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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH can't feed himself

49 replies

BengalLioness · 28/10/2018 18:52

So DH got home from footy this afternoon with a limp. He's done something to his ankle whilst playing/kicking someone or whatever.

So he drove home , climbed up two flights of stairs and then watched some footy for a couple of hours.

He then decided to go to his Gym and visit the spa there as he's been told it'll be good for his muscles to go in the sauna/steam room. So he drove there , drove back and climbed the steps to our flat.

He then asked if I could warm up the food he wanted to eat for dinner that I had cooked. I did that. He then asked if I could plate it all up and bring it to him at the dinner table , while he had his feet up and staring at his phone , not looking like he was in much pain.

I said no I won't be serving him his food as well, he could do that himself. He then said his ankle was hurting too much (although he was generally walking around our flat and going to the loo etc without screaming in agony or anything). I have started to get DS ready for bed and thought he could manage the 5 steps from kitchen to dining table as I had warmed it up for him and left it there for him to serve himself.

He said I was BU and I apparently have no empathy for him and the pain that he is in. I am not a "normal" wife apparently. I can see that he's managing fine walking about the whole house , coming back from footy, going to the gym etc. AIBU by simply asking for him to put food on his plate and carry it back to the living room ?!

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 28/10/2018 19:41

Perhaps you should dial 999 and get him taken to hospital?
ONLY KIDDING Please don't.
Leave his food where it is, I'm sure he will find the strength to get it before it gets cold.
If not, I wait to see his Daily Fail Sad Face - Wife Refused To Look After Man With Appalling Injury. Grin

DayKay · 28/10/2018 19:42

My post was definitely a piss take. I can’t even believe that book exists.

MissConductUS · 28/10/2018 19:42

Not bragging, but DH does all the cooking in our house, so I get to ask him what's on for dinner. Smile

Yours sounds like a spoiled teenager.

MrsStrowman · 28/10/2018 19:44

Give him a tin of spam if you are feeling generous

But no tin opener!

dontalltalkatonce · 28/10/2018 19:45

Ignore! I wouldn't have heated it up for him. He's pretty much left you on your own all day with the kids, too. What a twat.

brizzledrizzle · 28/10/2018 19:46

Or spaghetti with no fork or spoon watch it doesn't slide off the plate when you lovingly deliver it to the invalid

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 28/10/2018 19:50

Bloody hell! When I read the title of your post I was expecting a really sad situation where DH had some form of debilitating illness.
What do I discover?
A fucking cheeky lazy fuck

Mandarine · 28/10/2018 19:52

“Can he still catch?” GrinGrinGrin

Jokes aside. I’m ashamed to say, my DH is one that expects dinner “served” to him at the table most evenings. He doesn’t even bother with the pretence if an injury - he’s been like this for years. To be fair, he does a lot of things for me, but still, your thread made me think. I think you have a good attitude OP and don’t go down a slippery slope with this.

Aria2015 · 28/10/2018 19:59

Not depends. Does he ask you to do stuff like that on a regular basis? If yes, then he's possibly just been lazy but if no, I’d do it if my dh said he was in pain. Only because if it were the other way around i’d want my dh to do it for me. Nothing wrong with taking care of someone if they need it and assuming its not just out of laziness.

MyBrexitIsIll · 28/10/2018 20:03

I have been on the receiving end of my H thinking I was just lazy when I was ill (undiagnosed with ME at the time)
What the OP is describing is nothing of the like.

What she is describing is someone who is milking the fact he has ‘hurt’ himself whilst still been able to do all the things he wants to do. A CF.

PussGirl · 28/10/2018 20:06

My STBXH once commented that he'd like a restaurant-style choice of menu in the evenings, as he didn't always fancy what I'd cooked (from scratch using fresh ingredients). If asked in the morning what he fancied for dinner he would never have any suggestions as it was "too early" to decide.

Once I'd stopped pissing myself laughing in his face, I tried to explain how impossible that would be.

