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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd two job offers

50 replies

Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:33

Posting here for traffic

I have been a carer to my disabled dd for 14 years. Things have improved with her and now I can go back to work as she is more independant eg can get the bus on her own to college. She is 18.

Now my dilemma. I have had two job offers and both for well know retail stores both pt 16 hour shifts. Let's call them store 1 and store 2. Store 1 is three evenings a week and one weekend afternoon. They fitted this around my care needs for dd.
Store 2 is day shifts same 16 hours and bit better pay. Store 2 is 7.30am starts which I can do but dd would have to get herself to the bus stop herself and lock the front door.
I'm worried she cannot do it and be late for college etc. Dd said she can lock the house up and catch her bus.

I personally want store 2 as much better for us.
I'm worried if I go to the manager and say I cannot start till 8.30am four days a week and rest I can start anytime. Finish times are OK as dd can let herself in. I have taught her to lock the front door. But she gets Into something she forgets the time and could miss her bus which are a hourly service.

Sorry for long post wwyd store 1 or 2

OP posts:
TheMamaG · 30/10/2018 06:36

I’d speak to Store 2 and be really honest about the situation - they may have a working carers policy which encourages them to be flexible.

If they insist on the hours, I think you need to go with Store 1 as you’ll fret all day otherwise.

Devilishpyjamas · 30/10/2018 06:40

Store 1. (Also a carer). Willingness to be flexible worth so much for carers.

Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:43

Thankyou for your reply. I will fret due to anxiety and store 1 were very fair In sorting hours out for me and I know many staff there and feel a better environment for me. My start date is next week with store 1

OP posts:
Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:46

Store 1 are great for carers as long as I let them know in advance they can change shifts for me. Store 1 is a food store and store 2 more a general store eg paint etc

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 30/10/2018 06:47

I would go with store one as it will lessen your anxiety about your daughter.

PaintingOwls · 30/10/2018 06:48

How much better is the pay?

I'm inclined to go with store 1.

LittleBookofCalm · 30/10/2018 06:51

You know 18 year olds, they are often late and in a hurry

Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:52

About 30p more store 2 and weekly pay which helps in my wait for universal credit

OP posts:
Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:53

Yep I know but dd is not a typical 18 year old.

OP posts:
LittleBookofCalm · 30/10/2018 06:54

OTOH it is college so more flexible for your dd.
would you prefer the responsibility?
And it leaves your evenings free.
can you change the door so it just needs slamming behind you?

LittleBookofCalm · 30/10/2018 06:54

sorry, would your dd like the responsibility of locking up?

Ragwort · 30/10/2018 06:55

I would go with Store 1 & then as your DD becomes more independent you could consider moving, good retail employees will always be able to change jobs.

Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:59

I think college would be more flexible so can ask them next week. Dd said for me to trust her more which I do but she has tendancy to panic and gets really upset. She was even left alone over night with me having surgery back in August and done very well. She had carers coming in tho.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/10/2018 07:03

Given the stress and relative newness start with 1 and then review after a year or so x

Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 07:55

Thankyou everyone for your feedback I'll ring store manager of store 1 and tell her about the start times... Will update post later

OP posts:
Original poster
Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 22:16

Update... I rang store manager off store 2 but was not in today but had a phone call from store 1 with my hours and days which fits in nicely.

I was thinking that with store 1 it would work better for me n dd. I can still do all my caring duties nicely and hospital appointments. Also if she gets sent home I'll from college I'm there to take care of her. But I do work Saturday evening and Sunday afternoon only four hours on each and just two evenings a week. This is also a permanent shift pattern and never changes so I know where I am. Mon wed and Fri off so all in all store 1 is the better option.

Thanks for everyone's input and helping me with this

OP posts:
WereAllBladesArentWe · 30/10/2018 22:20

Good luck with your new job OP! Star

Devilishpyjamas · 31/10/2018 06:05

Good luck OP :)

theonetowalkinthesun · 31/10/2018 07:04

Happy you managed to sort it out OP, good luck with your new job and well done on the job offers in the first place 🌻

Original poster
Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:00

Not happy store 1 want to put me on a 6-10pm shift even tho I can't drive and wouldn't be home till, 11pm and both sat n Sunday... Store 2 still want me tho

OP posts:
MissWimpyDimple · 04/11/2018 07:08

Is that different from what they offered in the first place? Retail can be pretty brutal shift wise.

Did you ever speak to store 2 about starting a little later?

Original poster
Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:20

Yes store 2 said no due to only wanting flex able people but dd said she can do the door as tested her a few times. Store 1 was 5-9pm, 3 evenings a week and Sunday and now changed it to two evenings and sat and Sunday with them telling me just one weekend day to be worked

OP posts:
Original poster
Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:22

Plus as I don't drive and no buses at 10pm at night my only option is walk or cab

OP posts:
flumpybear · 04/11/2018 07:25

Store 2 in Think - store 1 have blown it by changing their mind already

Your front door will be fine, it'll give your DD a bit of responsibility - her going to college may be a good one to give her a few small extras - worst case scenario you have to leave your job, or better still change the lock of the door so it's better for your DD - perhaps there are grants available to do this?

flumpybear · 04/11/2018 07:26

Walking is dangerous that time of night - now far is it? Do they offer a taxi for employees or car share?

Taxi would mean you pretty much worked hours just to get home - rubbish!

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