To want to be sterilised young?

[youcandanceonstone]

I'm 21. I never want to be pregnant again. I also do not wish to put my DH through any abortion process since I know that will be what I will do if any accidental pregnancies through contraception failure. It would be incredibly hard for him.

He won't have the snip. I can't insist reasonably since I'm the one making the final decision of no more pregnancies.

If the NHS won't do it, can I arrange it privately? Or will the outcome be the same?

Many thanks for any input 

Why not just use contraception like the pill, condoms or implant which always offer you the chance to get pregnant if in the future you change your mind? I doubt many doctors on the NHS will agree to sterilisation

Do you have any children? I don't think even privately you'd be able to be sterilised at your age either.

What's making you feel so strongly?

An old friend was sterilised when she was 24, no problems with nhs doing it. But she had 2 children by 22, was a lone parent and had an abortion age 23 which dr’s would have taken into consideration.

I'm fairly certain the NHS won't do it, that's why I was wondering about private.

I have fallen pregnant on the pill before, taking carefully, with lots of caution. I have recently fallen pregnant on the coil too! What a shocker that was.

I am so done with contraception. Twice it has failed me. I'm so done with all the side effects and everything else.

I just want done with it. I can't see why I should constantly endure all these reproductive issues when I will never be continuing a pregnancy, ever again.

Good luck OP. You’re going to come up against a massive wall of misogyny in the health service. You’ll be told you’re too young to be certain that you don’t want kids. I had to wait until I was 37 and I had endometriosis.

The only concern I would have is the fact that it can have a really a negative effect on your health. You will increase the risk of osteoporosis and need to be on hrt for years, which also carry risks.

I think you'll struggle to get it on the nhs.
A lot of people have to fight for it even when it's to stop chronic pain.

I think getting the pill or an implant and using condoms for added security will be a more realistic option.

I'm more than happy to pay private if NHS really can't do it.

I have one DC.

I asked recently, I'm pre-30 and done with having babies, cannot have it on NHS however, DH can have vasectomy on NHS (it's less invasive and less chance of it not working compared to women's) I haven't tried privately, but was informed it was £2000+ by someone, not sure how true that is...

It costs anywhere between about £2k-£3.5k depending on location and provider.

But you might want to think about whether this is the right choice for you. Because the failure rate for female sterilisation is 1:200 (over 10 yeqrs) whereas for mirena it is 1:2000 (source:FPA)

I had my tubes tied at 27 on nhs I asked my GPS she referred me to obgyn . Saw the consultant on the Friday had keyhole surgery on the Tuesday.
Never regretted it even after 10+ years.
Also ppl who said that you'd need to be on hrt and at an increased risk of osteoporosis is mistaken that is only true if you have your ovaries removed. Which is not part of female sterilisation.

I started asking my GP at 24, finally got it on the NHS at 28, and that was 15 years ago when budgets weren't quite as tight - I think to have any chance of getting it done at 21, you'll need to look at going private.

YANBU wanting to be sterilised
YABU expecting the NHS to pay for sucj a procedure atvyour age.

Pay for the procedure yourself. Job done.

Your DH has to man up and get the snip. Compared to female stérilisation it is a simple, painless process, with no long term health problems.

Like you said contraception fails so I can never understand why the NHS won't allow women to be sterilized when they absolutely know they do not want anymore children. Hopefully you will get a private hospital to do it for you OP. You could he your dp that you have fallen pregnant twice on contraception now and if he refuses to get the snip there will just be no more sex. If you feel that strongly about it.

@NickyNora

The OP knows the NHS won't do it, sh3 is asking if anyone knows if she can go private, and she is willing to pay for it herself. Obviously you chose to ignore that part though.

Your DH has to man up and get the snip. Compared to female stérilisation it is a simple, painless process, with no long term health problems.

I completely disagree. If he would still want kids in certain circumstances (i.e. if the op were to leave him in the future or, god forbid, get hit by a bus etc and he remarry) it's completely unfair to expect him to do this just because the op doesn't want more kids.

The only concern I would have is the fact that it can have a really a negative effect on your health. You will increase the risk of osteoporosis and need to be on hrt for years, which also carry risks

This is not true. Female sterilisation does not affect your hormones, periods or bones in any way. They will just pop a clip on your Fallopian tubes. You will be sore for a few days but it’s worth it.

I had mine done for the same reasons as you. I couldn’t trust contraception. I actually had it reversed years later no problems but after I had my baby I ended up with another unplanned baby

So sometimes contraception is just not reliable enough.

I had it done mid twenties and never regretted it. (Grandparent now!) I think it is totally understandable but you have to have it done just for you at that age- I don’t think it can be a couple thing because you have no idea what the future may hold - you can only decide for yourself that, no matter what, you personally will never want to have another child.

I had it done, age 28. Worst mistake of my life.

Goat may I ask where you had it reversed?

@thatstheendofmytether

Op doesn't know if the NHS will fund a sterilisation. She makes that clear in her post at 12.03...

@ Puddingmama201 Yes I got it reversed with Dr Pickles in Nottingham. He is the UK’s expert and his clinic is the best place for reversal with a 75 % success rate.

Can I ask do you regret it for health reasons or because you want more children?

Standard female sterilisation is not a magical failure free procedure. It’s pretty good, but it is not gold standard for reliability like Mirena. In your position I’d be going for something that’s as reliable as possible (ie not just female sterilisation) and also reversible if I did change my mind, because humans are human and sometimes we do change.

DOH! Ignore my previous comment regarding health implications. For some reason I was thinking you wanted a hysterectomy. 😳

You can do it privately, but sterilisation has a higher failure rate than the implant or coil so you might want to consider one of those.