For a couple of weeks, I attempted giving him a choice of menu, based on what I'd already shopped for, but reminded him that once he'd chosen Lasagne & Chicken Kebabs on the first couple of nights, he'd be left with Stir-Fry on the third night or whatever.

Twat. Can't believe I even tried to play along with it anything for a quiet life

GoBigOrange · 28/10/2018 20:07

What a lazy little scrote.

MyBrexitIsIll · 28/10/2018 20:07

And btw, Aria I was asking for help or simply not doing things for a long time. But actually it wasn’t because I was lazy. (See the ME, post above).

So the correlation between ‘asking for help all the time’ and been lazy isn’t always there.
The relationhiso is when someone is expecting someone else to do stuff for them when
1- it’s, as if by chance, something they dont want to do/is boring
2- are totally fine doing a hell of a lot of other things that require the same effort/ability
3- are usual”y getting very arsey about you not doing as they demand (rather than ask for example)

ThistleAmore · 28/10/2018 20:08

I was feeling a bit poorly with a tiny, TINY sniffle the other week, so OH got up, made me breakfast and brought me the good tablet so I could watch Netflix in bed, before going off to play rugby.

He came home, said he had had a bit of a rough tackle and had a bit of a headache...I continued to whine for the rest of the weekend, he waited on me hand and foot.

He ended up leaving work on Monday, visiting A&E and being diagnosed with a mild concussion.

I am a CF with a unicorn. Wink

SaltyPeanut · 28/10/2018 20:15

Mine's got a headache he's had for over two weeks (apparently, first I heard of it was yesterday) without a moment's let up. Dizzy, nauseous blah blah. Hasn't missed a wink of sleep, managed to work in a very loud environment without mentioning the "agony", no problem sitting watching noisy crap tv.

Crucially for someone feeling so "poorly" no problem scoffing a whole box of mince pies and a whole massive packet of biscuits in one day. Greedy fucking cunt. Half those mince pies were mine and he just slunk off in to the kitchen and troughed mine and the biscuits he buys because he knows I can't abide so won't touch. I got myself a 4 pack of cadburys caramels last weekend for a quid, was eking them out but come Friday the bastard was in them too. Budget is tight now the electric has gone up because of the colder weather and can't replace them.

GabsAlot · 28/10/2018 20:17

but aria he went out back tot the gym with a so called bad ankle then came home going upstairs etc

doesnt matter if it was a one off hes being pathetic

PotteryGirl · 28/10/2018 20:21

Oh bless him..as they say, God loves a trier....

He’s probably lucky you didn’t kick his good ankle...🤕

OurMiracle1106 · 28/10/2018 20:24

The correct answer here OP is that he should be nil by mouth if it’s that painful- you know in case he needs to have it operated on!

ElinoristhenewEnid · 28/10/2018 20:26

OP is he wearing the dressing gown of doom?

Candlelights2345 · 28/10/2018 20:27

My DH starved himself one day last week as I didn’t make his packed lunch or his dinner as I was off work ( so didn’t need one) and then I ate out. I was bemused that he couldn’t /wouldn’t prepare his own food (too much trouble) he went slightly huffy and didn’t outright moan about it but he was definitely slightly put out. He went to McDonald’s in the end.

NotTheFordType · 28/10/2018 20:50

"Awww, diddy dumnplings"
would be my go to phrase

PotteryGirl · 28/10/2018 20:59

This thread is hilarious....please thank your fella for cheering me up..😂 ..I HOP he’s on the mend soon..(d’ya see what I did there?)😳

Breakfastofmilk · 28/10/2018 20:59

I'm thinking of selling plates with 'Arse' written on them for 'precisely' this kind of scenario

This is absolute bloody genius. I think I love you @Upstartcrow

BengalLioness · 28/10/2018 21:23

Thank you all for agreeing with me !

It's actually got me laughing at him now- he can be so pathetic sometimes!

He served himself (huffing and puffing) in the end.

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