To not allow 10 year old into town on her own?

[Calmsd]

10 year old dd wants to go into town (but of shopping) and lunch in Pizza Hut with her friend. I'd drop her into town obviously. However although other girls mum is fine with it. I'm a little bit unsure and want to say no. Aibu?? Or am I completely overreacting? 10 seems very young to me

Not sure if these same laws apply where you are but you could show your daughter this article and explain that even if you are happy to let her go, Pizza Hut might not be happy to serve her!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2018/10/24/boy-10-kicked-out-of-nandos-while-on-a-date-with-his-wee-girlfriend-8069707/amp/

Most restaurants won't let you in alone till 13.

My boy did at 10 in Year 6 (June birthday so not 11 until towards the end of the school year)

Depends on your child. You know them best.

I wouldn't allow it. The amount of addicts that roam around my town is unbelievable and would happily try and steal from a child alone

Mine were allowed from year 6 into local town ( ten minutes on bus) and year 7 into central London.

At 10 we would meet DD's friend in town the Mum and I would go for coffee and the girls would be allowed an hour or two mooching whilst we chatted. We were always in the same area of town and the girls knew where we were.

They don't go to restaurants unless you count McDs as a restaurant (I don't). They go to Lidl & buy huge bags of sweets. Another set of problems, fair enough.

Depends on the town. We live in a fairly safe town, they are familiar with the layout. We started from end of yr5 letting them first go for coffee with us on other side, then us in cafe, they go shopping for half an hour etc. Means that when they start secondary they are confident out and about. We do live in a safe town though. I would probably say they can go but I will be in town, they need to check in with you regularly either in person or by phone and would probably eat across the room from them at pizza hut. You know your town and dc best though. Make sure they know what to do if they suspect that a friend is shoplifting. Not happened to us but they know to stay in the shop and ring me.

Should say that their friends are all lovely and don't suspect any of them, but you don't know if they might bump into someone else from their class, school etc who might try to use them to carry stuff out. Best to be prepared.

I think it's a little bit young. Another year when they are at secondary school would be better. Of course it's all a gradual process towards independence, and someone else's judgement may be different.

I wouldn't mind however, say, leaving them having a bite to eat together at Pizza Hut while I went to do something else. It's just the wandering around bit that feels slightly too grown-up.

And my DDs were walking to and from school on their own sometimes from Y4, but that was A-B, ten minutes walk and feels different from going round the shops.

DD1 was first dropped off at the shops with a friend in Y7. It felt quite funny, a real milestone, and she probably looked younger too. They were fine of course, but I was very glad to pick them up again at the end.

I regularly went into town with friends from about 10 years old at the weekends. At 11 I was doing it every weekend for probably 4/5 hours at a time.

Unless your town is unsafe I don't see what the problem would be at that age. They're not going to come to much harm in Smiggle and Pizza Hut!

I agree with the posters who advocate letting her go but with you around to support, eg stay in cafe having a coffee while the girls go off for an hour or so but they know where you are, then they come back and you all have lunch together

I'd say no if it was my child in my town.

I regularly went into town with friends from about 10 years old at the weekends.

I didn't- we didn't have a lot of our own money to be able to do that anyway. We were certainly allowed to be out and about in our local village but wouldn't have been allowed into the big town on the bus. I didn't do that until I was 13, this was in the late 1980s.

I was allowed into town with a friend when I was 10, but I recall not many of my friends were so I didn’t always have someone to go with! And we went on the bus, came back on the bus, had no mobile phones, and survived.

I think it’s one of those ages where it’s not clear cut and no one is being unreasonable to say yes fine or no too young. I was a resourceful and independent child and also the second so my parents were more relaxed I think.

I do think the point about them having to make their own way to high school from 11 is a good one though, best to help them become a bit streetwise beforehand I think.

I didn't- we didn't have a lot of our own money to be able to do that anyway.

You don't need money to wander around town, do you? I mean, I never spent anything - we walked in to town and wandered around, maybe bought some penny sweets or a magazine and came home. It was about the novelty of being independent and out without parents, not spending loads of money.

We did that around the local shops, but not in the big town.

Plus I would have found it miserable to mooch around chain stores and not buy anything when I was ten. I'd rather have been leaping off the swings, doing handstands and cartwheels or hanging upside down off the climbing frame at the park. Or go shopping with my mum and actually buy stuff!

Depends on the child and town. I let mine do it, as I did myself from 10 in the same town.

Not in our town no way.

Also please check but sometimes restaurants have min age without an adult present so they might be too young anyway.

Hell no.

I was in year 7 when my parents and my friends parents first let us. And they went for a coffee in town too so they were around. Always had a phone too and small amount of money.

A lot of restaurants don't serve to children alone under 13.

If you’re dropping them off, picking them
Up and they’re literally just wanting to have a burger or pizza together then I can’t see a problem. That’s very different to traveling in and out and having ‘open’ time in town

Like others say, you work up to these things. Start by going shopping with dd and a friend and giving them a bit of freedom to go round the dept store together, then maybe go off for a milkshake, then maybe go off for lunch together.

By secondary school age you’d hope your child is able to navigate getting to school independent and meeting up with mates for cinema/ Nando’s etc If they aren’t given opportunities to build up to that, then you’re not doing them any favours

So I don’t think it’s a clear cut ‘hell no’ as some posters suggest, but neither would I just let them go off at 10 without any build up to it

My dd has just started doing this aged 11 and in year 7. At 10 I'd go into town with her and let her have half an hour to wander on her own before meeting back up

I would if it was all in the same shopping centre, and I would hang about myself until they were finished (obvs disclaimer depends on the general vibe of the shopping centre!)

How on earth are 11 year olds supposed to navigate getting to secondary school independently and the freedom that comes with it (like so many of them do) if they can’t manage a few hours in town?

Our secondary is a ten minute walk away through a leafy ‘naice’ village.

The city centre is only 15 minutes away by bus and most is ok...but it’s a busy, bustling city. Busy, two way roads, crowds. If you wander too far towards one particular dodgy street that is well known for being rough, you’re likely to bump into smackheads and prostitutes whiling the day away in doorways.

I’m fine with dropping my ten year old at the cinema or a pizza place with friends and picking them up...that’s enough freedom at this age though imo.

I’m glad that so far, ds1 would still rather be in a field with a ball than wandering aimlessly round shops for the sake of it.