for £600k because the owner might be up for a bit of negotiation. My question would be 'why?' Is HS2 coming through? Fracking? Humongous housing estate about to be built on the fields opposite?

And they show older couples, looking for a retirement forever home a house with a shit load of levels and steps inside and a terraced steep garden that only a Sherpa could manage and a particularly tricky spiral staircase up to the bedroom and bathroom. Do any of the researchers on this programme have elderly parents or grandparents?

My all time favourite episode was a few years back, possibly the first series, where Catherine Gee took a family round some beautiful period properties. They hated all the period features and were more interested in what they could remove to modernise it and most importantly install a bar. You could tell that Ms Gee was not impressed.

Love ETTC, but not as much as my golden retriever does. He recognizes the music and particularly enjoys any episodes with Llamas in😃
Agree with everything said.
It always makes me laugh when the are sniffy about the much larger than average master bedroom and complain it is too small. What are they planning to do in it ffs!
Alastair is my favorite.