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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want sil to spend half tem with her kids here when I've just had a baby.

32 replies

maisym · 16/06/2007 23:08

we've spent hols with her & her kids at parents in laws house during the summer holidays. She does nothing to help & dumps her kids on me.

I have four kids & she's offered to spend a future half term with us to help with the cooking & childcare!! I'll have a newborn.

dh has said fine to her but he'll be at work.

OP posts:
emkana · 16/06/2007 23:09

Follow your instinct - if you don't want her there, don't. That initial time with a new baby is so precious, you want it to be just the way you want it IYSWIM.

ratfly · 16/06/2007 23:11

can you not have baby brain (much worse than pregnancy brain) and forget to organise it?

TooTicky · 16/06/2007 23:11

Say no. Say you have other visitors, or that you are going away, or that your family needs time to adjust to having a new baby.

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:12

I spoke to dh he said he'd be happy to have another pair of hands if I was still in the hospital but I have a 1yr old that needs to be looked after & she spends her time reading whilst her kids will do their own thing. I'd be so worried about ds.

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 16/06/2007 23:12

I'd say no way!! Spend the time with your lovely gorgeous newborn, you know time goes so fast when they're that age Mine is 6 months soon and it feels like yesterday I brought him home as a tiny baby, make the most of it without someone imposing on you.

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:20

have tried with dh but it's his sister & there's not much I can do iyswim. Will have to think up coping strategies.

OP posts:
TooTicky · 16/06/2007 23:23

Can you have something outwardly invisible but very contagious?

ratfly · 16/06/2007 23:24

can your newborn be very colicky? and so you need to catch up on sleep? or he'd be crying the whole time so why not visit when he;s older

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:24

just a newborn!! she sleeps soundly though!!

OP posts:
ratfly · 16/06/2007 23:25

sorry she not he

VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/06/2007 23:27

Why isnt there much you can do? He's not going to be there!

Tell him to grow some balls and decline his sister's offer, unless he takes the time off to be there with you to help you too.

You dont have to do ANYTHING you dont want to.

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:27

hoping my sis will come & visit.

I've said to my dh he has to be here when his sister is staying - I'm not being dumped with all the work.

OP posts:
Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:29

you are all so right about things.

my sil is older than my dh.

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 16/06/2007 23:30

of course there's something you can do, you can call her and say no! It's your house as much as his and if you don't want her there then tell her no don't rely on dh to. Seriously just say it's not a good time and that you'll let her know when it's convenient.

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:33

on holiday she relaxes whilst I sort out kids breakfast - as I'm already up!! for example.

she reads all day & swims. She even went back home & left her ds behind without even discussing this with me - I was just expected to look after him as well as all my kids who were aged then 6,3,1.

OP posts:
Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:35

dh would have to tell her - I've never phoned her.

I could compromise on a weekend but not the whole half term. At least I'm forewarned - would be worse if I had only a few days notice. If she comes for a weekend my dh will have to sort out beds, towels, shopping and everthing.

OP posts:
j20baby · 16/06/2007 23:37

cheeky cow, just say that you've made other plans, other people coming or something.

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:37

feel better for ranting - just so ahhhh about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:38

have until october to organise!

OP posts:
j20baby · 16/06/2007 23:40

hmm yes, why haven't you been on the due oct thread for a while!

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:41

haven't been there for awhile that's true!

OP posts:
j20baby · 16/06/2007 23:41

oh ok, you popped in yesterday, but to me it seemed like ages

j20baby · 16/06/2007 23:42

you'll never be able to catch up!

Original poster
maisym · 16/06/2007 23:44

you're right j20 - preg wise I'm having a tough time with placenta probs & check ups. hope your doing fine - will go to the oct thread!

OP posts:
j20baby · 16/06/2007 23:44

yes do, will see you there x

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