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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do we call a trio of Wendies? And aibu to say something today?

64 replies

PirateHair · 27/10/2018 13:32

I was individually friends with 3 different mums from the school 1x I knew from preschool, 1x lived nearby, and 1 x from a dance group.
Anyway introduced them all to each and set up a couple of nights out and family days.
As time has gone on our family is now left out of this group, in last few weeks there’s been parties etc my kids haven’t been included in.
Just seen there was another group night out last night that we were left out of. Pretty sure there’s a chat group that I’m not on too.
Don’t know what I’ve done wrong? Aibu to send a message to one and just ask her what the problem is?

OP posts:
MuckingBird · 27/10/2018 17:57

Maybe you're onto something OP, what were they gossiping about?

Workreturner · 27/10/2018 18:00

You introduced them
They have carved out a close friendship, of which you are not part of
You are jealous

Leave it. You have nothing to gain.

MathsQuery · 27/10/2018 18:01

I sympathise OP. But they don't sound like the sort of people you'd want to be friends with anyway.

midsomermurderess · 27/10/2018 18:26

I think the advice to let it go is sound. Of course you'll be hurt and confused but being ' icily polite' or anything like that is a bit flouncy and childish.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 27/10/2018 18:43

Wendetta!! Grin

Bingo wins the internet!!

Vegisgrowingwell · 27/10/2018 18:52

I know no one is entitled to a friendship but it's bloody hurtful. So glad some of you can just shrug it off but I'd be like you OP and be upset. It hurts to be left out when you initiated the get togethers, it's nothing about hanging out with besties just can't see the comparison.

I'd want to say something too but not sure I'd be brave enough.

Nanny0gg · 27/10/2018 19:22

They haven’t done anything mean to you.

Yes they have.

TheDayMyButtWentPsycho · 27/10/2018 19:23

No one is entitled to a friendship

If a man had ghosted a woman for no reason, would we be telling her that she isn't entitled to a relationship?
Or would we be telling her he's a disrespectful arse who had shit people skills and didn't deserve her?

Original poster
PirateHair · 27/10/2018 20:08

Thanks - I wish I was resilient enough to brush it off but for reasons I won’t go into on this thread it’s been a tough year and my strength is a bit battered atm. I need to focus on my true friends now and forget ‘Wendetta’ somehow.

OP posts:
OatsBeansBarley · 27/10/2018 20:37

They seem to have decided you are nice and that in their eyes this is a failing. the They are nuts imo but it takes all sorts to make a world!

There are people who are a better fit out there. In fact some are in your life already by the sounds of it.

As your children get older they will make friends independently of you and situations like this fade away. Keep chatting to people where necessary, don't blank anyone and you'll give a good example to your children of civility.

Then there may come a day many years down the line when you'll come across one or other of these people and have a pleasant chat because they have no power to make you feel sad anymore.

Sharingplatter · 27/10/2018 20:49

Im sorry this has happened to you op. I would also be sad about it. I think I would say something to them but rather than being angry or accusatory I would probably just ask in a more I'm sad I don't seem to be included anymore way. Whatever the explanation though I would move on. They are not real friends and you will make more x

3luckystars · 27/10/2018 20:53

Leave it. Whoever has caused this,will fight with the others in the end. You won't care by then though!
Move on and say nothing, They are no loss!

marvellousnightforamooncup · 27/10/2018 21:08

It's happened to me before. I've not been wendied so much as ghosted. Suddenly not invited to things by a group. I just kept my head down for a bit and eventually made new friends. I'm still civil to that group, even friendly but I no longer trust them as I know them to be twats.

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/10/2018 21:17

Even if you’d had the best year ever and were riding high this would still upset and hurt you. Because you’re human.

Those who are saying ‘you’re not entitled to their friendship’ are missing the point. They were your friends, you were in a flow where you all hung out together, you introduced them all to each other and made that happen, and now you’re being frozen out. However you look at that that’s shit, hurtful, and reflects very badly on them.

They sound like nasty pieces of work if they found fault with you for not slagging others off.

It takes a long time to get to know people OP. You are learning now that these are not the women for you. Maybe one is worse than the others and us driving this ostracising behaviour but really who cares - they aren’t worth your time.

Leave them to it - purely because they don’t deserve anything else.

You can create other friendships - see this as a lucky escape.

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