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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody Christmas and dog drama

42 replies

Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:15

So original plan for Christmas was to go out for lunch with me dd Dm and and partner my Dsis is going with her do to his family. Lunch out was can spend and my house was volunteered for Christmas lunch. Fine whatever.
i have stipulated that I do not want anyones dogs at my house. I do not own dogs or like them. My mum has gone to my sister and said that her dog and my sisters dogs can’t come. This apparently has caused much upset even though I wasn’t aware my sister was coming. She wants to pop in now...which I found out via a massively abusive text saying I’ve ruined Christmas and I’m an embarrassment and I’m a bitch blah blah because I have said no dogs at my house. My sisters dog is massive vicious and me and dd are Terrified of the thing. bil is a tit and winds it up so it bounces of the walls, last year at my mums my sister brought the dog and my mums dog and her dog just fought and terrified my dd. My sister has thrown a strop and said she will not be coming at all without her dog ( even though I wasn’t aware she was coming) in a bid to get me to be emotionally manipulated into allowing the dog. As me and my mum want to see our DN.
mum lives around the corner and my sister lives 15 mums away and both dogs are left when all parties are at work.
I have no idea why my family are so entitled and I’m really pissed of. My sister is a lot younger than me and has now fallen out with me over something I have supposedly said to her friends. I haven’t said anything and feel like telling everyone to f*#! Off

OP posts:
Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:18

Bloody typing is crud sorry

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 28/10/2018 17:19

Then do that. Your house, your rules. Have a fab Christmas with your do and dd

Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:20

My house was volunteered by my dm

OP posts:
overagain · 28/10/2018 17:20

Yanbu, if they don't want to come they can offer their house to host. Honestly,bit ridiculous. You've been nice, you've offered to host, they can either abide by the house rules or decline. No need to make a massive drama out if it!

Quiettiger · 28/10/2018 17:21

It's very simple;

(To your sister and mother) "Fuck off and don't emotionally blackmail me"

"It's a shame you feel like that regarding the dogs, however I'm afraid that I'm not able to cope with them in the house. I would of course love to see you if you are able to leave the dog at home"

You are totally not being unreasonable. FWIW, I hate other peoples dogs coming to my house and I have 3 of my own.

Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:22

Well this is my thoughts. I would never dream to assume my massive pet was coming to someone else’s house for Christmas lunch that I’d invited my self to. I wouldn’t invite my self. And I’d be happy leaving a pet for a day when I do so otherwise when I’m at work.

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 28/10/2018 17:22

Tell her that this is the first you’ve heard of her coming over and that you’d thought she was going to her in-laws. Tell her she is completely welcome to pop over, but that she knows how you feel about dogs in the house and, if it can be left all day while she’s at work, it can be left for an hour on Christmas Day.

Wolfiefan · 28/10/2018 17:25

Nobody else gets to volunteer your house for anything.
Nobody else has the right to force you to have their pets in your home.
If you want to have people round then fine. But make it clear if they can’t leave their pets then they can’t come.

Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:26

I have said this and been told to fuck of.... “and just because she wasn’t coming for lunch can’t she pop in and see her family”. I have no idea where it’s all come from and the madness and drama over an untrained violent dog.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/10/2018 17:27

Anyone who tells you to fuck off most certainly isn’t welcome over Christmas. Problem solved.

Maelstrop · 28/10/2018 17:27

She’s totally unreasonable to assume she’s invited-she’s not. She’s totally unreasonable to think she can bring her dog-she can’t. Why is she creating drama?

Solenti · 28/10/2018 17:27

Love dogs and have two well behaved ones, but NO WAY would I expect anyone else to host them for the day at Christmas. Stick to your guns, YANBU. Fuck off have you "ruined Christmas"- I would say that last year your Christmas was ruined by their animals fighting and terrifying your child and that they can feel free to make their own plans. Then ignore further messages about the subject, it's closed.

