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AIBU?

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Original poster

Strange DIL

69 replies

Choccybisc · 27/10/2018 16:46

My MIL has 4 DIL including me, she gets along with us all apart from one.
This DIL trys to push herself onto mil, and gets upset when it gets her no where.
She came round when I was there the other day and i saw on her phone she was on the phone to her husband MILs son, but not talking so i said "hey sil your phone is on" and she said "i know i always have him on the phone when i come so he can hear I've tried AND he does the same when he comes round"
I haven't told MIL but should i? I'd want to know if my conversations were being recorded

OP posts:
chrisinthesun · 27/10/2018 22:18

@Choccybisc

Is this a reverse? Are you the black-sheep SIL?

If not, I feel really sorry for the SIL to be honest, and think you all sound mean and cliquey, and especially the MIL.

The poor woman (the SIL) doesn't seem to be able to do right for doing wrong. No wonder she behaves a bit irrationally.

Her husband (the MIL's son) should be intervening here, and trying to see why his family are being so fucking horrid to his wife! Hmm

HippoLatte · 27/10/2018 22:48

I don't get this at all. She doesn't allow the kids round but still comes round herself even though neither her or MIL like each other. Then has her husband listen in to the conversation? Or lack of it?

Weiiiiirrrrrdddd!

Blondebakingmumma · 28/10/2018 01:31

It sounds like the DIL is being blamed because MIL doesn’t have the amount of contact she wants. Why doesn’t she take this up with her son instead of ignoring DIL?

Maybe DIL’s DH didn’t believe her that MIL totally ignores her so the recording was to prove MIL’s poor treatment

I think we need more of the backstory

Jlynhope · 28/10/2018 02:21

Are the gc adopted? I don't get what it means that they aren't her biological children. Are they her dh's? Are they her step children? I'm confused.

Powerless · 28/10/2018 03:05

@Thesnobbymiddleclassone Ooh what did your DH say to your MIL after then?? X

TheStopAndChat · 28/10/2018 03:58

We often read on MN about 'evil' MIL's who are sneaky enough to make sure they do their best work when the DH, or others for that matter, are not in earshot. That could definitely explain the phone thing.

What is abundantly clear here is that you do not like her and I get the opinion that you discuss her with the rest of the family. I can see why she'd feel on the outer though not why she persists with you all. Possibly for her DH I guess.

SD1978 · 28/10/2018 03:59

Are the grandchildren biologically related to MIL, or are they DIL's with a different bloke? Confused

SD1978 · 28/10/2018 04:00

And why if they are not the DIL's. Is it her responsibility to ferry his children around? Is he incapable of doing so due to having no arms and legs? Is MIL similarly afflicted so can't arrange with her son to see the children?

SD1978 · 28/10/2018 04:01

And why if they are not the DIL's. Is it her responsibility to ferry his children around? Is he incapable of doing so due to having no arms and legs? Is MIL similarly afflicted so can't arrange with her son to see the children?

steff13 · 28/10/2018 04:53

Are the grandchildren biologically related to MIL, or are they DIL's with a different bloke?

The impression I got was that they are the son's biological children, and the DIL in question is their stepmother.

WitchyMcWitchface · 28/10/2018 05:07

Supporting DMIL to be rude or not welcoming DSIL because DMIL doesn't is nuts. Ignore this and be extra nice and inclusive to the GCs who are in the middle of this.

RebootYourEngine · 28/10/2018 05:19

Why does the DIL still visit MIL if they don't get on?

Booie09 · 28/10/2018 05:41

How come she has so much say in who her step children see? What does there Mum say? Feel sorry for your mother in law.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/10/2018 05:56

I would tell your mil she needs to grow up and apologise. She needs to swallow her pride even if it is just to pay lip service to your sil.

Why doesn’t she try something like (whilst being recorded): “I’m sorry this stalemate has gone on so long. I’d love to get along better. Cup of tea dear?”

I would find a way to tell your mil if you think she can keep her mouth shut. However I absolutely suspect not otherwise this situation would have been sorted long ago.

PeridotCricket · 28/10/2018 06:09

Emigrating to Australia sounds like the best option.

Jux · 28/10/2018 11:25

It sounds to me as if you could help this situation a bit. Do you know why your sil won't let her dp's children see their aunts and uncles? Aside from being a wet lettuce, why does your bil allow her to dictate this?

Everyone needs to grow up a bit, and everyone needs to do a little more giving and a little less taking.

Talking often solves problems. Is it really beyond the wit of man and woman to sort this out? It's all really rather ridiculous.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 28/10/2018 15:11

If the DIL is the children’s stepmother, why does she have a say in who they see? Why isn’t the husband taking his kids to see their grandmother? I’m confused and not even sure if all the information is there. I’d rather be told if every conversation I have is being listen to by the partner. That’s odd and unsettling actually. So the DIL can’t seem to say to her husband that they don’t get on so she won’t try anymore but seems to stop the children seeing their grandmother?

steff13 · 28/10/2018 16:20

The OP said the DIL keeps the children away from the father's siblings. I assumed the MIL could still see them. But who knows? 🤷

Maybe Choccybisc could come back and explain.

BlueJava · 28/10/2018 16:39

I'd leave it, the relationship is obviously a difficult one for SIL/MIL and I'd leave them to it.

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