To not want to change the date of my wedding?

[kiwikovi]

Hi all,
Long story short: we've just told my (soon to be) father-in-law that we are getting married in April 2019 and it turns out his wife and him have bought tickets to go on a (4 day) minibreak to Turkey exactly when the wedding will be. They have spent 300 Euros on the tickets which are nonrefundable and cannot be changed in any way.
They don't want to lose the money, so I have told him it is not a problem if they cannot make it to the wedding (imagine very low-key, almost just a dinner). Just for info, they got married a few years ago while we were away from the country for 3 months.
He has now asked me if we would consider changing the date of the wedding. Nothing has been fully booked yet, but the date is special to us. Am I being unreasonable to not want to change the date?
(Well that was not short at all! Sorry )

Cannot imagine our (fairly recent) wedding without my in laws there! YABU

Would you change the date if it was your own father who couldn't attend?

Everything else aside, you really don't need to get married on a special date, it will forever be your wedding date and will become special in its own right.

Don’t change the date.

Give them the benefit of not having realised it’s your anniversary date when they asked you if you could change, and explain that’s why you won’t be changing the date.

If his Dad doesn't think it’s worth losing €300 to be at his son’s wedding then it’s clearly not very important to him that he’s there, so why should you change the day when it’s important to you?

IF it was something else important to them, like one of her children’s wedding days I’d change it, or possibly something they’d spent a lot of money on, but not for a holiday for €300.

Most couples have different dates for the dates they met and the date that they got married. I'd change the date so the ILs could attend and enjoy two anniversaries a year

If you are in the UK, and PIL elsewhere in the EU (hence paying €300, rather than £300), and you're getting married just after Brexit day, there's a chance they won't be able to get into the country to attend your wedding anyway... in the event of a no-deal situation. Stick with the date.

Why are people saying he can’t be there - of course he can. It’s €300 not a life saving operation. If wants to be at his sons wedding he can be.

If it isn’t worth forgoing a €300 holiday, it’s clearly not that important for him to be there ‍🤷🏻‍♀️

Why not go back to your original beach plan as pp have said- may be easier in the long run!

If they call the hotel/airline/holiday company there's a good chance they can change the date for a fee - it's months away, unreasonable of them to even suggest you changing date

I’m with others - why didn’t you check date availability with key people sooner, especially if you had your heart set on a specific date?

Your entire family setup is bizarre. Why did your mum know the date over a month ago but your fiancé only just told his dad recently?

And why is your fiancé “bored of wedding planning” when it appears all he needed to do was think about dates and telling his own family? I get not giving a shit about matching cream to ivory for the napkins but basic stuff like dates and telling family?!?

Alternatively...how do you feel about getting married in Turkey?

🤣😂

300 Euros? Wow. Holiday of a lifetime is it?! Keep your date. By all means offer them some travel costs or something if it makes you feel better but don't change the date.

"Alternatively...how do you feel about getting married in Turkey?"

Hmmm

"Your entire family setup is bizarre. Why did your mum know the date over a month ago but your fiancé only just told his dad recently?"

I wouldn't go as far as bizarre My mum is helping with liaising with venues as the wedding will be abroad... That's all.

I’m with others - why didn’t you check date availability with key people sooner, especially if you had your heart set on a specific date?

OP has already explained she is not fussed if people can't make it as it was originally just going to be her and her fiancé at the wedding anyway.

I think YABU and you should change the date. I think it’s rather flippant and callous that you don’t even care if your future family will be there.

Yeah, the “great if you can make it, if not fine” attitude works for most guests, but not immediate family. Barring any abuse, you should want your future husbands family to be there and try to make that happen.

And if your DP is so pissed off with the wedding that he won’t even tell his own parents the date, I don’t think you should be getting married at all.

Ffs, people are getting more and more entitled! No, OP, don't change it. This is ridiculous. If they want to attend, they will.