MissDemelzaCarne · 28/10/2018 17:28

Don’t really see the problem if she’s so near to you?
My DSis had all our extended family round for Christmas and said we were invited but not the dog so we couldn’t go as it was 70 miles away and we’d be gone all day. I was disappointed (especially as the dog in question was an incredibly docile, well-behaved, elderly Lab) but it has her, or rather BILs’s, choice.

divadee · 28/10/2018 17:29

Ah I feel you. MIL has a hound that must come every time. This year I have put my foot down and said no. It's not going well. This dog sheds hair everywhere. And I mean sheds I do not know how it isn't bald. It's a big dog and we have a small flat. So now MIL is saying she will spend Xmas alone as dog can't come and her dog is her family. Sigh.

I would stick to your guns and say no and of they don't come they don't come. It's horrible having to clean up everywhere and you don't need the hassle especially at Xmas.

Kemer2018 · 28/10/2018 17:29

Yanbu. It's your house.
My fil likes to leave dog at his when he comes for Xmas at ours.
However, being a control freak, he insists on leaving after dinner before pudding for a 2 hour dog walk.
Honestly, for 1 day, a quick poo walk for 10 mins should suffice.
But no, he has to do full change of clothes to walk the dog...only lives 10 minute drive away.
We used to sit with mil waiting but now i ljust say "who's for pudding? " and dish up whilst he's out.
Muppet. It's been 22 years, yes, it's got old

WoahBaby · 28/10/2018 17:30

Dogs and Christmas don't mix. Too many people, too many new smells, the food, the excitement etc. It's much better they stay at home in their normal routine, that's what we do with ours. Plus it's your house your rules! Don't give in, they can't come.

Yogagirl123 · 28/10/2018 17:30

YANBU, I wouldn’t stand for it either. Stick to your guns.

Rockbird · 28/10/2018 17:30

YANBU. Just continue to repeat, would be lovely to see you on Christmas Day. However, I will not be opening up the house to dogs. Please let me know how ASAP many potatoes I should peel.

Leeds2 · 28/10/2018 17:31

Surely she can come round to say hello to her family, and leave the dog at home? If said dog has been with her for most of the day at DP's family, it surely won't be the end of the world.
All you can say is that the dog isn't welcome, and stand firm. I can though imagine her turning up with it anyway, so be prepared!

SusanneLinder · 28/10/2018 17:34

I have 2 dogs and would NEVER presume I could take them to someone's house.
Dogs don't know its bloody Christmas!

Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:35

If the dogs weren’t awful I’d put up with it for a day. But last year bil who’s an absolute cock wound the dog encourages it to eat of the table and jump up and bark. Laughed his head of when I or my dd was terrified of the thing and dd cried cus it jumped at dd. He wants to police train the thing . He’s just a knob and so is the dog. I watched my mums dog for a week and it shay all over my house and dragged it around my cream carpet

OP posts:
Original poster
Chillyegg · 28/10/2018 17:37

*It pooped

OP posts:
Hotfootit · 28/10/2018 17:38

Our dog wasn't welcome at MIL's house the first year we got it
Fine. We went as usual and I left a little early so that I could take the dog for a walk - our choice to get a dog meant it was our responsibility
to deal with it (not theirs).
Thankfully, they have since fallen in love with the dog and she's now welcome.

You are not being unreasonable not to have a dog in your house if you don't want a dog in your house and no one gets to demand they bring a dog to anyone else's home.

ragged · 28/10/2018 17:39

Ur DM needs to volunteer her own house to host the beast.

Solenti · 28/10/2018 17:49

After your update I don't think there is any question that having the dog (and your shitty BIL) for Christmas is out of the question. Don't feel you have to apologise, it's your house and no is the final answer. I would refuse to engage anymore with regards to Christmas. Your mum is invited minus dog. Your sister and BIL are not invited even without dog. If your mum chooses not to come that's up to her. Anyone who told me to fuck off (In a serious way) wouldn't be welcome again.

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