To ask for help or a hand hold?

[whatacompleteanduttermess]

I have texted The Samaritans but they have said it could be hours before they can get back to me - I don’t feel able to pick up the phone and talk to anyone. Don’t know why I am posting really - to feel less alone???

@IAmRubbishAtDIY is absolutely right. There is nothing in this life that cannot be solved. Money is not the be all and end all. It sounds like you need a fresh perspective OP, keep talking to us and let's see what we can do to help clear your mind. Here for you x

Medication may be a starting - not a cure but perhaps the first step so you can look at how to manage things

I have been thinking about contacting Christians Against Poverty to help with the debt problems - but it is embarrassing. Plus we took out an interest only mortgage on a house that meant my child could attend a particular school. We planned to change to repayment when I increased my hours. On going mental health problems mean that I have actually had to reduce my hours so eventually we will have to move. It will have to be a very long way away in order to afford anything. See all our problems are my fault.

We will have to look at moving within the next 5 years - don’t think bank would extend mortgage - and that weighs heavily on my mind. Nobody in real life knows what my situation is.

I just don’t know how I have managed to make such a mess of my life.

Samaritans are now texting me - although very slow between texts because they are so busy.

Christians against poverty will help op.
break it down into manageable steps so it is not so overwhelming.

Thank you - I have heard some good things about CAP. I think that there was a programme on about them recently - I will see if I can find it on catch up.

Just ring them op, i would recommend

Hand hold here for you also. Something that may help in the here and now is a cold flannel or gel pack on the back of your neck and deep controlled breaths right into your belly.
X x

Give CAP a call OP. These things always seem much worse before you seek help. And mental health problems are categorically not your fault my love, they really aren't.

Thank you all for your kind help and suggestions. I have now managed to get out of bed and I have made a cup of tea. Baby steps.

Hello OP. I really feel for you. You sound like this has all become totally overwhelming for you. As you say, baby steps. Remember to breathe. There will be a way out of this. Loads of people get into a heap of pickle so you are not alone and this is NOT your fault. Life can be a real struggle sometimes.

Please be kind and gentle with yourself. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Hold your head up and know that the first step is to reach out and ask for the help you need. You have done that, which is amazing. We are all holding your hand.

Thank you - it helps a bit to get it out there. You are very kind.

Not sure about Samaritans text service - 30mins+ between texts. I know it is not their fault - wish I was better with phone calls.

OP, it's taken the two of you a while to get to where you are now, it might take quite a while before it's all completely resolved. So best advice is to take one day at a time, set yourself a daily or weekly task to tackle. Every small step is a positive achievement.
I really think medication might help. I can't see what harm it would do.
It might enable you to feel more positive about your job. Or increase your hours, or look at alternatives.
And CAP would be really helpful for you. Once you have a plan, the weight of worry will be lifted.
Do you and your husband get On generally? Can you 'park' the marriage troubles while you work out together a financial recovery plan?

Thank you. I have the CAP number - available Monday - Friday. I will need to take a deep breath and phone them on Monday. Sometimes the simplest of things seems like an impossible task. My husband isn’t a bad man but I think that I need someone so much stronger who can support me emotionally. That makes me sound pathetic but he is never there for me and I feel so alone and as if I carry everything on my shoulders.

Does he know the extent of your money problems? Could he call CAP? Leaving you to concentrate on speaking with doc about how to regain good mental health.

He doesn’t want to talk about anything - so it is left to me to worry about. Anytime I try to talk about the house situation he acts as if he can’t see the urgency. I have tried to talk about the masters money but he didn’t want to talk about it and hence the situation has got even worse. In some ways we are probably as bad as each other.

Hi OP, I know this was yesterday. Just want to say that I hope today is a better day.

I hope today is a better day for you, too.

Everything in life is just a phase, op. Nothing lasts forever. Just because things are awful right now, doesn’t mean things will be this time next year, or in 5 years, etc.

You aren’t alone

Thank you. It is so kind of you to check in on me - I really appreciate it. Felt very bad this morning and just wished that I hadn’t woken up. Feeling a little better now.

OP, don't hesitate to come back here if you are still feeling crap. This isn't going to go away immediately, (though I trust you will find your way through it in time) and no one should feel alone.

Here for you!

Go and see your GP and if you're offered medication, take it. It might give you the lift you need to try and sort things out. When you are low and anxious you don't have the energy to do anything. I have to say anti-depressants have been a life saver for me. And by the way, you sound lovely - lots of people don't have friends they can talk to. I never confide in friends - I was brought up to believe that you kept things within the family.

Thinking of you OP