To want to be sterilised young?

[youcandanceonstone]

I'm 21. I never want to be pregnant again. I also do not wish to put my DH through any abortion process since I know that will be what I will do if any accidental pregnancies through contraception failure. It would be incredibly hard for him.

He won't have the snip. I can't insist reasonably since I'm the one making the final decision of no more pregnancies.

If the NHS won't do it, can I arrange it privately? Or will the outcome be the same?

Many thanks for any input 

You’re going to come up against a massive wall of misogyny in the health service. You’ll be told you’re too young to be certain that you don’t want kids. I had to wait until I was 37

This. I want one to access other treatment.

I’ve been trying since I was 34. I’m nowhere near as I’m “too young” and “might meet a man a change my mind” (yes, those are actual quotes)

YANBU to want one OP - you have very good reason.

your life go ahead

Is there a private hospital in your area? Maybe you could give them a call and ask how you'd go about seeing a private gynaecologist.

I’d just like to point out that the mirena can only be effective if it stays in.

I’ve lost three within 1-4 weeks of insertion and the GP won’t entertain any more.

The failure rate is 1 in 1000 not one in 200.

The 1 in 200 rate is if the operation itself fails. I.e the clips are not put on correctly. That’s why it’s probably better to go privately so you can select the expertise of the surgeon.

Done correctly it’s over 99% effective.

Even a hysterectomy they leave your ovaries if you are young.

Your DH has to man up and get the snip. Compared to female stérilisation it is a simple, painless process, with no long term health problems.

You think a (presumably) young man should permanently remove his fertility because his wife has decided she doesn't want any more children? He 'has' to have a vasectomy, despite it sounding like he would be open to having more children in the future? Does 'your body your choice' not apply to men? The NHS website states that 'you should only have a vasectomy if you're certain you don't want any more children or don't want children at all'.

Goat I regret it because I would dearly love another child. I got pushed into it before my c-section and had it done during. I regretted it the second it was done and 18 months later (and a new DP) I realise that it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. As an aside it has left me with a lot of abdominal pain on one side (other causes ruled out) but I guess I could cope with that if I still was happy with the decision. Thank you so much for the recommendation.

pudding , the sooner after sterilisation you reverse it the better the chances. If you had clips as opposed to cutting or cauterising (clips is the most likely these days) then the chance is greater still. I was sterilised for nearly 7 years and in my late 30’s and had 2 children post reversal. There is hope. Best of luck.

That meant to read ‘late thirties when had the reversal’ as I was 30 when I had it done.

Mine was cutting. I had my GP check my hospital notes to make sure. We’re aiming to try and get the money together to reverse it in the next year or so. Thank you so much!

DHs GP doesn't even want him to have the snip because of my age!

(YANBU I would have it done if I could too!)

This drives me mad because my OB/GYN talked me out of being sterilised at 34. I wanted to get it done right after my second DC was born (apparently it's a good time for sterilisation right after giving birth). I would've been paying for it regardless over here.

She kept saying I might change my mind and I knew I wouldn't. I really wish I'd insisted as I had all sorts of problems with the coil afterwards.

I think you'll have to save up and pay for it, OP.

@puddingmama201

I had mine reversed with Dr Pickles in Nottingham too he’s amazing. I was pregnant 3 weeks after the reversal. Know many others too who are successful after an op with him

You cannot possibly know how you will feel in say 15 years time. You may feel exactly the same you may not.
The nhs are correct to not fund female sterilisation for young people unless they have a physical need.

I was sterilised aged 30 and had reversal at 35

Had it done at 27 and never regretted it

I had it done in my mid 30s and have never regretted it for a moment (I'm 70). Very little pain, two tiny incisions that didn't even need stitches (unlike my two forceps deliveries..!) and no worries about accidental pregnancy ever again..! Best thing that I ever did.

Our local NHS trust won't fund any female sterilisations now, only vasectomies.