To expect people to use the nickname I chose?

[ReiofHope]

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’m having a little boy. Since I was a child I’ve loved the name Alexander James using AJ as a nickname. (I’ll admit it started as I loved the Backstreet Boys)
Now 20 on this generation of babies has a James and at least one other child with James as a middle name. So I changed the middle name for my son to jason but still want to call my baby AJ.
Over the last few weeks everyone from my step mum to the children on my partners side have been referring to him as Alex no matter how many times I correct them.

It’s not as if they’ve ever refused to use nicknames before we have an Ollie (oliver) harry (Harrison) Albie (Albert) and Mila (Emelia) so why is it that they’re refusing to use my chosen nickname?

Am I just being an unreasonable bitch to expect people to use a specific short form?

[ReiofHope]

I won’t call him AJ as his actual name because he needs an actual name, one he will be able to use and be taken seriously as an adult. Just as my second choice was Charlie but I’d have named him Charles because Charles is an adult name.

I suppose I’ll just have to see how people react once he’s here in a few weeks.

[BigFatLiar]

Popular short form for Alexander where I came from was Sandy

CJ makes me think of the boss in Reggie Perrin

[HarrySnotter]

Oh well I suppose I’ll just have to get used to people naming my child what they want.

What they want? It's the name you've given him. I don't understand this. You're naming him Alex Jason, but you don't want people to call him Alex?

[BendAndLoft]

Bloody hell! You’re getting a hard time on here OP!

In my friendship group off the top of my head;
Evelyn known as Evie, Edward known as Teddy, Isabella known as Bella, Amelia known as Millie, Fredrick known as Freddie, Eleanor known as Nora etc
ALL of these nicknames were chosen by the parents, baby announcement made with proper name and nickname and I call all the children what the parents have chosen.
Like fuck I’d suddenly call my freinds kids Eve, Ward, Izzy, Amy, Ricky, Ellie because that’s what I think is better

[Laiste]

Alexis a lovely name.

AJ sounds very race to the bottom tbh.

[EdWinchester]

Maybe they loathe initials as a ‘name’.

It’s so contrived and silly. Give the poor child an actual name.

[CoughLaughFart]

I went to school with a Vicki, whose parents had called her Vicki on her birth certificate and had her christened as Vicki. They didn’t want her to be Victoria and knew that, even if they always called her Vicki, there would always be people who would insist on calling her Victoria (older relatives, teachers etc.) I remember her having quite an argument with one teacher who told her she had to put her ‘proper’ name on her work. She made it very clear that Vicki WAS her proper name.

If you don’t want to officially name him AJ, all you can do to try to make it stick as a nickname is to always call him that and always introduce him as that. It won’t guarantee anything, but if that’s what you want, it’s your best chance of getting it.

[SillySallySingsSongs]

I'd tell them you have changed his first name it still begins with A but it is no longer Alexander and since you are going to call him AJ you won't be telling folk what his official name is.

Good luck with not telling family what the name is. Doing this would make you sound daft.

[WorraLiberty]

I won’t call him AJ as his actual name because he needs an actual name, one he will be able to use and be taken seriously as an adult.

Bingo!

Now give him a sensible name and allow him to be taken seriously as a child too!

[FesteringCarbuncle]

Another one shocked that you are a teacher op.
All the teachers I know cringe when poor kids are saddled with non names

[Jessbow]

If you want him called AJ , register him as Ajay.

[dontalltalkatonce]

A birth announcement dictating a nickname? How insufferably precious. I'm so glad my parents were never so ridiculously twee. Name your child what you expect them to be called. Problem solved. Feel sorry for those who have a twee nickname forced on them and then decide they want to use their actual name and fight off a decade or two of people calling them a nn they never chose.

[SillySallySingsSongs]

I suppose I’ll just have to see how people react once he’s here in a few weeks.

Its his name.

[rjay123]

Let me guess, this is your first?

[IncyWincyGrownUp]

My son has a traditional name, and a preferred nickname. I gave him the more formal name in case he decided he’d like to use it when he is older, but he only gets called it when he’s on bother. He’s universally known by his nickname, he introduces himself as it, and as a small child would be quite forthright if anybody tried an alternative, which is down to his ASD more than anything else.


That said, I think initial names are grim as hell, but that’s purely my opinion.

[dontalltalkatonce]

Let me guess, this is your first?

No, apparently she has 4 others with these enforced nicknames.

[MaisyPops]

Nicknames evolve with the child/teen/adult as it suits them.
Parents don't dictate the nicknames.

I don't get 'we're going to call our child Daniel but we've decided on a nickname and will be annoyed if anyone uses any typical diminutives'.

[KurriKurri]

And you don't think her family insisting on a name she has clearly said she doesn;t want her baby to be called sounds daft ? Asking nicely hasn't worked - the general idea was that if you let them know you won't be telling them the name because they won't listen to your preference, then they might change their tack and start listening to you.

And I maintain that people on this thread are not listening to her because she wants to call the baby AJ and posters have become consumed by their own snobbery, and missesd the actual issue, which is family not calling your babay by the name you have chosen.

[qumquat]

Just tell everyone you're calling him AJ. If you say Alexander they will use Alex.

It is possible to reject a nickname. I have a friend whose 5 yo is called Alexander and woe betide anyone who calls him Alex!

[cricketballs3]

When thinking of names, DH would quickly announce what the nick name would be, sometimes I was bewildered as to how he got from an actual name to a nick name but he had very clear reasoning!

My DSs only get called their full name when they are in trouble

[PurpleFlower1983]

We had a Ceejay at our school. What about Ayjay?

Joking obviously but this thread is a bit ridiculous, you can’t dictate middle names.

[PurpleFlower1983]

nicknames not middle names

[KurriKurri]

baby - no idea where babay came from.

[CoughLaughFart]

Not necessarily an issue as most people won’t know, but the name Ajay is usually pronounced ‘Ajj-eh’ with a hard A at the beginning, not ‘Eh-jay’ as the OP wants.

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

I was adamant I hated the shortened version of my sons name that everyone called him when I was pregnant. I preferred an alternative. It drove me nuts with hormones and everything else.

However, when he was born the first thing I called him was the shortened version I didn't like. It suits him. That's who he is.

Unfortunately you can have a preference but as others have said nicknames and shortened versions are casual and. It through prescription by parents.