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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to object to “kidspreading”

67 replies

Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 17:44

So we (oh+2yo ds) turn up at a busy pub. Bunch of rellies (3 adults 2 kids) will be joining in 10 mins. There’s a 9-seat table with a 4 year old girl sitting alone eating a meal and watching an iPhone. No other largeish tables free, so we head over to this one and kind of hang around waiting to see if there’re any parents. After a couple of minutes hovering, we ask at nearby tables and there’re a couple of women at another table about 5-10m away who say she’s with them but it’s ok for us to sit there. They don’t make any other gesture. Now, the girl’s occupying a mid-table seat, so we perch on one end.
When our rels turn up, we pop over to the two women (who have two empty seats) and explain we have a lot of people turning up. One says “it’s ok”. I suggest it may be difficult cos there’ll be a lot of us, so she reluctantly heads to the table and then says something along the lines of “she doesn’t want to move”.
So she pops back to her table and we awkwardly cluster around the unresponsive child.

OP posts:
Weezol · 27/10/2018 18:17

"I think this is yours?"

Original poster
Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 18:18

Her mother was the boss of the death stare, although the child was pretty good at it too

OP posts:
Original poster
Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 18:18
Grin
OP posts:
MsLexic · 27/10/2018 18:19

well does it matter she is sitting there? She is only a child...

Alsonification · 27/10/2018 18:21

**I just witnessed a woman watch her 5yo ish son knock a whole milkshake over the floor in a cafe and CLICK HER FINGERS for a lad to come and clean it up whilst her son frolicked about on a nearby table spreading milkshake form his shoes every where.

When I was on holidays in Rome in the summer we were at a restaurant & a man at another table clicked his fingers at the waiter. The waiter went over & said “no, do you want to try that again?” and was very angry & rightly so. The family just got up & walked out. CF’s.

And for the OP, I would have ran the child back to their parents.

merrymouse · 27/10/2018 18:22

Ask the staff because they have the authority to tell the girl to move and it's their job to deal with difficult customers.

You are after all paying them for their service.

PMSwithacockinmydress · 27/10/2018 18:23

What happened when they left?

theWarOnPeace · 27/10/2018 18:23

It does matter because the kid is taking up a table and should be being looked after by their own parents, at their own table. Disturbing others, laying about and just generally not actually anybody else’s problem and yet intruding on their space. How can people not get this??

ButchyRestingFace · 27/10/2018 18:29

well does it matter she is sitting there? She is only a child...

Totes. Why not let her sit on OP's lap for good measure?

Weezol · 27/10/2018 18:29

I was full time waiting staff for a few years. Clicking fingers incurred a five minute penalty from all the staff.

Lethaldrizzle · 27/10/2018 18:34

I would have 'asked' the child to move myself - excuse me we need tthis table, can you go back to your parents

Cambalamb · 27/10/2018 18:34

Snowflake syndrome strikes again!

IWantChocolates · 27/10/2018 18:38

well does it matter she is sitting there? She is only a child...

So because she's a child she's allowed to take up a table that would easily seat about 8 people, all by herself, in a pub, because she wants to?

She had the table when it was free, but then a group wanted to use it. The child moving back to her mother's table at that point is called "common sense" and "being polite".

dontalltalkatonce · 27/10/2018 18:40

YABU for not telling the staff.

TedAndLola · 27/10/2018 18:43

Rellies and rels?

YABU

eggsandham · 27/10/2018 18:45

Surely getting staff involved is an un-British thing to do? It escalates the problem somewhat no?

YANBU OP - it's off behaviour by the parents.

The Santa suggestion is the best one here. Am going to steal that.

Juells · 27/10/2018 18:51

I'd have started shouting fuck and shit and stuff like that loudly so the mother got annoyed and removed the child. But I'm nasty :(

Original poster
Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 19:04

So I didn’t speak to the staff. They get enough shit without being asked to be parents to parents, so to speak.

OP posts:
Original poster
Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 19:04

And I am sorry for rels and rellies (although it’s regional. Can you forgive me on that basis?)

OP posts:
Original poster
Modernparent101 · 27/10/2018 19:07

The child was even more immune to death stares than the mum. And better at giving them too

OP posts:
Whitecurrants · 27/10/2018 19:08

What's wrong with rellies? Common usage where I come from

WhiteDust · 27/10/2018 19:11

Did you all sit at the table normally with this random child or did you all squash up at the end. Please tell me you just sat around her.
Her parents were rude and the child behaved like a brat.

FingerLickingGod · 27/10/2018 19:12

Sorry but what does rellie mean?Confused

SenecaFalls · 27/10/2018 19:18

It's a diminutive of relative.

ButchyRestingFace · 27/10/2018 19:18

And I am sorry for rels and rellies (although it’s regional. Can you forgive me on that basis?)

Don't be sorry, ffs. Tell them to kiss your ass. And then talk about the hubs. (I would).

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