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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wwyd two job offers

50 replies

Darkestnight · 30/10/2018 06:33

Posting here for traffic

I have been a carer to my disabled dd for 14 years. Things have improved with her and now I can go back to work as she is more independant eg can get the bus on her own to college. She is 18.

Now my dilemma. I have had two job offers and both for well know retail stores both pt 16 hour shifts. Let's call them store 1 and store 2. Store 1 is three evenings a week and one weekend afternoon. They fitted this around my care needs for dd.
Store 2 is day shifts same 16 hours and bit better pay. Store 2 is 7.30am starts which I can do but dd would have to get herself to the bus stop herself and lock the front door.
I'm worried she cannot do it and be late for college etc. Dd said she can lock the house up and catch her bus.

I personally want store 2 as much better for us.
I'm worried if I go to the manager and say I cannot start till 8.30am four days a week and rest I can start anytime. Finish times are OK as dd can let herself in. I have taught her to lock the front door. But she gets Into something she forgets the time and could miss her bus which are a hourly service.

Sorry for long post wwyd store 1 or 2

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Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:30

Thankyou store two looks better and days but no evenings as the store shuts at 6pm.
My house has two entrances back door which is at the side and normal front door. The back door is in a shared ally with my neighbour so bit easier for dd as not so hard to pull shut as front door.

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Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:35

Exactly I live around a 45 min walk from store 1 and can't afford taxis. And have to be up at 5.30am to help dd.
But may be my anxiety I'm worried if I turn down store 1 something may happen with store 2. Store 2 have updated my application to hired now so am I right in thinking I would be safe to turn store 1 down today

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Devilishpyjamas · 04/11/2018 07:38

Store 2 then. Both sat & Sun would get tiresome if that’s your main time to see your dd.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/11/2018 07:38

Do you have written confirmation/start date from store 2?

Devilishpyjamas · 04/11/2018 07:39

Is the ‘hired’ the confirmation. I mean?

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:43

It's only been by phone for store 1 and email and phone for store 2. Store 2 I've spoke to more on the phone as the manger processed all the paperwork last week. But my application status on store 2 last week said offer made and now updated to hired. Store 1 start date is next week and store 2 week after.

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Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:44

No written confirmation on either job

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TidaQuel · 04/11/2018 07:45

OP could you get a little alarm or set an alarm on dds phone, if she has one, for the time to leave? Ask your neighbour to check the door for you after dd has left?

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:47

I just want to relax in the knowledge that I can turn store 1 down and have a job to go to a week tuesday

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Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 07:50

Yes can set a alarm for dd no problem and help her get up and ready to leave and also phone her to get out the door for the bus

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Unsure123123 · 04/11/2018 07:53

Store 1 as an initial start back into work. In a few years you may be more confident in something more.

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 09:16

Just rang store 1 told them I can't do shift pattern due to transport issues they ringing me back later today.

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GenericHamster · 04/11/2018 09:20

Now I would do store 2.once a retailer has backed out of promises for certain shifts I wouldn’t trust them again. Once you are employed they will make you do those difficult patterns again and it will be harder to get out of it.

LittleBookofCalm · 04/11/2018 09:27

not fair to ask you to do both saturday and sunday imo

MrsStrowman · 04/11/2018 10:20

I wouldn't trust store 1, they've already changed the plan what's to stop them doing it again? Go with store 2

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 10:22

That's what I thought and being a carer I am limited in the evenings and told them this. It seems its a crap shift and the manager I spoke to said we will see what we can do once manager is in and probably offer me Xmas work which I don't want as was offered permant contract but I'll do store two if they cannot work something out

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Catmum26 · 04/11/2018 10:27

i wouldn’t turn down either until you have something in writing from both to confirm the hours and times. it sounds like a lot of this has been done verbally and you need something in writing.

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/11/2018 10:40

store 2 said no due to only wanting flex able people That would worry me - it doesn't suggest they'd be willing to be flexible in the future if your daughter's needs required it, eg if you wanted to accompany her on a medical appt.

Agree with catmum don't turn down either till you have something in writing.

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 11:02

Store 2 said that for appointments and stuff they will honor them just the start time but I can work around that. Store 1 getting back to me today if they got anything or else I can take seasonal work but store 2 is permanent hours. All contract signing would be done on induction day and I do have two start dates for both.

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ForalltheSaints · 04/11/2018 11:04

Store 2, more interesting work I would think, and your concerns about DD could be allayed by a text message or phone call from her.

LittleBookofCalm · 04/11/2018 11:06

i think you should turn down store 1, i understand you are leaving your options open.
in that case, keep in on the back burner and go for store 2 now you have established dd can go out of the back door, at least there will be no evenigns or weeknds?

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 11:52

Tbh I'm getting really bad with my anxiety with all this and just trying to get a normal job. Store 2 is much friendlier in terms off day work pay etc but store 1 I really do like. Hopefully today store 1 comes up with something better... Fingers crossed

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TSSDNCOP · 04/11/2018 12:00

OP retail is shit, theyll use the old “fully flexible” nonsense as and when it suits. Been there, got the hat.

Go with the store that CANNOT make you work past a certain time because they’re closed. Let DD do the locking up thing; she clearly relishes the chance at more responsibility.

Start looking for a non-retail job as soon as you can. Some people love retail, and I’d agree all the time it suits you it’s fine. But they will bleed you white.

user1485816612 · 04/11/2018 12:09

Especially coming up to Christmas, in retail you might find that you are “offered” a lot of extra hours - what being “offered” hours really means is pressure to take on multiple extra shifts and being told you are not a team player if you refuse.

You might also find they pull up the flexibility clause in your contract when you say you can’t work - in my experience a small 16 hour retail contract can see you working anywhere from 16 hours a week to 45 hours plus, it really is just a baseline and the lower number is only used in quiet times. When I was in retail it was a ten hour contract and I worked 35 plus hours every week except for when they got annoyed at a shift refusal and then the hours were cut drastically to baseline for a couple of weeks until you were begging for more - basically as punishment.

Be very careful that you don’t fall into that trap, make sure you sign something confirming your availability and only put yourself down for what you genuinely can work. You have that to fall back on if they get iffy then. It is a good start back into the world of work, but like a previous poster said, in retail they will work you for everything they can get.

Original poster

Darkestnight · 04/11/2018 15:24

Yep I agree retail is crap but I don't have to do it forever but forget store 1 as only got 12 hour Xmas jobs available so I'll take store 2 and finish this dilemma at last.

Thanks everyone for your input and help

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