AIBU to object to “kidspreading”

[Modernparent101]

So we (oh+2yo ds) turn up at a busy pub. Bunch of rellies (3 adults 2 kids) will be joining in 10 mins. There’s a 9-seat table with a 4 year old girl sitting alone eating a meal and watching an iPhone. No other largeish tables free, so we head over to this one and kind of hang around waiting to see if there’re any parents. After a couple of minutes hovering, we ask at nearby tables and there’re a couple of women at another table about 5-10m away who say she’s with them but it’s ok for us to sit there. They don’t make any other gesture. Now, the girl’s occupying a mid-table seat, so we perch on one end.
When our rels turn up, we pop over to the two women (who have two empty seats) and explain we have a lot of people turning up. One says “it’s ok”. I suggest it may be difficult cos there’ll be a lot of us, so she reluctantly heads to the table and then says something along the lines of “she doesn’t want to move”.
So she pops back to her table and we awkwardly cluster around the unresponsive child.

Why didn’t you just ask the staff to move her?

I’d have ask the child nicely to move up to the end of the table

Weird you approached the woman twice instead of staff?

I'd have asked the staff aswell

She taking a large table

The parent was rude

That’s really weird and I would’ve asked staff to move her. I’m sure staff wouldn’t want to lose out on a full table worth of custom because a stubborn child won’t move, and many people would leave if there wasn’t a table available.

You did ask the staff, didn't you, OP?

Why is it weird to approach the parents instead of staff? It’s not a school and nobody needs to tell the teacher ffs, all adults and OP has made a fair request.

I would of asked the parents too, then I would of said to the child about moving along to the end of the table 🤷🏻‍♀️

YABU for "rellies".

Why is it weird to approach the parents instead of staff?

Because the staff actually work there and seating comes under their remit.

I'm surprised that needs explaining.

Because the staff actually work there and seating comes under their remit.

But the child belongs to the parents and parenting comes under their remit.

I’d have been more explicit to the parents and asked them to have the child at their table. I’d also have said to the child that the table was needed now so pop back to her own table with mummy.

The parents were ridiculous. If the kid refused to move for them, I'd tell her myself to move up. Failing that, it's probably just easier for staff to sort it.

Why is it weird to approach the parents instead of staff?

It's not weird to approach them in the first instance, but once the parents have made it clear they intend to do SFA, time to call in reinforcements.

But the child belongs to the parents and parenting comes under their remit.

Yes but staff tend to be more level headed than some parents, as the OP found out.

That is really weird. Can't believe parents didn't move her before you spoke to them never mind after!

I think the OP should've plonked herself down on the kid's lap

Did she sit there the whole time? This is so british! Tell child to go back to her mum as you’re using the table now.

Tell the child that you need to use the table and to go and sit with their adults?

Had a lovely free hour the other week, took my paper to a cafe, ordered, and plonked down. Table just across was x2 women and x2 kids aged around 5/6. No problem. Just as I’m starting to feel relaxed, those kids decide my table has got more interesting salt and pepper pots and come over to mine and actually sit down in the chairs at my table/opposite me and start playing... the mums looked over and then just carried on chatting! I left them to it out of sheer bemusement over the cheeky fuckery of the parents, but once my food arrived I got my headphones out to sort of indicate I was about to put them in and said to the kids “can you two go and sit with your parents because I’m having my breakfast now”. They went off looking like I’d smacked their bums and were about to ugly cry, and the mums looked over at me like I was some sort of miserable bitch. So no, in short, YANBU and I’m a bit sick of people letting their kids spread out all over the place to keep the peace for themselves. Very selfish and entitled. I saw a thread or comment about how there can’t possibly be as many cheeky fuckers as the ones found on MN. I promise you I come across 1-2 of them a day, at least! Some are low level, like these ones in the cafe, some are outrageous - I’ve had people boast to me about how much money they’ve got at the school gates and in the next breath asked me to dedicate a day per week to picking up their kid to save on kids club fee (£10). There is a CF for every cool and kind person, seriously.

I'd have told the kid to go back to her parents. (Along with a death stare)

I just witnessed a woman watch her 5yo ish son knock a whole milkshake over the floor in a cafe and CLICK HER FINGERS for a lad to come and clean it up whilst her son frolicked about on a nearby table spreading milkshake form his shoes every where.

YANBU. It's annoying when people show no consideration at all for others.

Is it no longer acceptable to just tell kid to beat it? Probably not.

Hands up. Fair point. I should have known better than that,