DH can't feed himself

[BengalLioness]

So DH got home from footy this afternoon with a limp. He's done something to his ankle whilst playing/kicking someone or whatever.

So he drove home , climbed up two flights of stairs and then watched some footy for a couple of hours.

He then decided to go to his Gym and visit the spa there as he's been told it'll be good for his muscles to go in the sauna/steam room. So he drove there , drove back and climbed the steps to our flat.

He then asked if I could warm up the food he wanted to eat for dinner that I had cooked. I did that. He then asked if I could plate it all up and bring it to him at the dinner table , while he had his feet up and staring at his phone , not looking like he was in much pain.

I said no I won't be serving him his food as well, he could do that himself. He then said his ankle was hurting too much (although he was generally walking around our flat and going to the loo etc without screaming in agony or anything). I have started to get DS ready for bed and thought he could manage the 5 steps from kitchen to dining table as I had warmed it up for him and left it there for him to serve himself.

He said I was BU and I apparently have no empathy for him and the pain that he is in. I am not a "normal" wife apparently. I can see that he's managing fine walking about the whole house , coming back from footy, going to the gym etc. AIBU by simply asking for him to put food on his plate and carry it back to the living room ?!



He's taking the piss. Yanbu.

Did he do the 'poorly voice' when he was asking you?

Not at all.

If he'd come straight home, laid on the sofa and rested it with painkillers and ice and all the things you should do if you've really hurt your ankle/gone for an x-ray.. fair enough, I'd have plated food and brought it to him. However he is clearly not in a lot of pain after being able to do all he has, therefore he can do it himself!

He might have to starve, poor boy!

Exactly as Barry said - if he'd come home immediately, laid on the sofa with ice or gone for an x-ray then yes I would cook and plate his dinner. Going to the gym, driving, walking around with relative ease - no I wouldn't.

If he does the poorly voice you’re legally allowed to kill him.

I hope you just laughed at him?

It appears you have two children, not one.

Can he still catch?

So while he was doing all this playing football, watching football and going to the gym who was looking after the DC?

Oh, would that be you? Were you at home looking after DC, making dinner etc?

Get him his dinner and then inform him that next Sunday you are going out for the day. He will need to look after DC and make your dinner, especially as you twisted your ankle while shopping?

Op you sound like inadequate wife.
I urge you to buy this book and mend your ways
www.amazon.co.uk/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands-Successful/dp/0007194498/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ref=plSrch&keywords=the+proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands&dpPl=1&dpID=51GJA16GWKL&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1540753359&sr=8-1

Ignore him. If he’d hurt his ankle he wouldn’t be driving, going to the gym, climbing stairs and generally dicking around.

Tell him that you have more than enough empathy to understand that he is putting it on because he is too lazy to do it himself/likes being babied/gets off on the idea of having his wifey serve him his dinner

Good for you to not pandering to him

If he'd come home immediately and struggled to walk etc I'd have sympathy/help him

After everything he's managed, not so much

Crack on matey

He's a useless manchild. I'm married to one of those too. I had friend (with her son) round on Friday morning for coffee. I made a ridiculous quantity of scones and a pot of coffee. Friend, myself, 2 boys and husband (working from home) ate scones. 6 left. I took DS2 out mid morning.We had late lunch out and came back early evening.
Meanwhile DS1 (age 12) came home from school 12ish (early finish for half term)
DH moping around 6 ish yipping he hasn't eaten anything except scones all day and what am I making for dinner? DS2 the 12 year old managed to come home and feed himself but his useless 47 year old father couldn't manage it....grrrrr

daykay have you read the book you linked too? I can't decide if it's a piss take or serious - tempted to buy it just for a laugh 😂

Break his other ankle then say now pop to the gym dear it will be good for you....Lazy F..k. So have you had a day off recently? Think a case of flu maybe in order.

daykay
You may or may not mean this in an ironic way... I know about the book you're referring to but it's a very imbalanced view and not a recipe for a healthy marriage. I want an adult in a relationship (as I suspect OP does too) not another child. Men and women prefer being taken care of; of course, who doesn't? But the 'recipe' for success in that book is very one-sided and will only ever make one of the parties happy (the husband). Life is not an easy cosy cocoon. I want a man who does not need me for anything, because he can stand up on his own two feet - and bloody well feed himself!

Stand your ground OP! He is taking advantage...

I have zero time for a twatty man baby.

I would have read back to him the list of things he seemingly managed to do without any assistance. .... so no, yanbu!

I'd have carried it in for him, OP.

Then dropped it on his lap.

I'm thinking of selling plates with 'Arse' written on them for 'precisely' this kind of scenario.

my DH does this. Even when he's home early he will sit down and wait for me to serve him, I never do and then he will just sit there whinging that he's starving but he won't get up to plate his own food. He thinks because he's been at work I should do it for him even though I work part time and do 90 percent of the housework

Give him a tin of spam if you are feeling generous