To expect people to use the nickname I chose?

[ReiofHope]

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’m having a little boy. Since I was a child I’ve loved the name Alexander James using AJ as a nickname. (I’ll admit it started as I loved the Backstreet Boys)
Now 20 on this generation of babies has a James and at least one other child with James as a middle name. So I changed the middle name for my son to jason but still want to call my baby AJ.
Over the last few weeks everyone from my step mum to the children on my partners side have been referring to him as Alex no matter how many times I correct them.

It’s not as if they’ve ever refused to use nicknames before we have an Ollie (oliver) harry (Harrison) Albie (Albert) and Mila (Emelia) so why is it that they’re refusing to use my chosen nickname?

Am I just being an unreasonable bitch to expect people to use a specific short form?

[SavoyCabbage]

I can’t understand why you would give a baby a name you don’t want him to have. You know what you want to call him so call him that.

[SputnikBear]

I don’t see why parents can’t choose nicknames. I liked Andrew with nn Drew. Imo Andy is awful, makes me think of Andy Pandy and Toy Story. I don’t think I’m BU to say my child is called Drew not Andy.

[Eminybob]

I don’t understand why everyone is calling your baby Alex already! I’m 36 weeks pregnant, and nobody is referring to the baby by name, mainly because we haven’t told anyone our choice yet, but even dh and I just call him “the baby”!
I’m so confused that this is even a thing. What if you change your mind about what to call him once he’s born?

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

Just call him Ajay, meaning invincible www.babynamespedia.com/meaning/Ajay/m and means he will be called that on documents etc. It wouldn't be my choice of name but it would mean that people find it harder to argue. I personally prefer to name children by the name that I want them to be known as. Saves confusion.

[KurriKurri]

It's your choice and no one else's business what you call your baby.
I'd tell them you have changed his first name it still begins with A but it is no longer Alexander and since you are going to call him AJ you won't be telling folk what his official name is. (Obviously you can lie and still call him Alexander if you want to, or you could go for e.g Adam or something that can't shortened by them into their preferred nickname)

I don't think they get to dictate what nickname you use. There are lots for Alexander. I think the fact that you are going for AJ is slightly clouding the issue. I think if you had posted you were calling him Alex but your family were all insisting on Xander - you'd get more sympathetic responses.

[starzig]

I hate nicknames as a rule but when people tend to have one it tends to happen more organically so tend to be a shortening if their given name. So it's fairly natural he would become Alex.

[dontalltalkatonce]

Then name his 'Drew', Sputnick.

[Jezzifishie]

I think things will settle once he's actually here. My friends have an Alexander, he is Xander rather than Alex. They had to correct people a few times, but we got used to it. I think having initials as a nickname is more common in America than the UK - I had a friend called CJ as a teenager (although eventually even that got a nickname and he became Ceej....)

[headinhands]

You think that's bad. A 30 year old relative decided they wanted to be referred to as a nick name. Think Nicola to Nixy and insisted it had to be spelt with the x. They would pull me up all the time if I wrote Nicola instead of Nixy. This was an adult!

[CatLadyToddlerMother]

My mum gave my brother a name that couldn't be shortened, he goes by the first 3 letters of his name and only answers to his "proper" name in an official setting, even his doctor calls him by his nickname.

I hate my name being shortened, even though my mum likes the shortened version of my name. I correct anyone who uses it as it's not my name.

So AJ might have other ideas

[dontalltalkatonce]

I have a cousin his folks tried to force everyone to call 'JR', his initials. He's been 'Jeff' for about 20 years now.

[cushioncovers]

AJ sounds awful. Sorry

You can't police what people want to call your baby. If his name is Alex Jason then people will call him Alex.

How you want to address him is up to you.

[WorraLiberty]

You're a teacher and you want to call him AJ?

Yeah that surprised me too.

I thought teacher's hearts automatically sank into their boots, when they hear they'll have kids in their class with these names.

[lottiegarbanzo]

You can strongly discourage a particular nn e.g. Andy. You cannot make everyone use the one you want though - that's a totally different thing. They can and will use his name e.g. Andrew. Because it's his name!

[HouseOnTheLake]

Btw, I think people would only 'naturally' call him AJ if his first name was a compound name, i.e Alexander-Jason (with or without hyphen). That way, AJ would be easier and quicker than the full name. No one normally knows a person's middle name so initials nicknames are normally formed from either a compound first name or the first name and surname, e.g Alex Jefferies = AJ.

[Houseonahill]

If you want him to be called AJ call him AJ not Alex

[GreenTulips]

I thought teacher's hearts automatically sank into their boots, when they hear they'll have kids in their class with these names

Me too! Initials make me cringe.

Give him a real name.

Nick names and shortend names are different - AJ is neither

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Oh well I suppose I’ll just have to get used to people naming my child what they want.
Or calling your child by the name you give him -Alexander. If you really want him to be called AJ, make it his actual name.

[jaseyraex]

Why not call him AJ/Ajay and have Jason as a middle name? Or just keep the AJ as an affectionate nickname for yourself and his dad to use. You don't really get to dictate nicknames, people come up with them on their own. It's why my kids have names that can't be shortened!

[SputnikBear]

We have a CC in our family - Cousin Christine. The kids started calling her CC and now even people who aren’t her cousins call her CC. I’d expect it to stop immediately if she or her parents objected though. Surely the parents have the final say!

[dontalltalkatonce]

So you already have 4 kids and none of them goes by their given name? That sounds just . . .

[PositiveVibez]

Then name your baby Eh-jay

Or does that sound stupid?

[Ffiffime]

I hate initials as nicknames, so tacky!
Love Alex though

[Sirzy]

There is a difference between a natural, widely accepted, shortened version of a name and using initials as a “nickname”

[dontalltalkatonce]

Oh, god, compound names in English, even worse. How about 'Asa'? Guess you're hellbent on this ridiculous AJ. I'd call him Sandy just to piss you off.