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To expect people to use the nickname I chose?

283 replies

ReiofHope · 28/10/2018 11:43

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’m having a little boy. Since I was a child I’ve loved the name Alexander James using AJ as a nickname. (I’ll admit it started as I loved the Backstreet Boys)
Now 20 on this generation of babies has a James and at least one other child with James as a middle name. So I changed the middle name for my son to jason but still want to call my baby AJ.
Over the last few weeks everyone from my step mum to the children on my partners side have been referring to him as Alex no matter how many times I correct them.

It’s not as if they’ve ever refused to use nicknames before we have an Ollie (oliver) harry (Harrison) Albie (Albert) and Mila (Emelia) so why is it that they’re refusing to use my chosen nickname?

Am I just being an unreasonable bitch to expect people to use a specific short form?

OP posts:
waxy1 · 28/10/2018 11:46

They won’t change.

People who don’t know his other names will probably call him AJ.

He may not like AJ as a name, himself though.

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/10/2018 11:46

Yes, YABU OP. You can't dictate a child's nickname, sorry.Flowers

Sparklingbrook · 28/10/2018 11:48

He's not even born yet. How much are they talking about this?

It's always best to not tell anyone any names until after the baby is born. Too late now but I would imagine as he goes through life at school etc he will be called Alex. Personally I would prefer that to 'AJ'.

AnonaMouse1 · 28/10/2018 11:48

It's not up to you....a nickname is a shortened version which people choose to use as it suits them

You can't police it!

WorraLiberty · 28/10/2018 11:49

I wouldn't use that nickname either

You're choosing to officially call him Alexander, so even you must think there's something wrong with 'AJ'.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 28/10/2018 11:49

They might just dislike initials as a nickname. I know I do. Sorry.

MajorArcana · 28/10/2018 11:50

Correct them every time. Or make the A stand for something else so that they're not even calling him by his name.

I do think those initial abbreviations can be a bit............ tricky though. I used to work with a JP (john paul, lots born 1979) but there was another man who couldn't get it right and always called him PJ and JP answered to PJ. I think the guy who called him PJ might have dyslexia.

canihaveanap · 28/10/2018 11:50

Also it's not really a nickname like the others in the family is it? It's initials
If you are calling him Alex that's what lots of people will call him growing up.
I have a child who's never been called by her name at home she always gets nickname (which is a completely different name, she sees nickname as her name but teachers always use full name)

ShatnersBalloonFromPennywise · 28/10/2018 11:50

I'm not physically capable of calling a baby AJ.

Birdie69 · 28/10/2018 11:50

People will call him what they want to - you can't dictate a nickname. I called my DS Owen , partly because I didn't want my children to have shortened names and I thought Owen was pretty solid. When he was young, his friends started calling him "Ozie" and so he became Ozie. Nothing I can do about it. And there is nothing you can do about the Alex / AJ thing.

canihaveanap · 28/10/2018 11:50


canihaveanap · 28/10/2018 11:51

Caselgarcia · 28/10/2018 11:51

I must admit I prefer Alex, AJ doesn't sound appropriate for a baby but more for a little boy. Maybe given time if you continue to use it they will too.

Goldmandra · 28/10/2018 11:51

Keep changing your mind about the name that begins with A too so AJ is the only thing that stays consistent.

m0therofdragons · 28/10/2018 11:52

Thing is AJ isn't a name it's initials so I think it's different to saying this is Alexander please call him Alex. AJ is more a nickname his mates at school will give him. It's your choice but I can see why an older generation would struggle and think that calling him his name should be acceptable to a parent. I dislike the nickname my DD's friends have given her but she's happy so it's out of my hands. You cannot dictate nicknames in life.

MajorArcana · 28/10/2018 11:52

You could use names they hate like Arnold Jago or Albert Justin. Straw poll them, find out what names they like and dislike beginning with a and j.

Racecardriver · 28/10/2018 11:53

I don’t think I could ever call someone AJ with a straight face. Sorry. Maybe they think the same and are hoping that you will just drop it?

emmar88 · 28/10/2018 11:53

The only thing you could do is announce the baby simply as 'AJ' is when born.

Alexander was our initial choice but soon realised there are so many nicknames ( non of which I like) and people tend to use whatever nickname they prefer.

We ended up going with a one syllable name that can't be shortened x

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 28/10/2018 11:54

Do pple really call their kids, Jason?

m0therofdragons · 28/10/2018 11:54

I know a boy who had a non abbreviated Christian name but his surname ended "pie" he is known as Pie 🥧 to his mates 

Wednesdaypig · 28/10/2018 11:54

Nicknames appear because of characteristics, personalities etc not something that gets dictated especially before birth! Wait and see, he might not look like an Alex etc, also the father might want some input! After a while (months years) if others hear you call him AJ and he responds to it then it will become the norm. Don't expect school to call him that though. They might, they might not

SoyDora · 28/10/2018 11:55

How much are they actually using his name when he’s not even been born yet?


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Sparklingbrook · 28/10/2018 11:55

Both my children have nicknames that are a version of their surname and their mates always call them that.
When I was at school we had nicknames that had no relation to our names at all. Grin

SputnikBear · 28/10/2018 11:57

Maybe it’s because Alex sounds nice and AJ sounds awful. People are going to pick the nicest option. You could just name him AJ? Or pick a terrible A name so AJ actually sounds better than his full name.

Letsgetreadytorumba · 28/10/2018 11:59

use AJ affectionately as your name for him. Alex is much nicer

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