The worst thing about being a single parent is that...

[bluetrampolines]

Nobody ever makes you a cup of tea. Especially late at night.

I can empathise (I'm a single parent of three) I've started making myself a cup of tea in an insulated mug before I start the bedtime routine then it's just right when they are all settled

Morning cup of tea for me...

Yeah. I have 3 aged 5 and under. Does the insulated cup of tea really hit the spot? The cup of tea I want made is the 9.45pm cup!

True - but it's even worse when you've run out of milk and you can't go out to get some because your child's asleep and you can't leave them alone!

Yep i agree.
Also having no one to do little things with, like watching tv or having a small joke or laugh with.
It's a lonely old life.
Sorry op. Not very light hearted...

I’m not bothered about making tea.

The thing I find hardest is when they do something amazing (that isn’t amazing to anyone else, just to you - like when they say a line in a school play, no better or worse than the average kid) and your heart is bursting with pride and love, and you just want to squeeze the hand of someone who loves them just as much as you.

I don’t find anything else particularly hard about single parenting, apart from that

The insulated mug/ contigo is god’s gift to coffee drinkers with demanding small children, i expect it works for tea too.

Re milk - it was a great revelation to me when i found out a friend freezes it and defrosts when needed, including in ice cube trays (microwave a cube for emergency tea!)

tbf, my dh rarely makes me a cup of tea.
I have, however trained all my dc to (tho you've got a couple of years to wait if they are still all under 5).. However, look on the bright side, you will have 3 tea makers for years to come

Coron

Get 2 single pints of milk for the freezer.

Teamakers. How. Old. Before. I. Have. 3. Tea. Makers?!!

Ellisandra I agree. There will never be anybody but me and my ex quite as enraptured and delighted with every little thing our son says and does. It’s a big miss, we are close enough to phone each other and talk about him, but I miss not being together sometimes.

The worst thing for me is knowing how much my son misses his daddy and blaming myself for his pain.

Agree with Ellis

That’s so hard DarkDarkNight.

Whenever I think about the downside to divorce (like the pain your son feels) I remind myself that I mustn’t compare ‘pain’ vs ‘no pain’. The perfect alternative is a chimera, or we’d still be married.

Remember it’s ‘pain’ vs growing up having a poor relationship as your model.

My daughter suffers in some ways from the divorce, of course she does. But now she sees her mother and her father in happy second marriages (and previously, saw me happy single) which is far better than the loveless situation she was exposed to before.

There will always be pain in life - keep loving him through it, it will get easier for both of you.

Sorry, that sounds like I mean that she should be happy to put up with divorce because I’m happier now! What I mean is, she’s less likely to think loveless is the norm. I think she has a better chance of expecting happy, openly affectionate, supportive and fun relationships now that’s what she’s growing up seeing.

I find weekends hard sometimes. My kids are pre-teen and teens now and I seem to spend the whole time shouting at them to get off phone/computer. I would love to have friends with similar age children to hang out with at weekends but all their friends have parents who are together, so they do their own family stuff at weekends. I've tried local single parent groups but they tend to be for parents with much younger kids.

I was widowed this year and i miss that too. Plus i miss having someone to make drinks for. Need to get my teens drinking tea so we can make for each other!

Sigh. The assumption I am young/uneducated/never married/that there must be more than one father/that I am ‘on benefits’/ the presumption that my children are ‘trouble’/that I introduce my children to thousands of uncles/that I am a sexual predator and am shamelessly after your husband/that I live on a council estate/that I am fair game to the gossips/that I must be miserable and general,y dissatisfied with my lot/.....etc. etc.

I’m just me. Would be nice if you wanted to know me, not just gossip about the fact I was in the pub with a man last week.

I agree with the tea thing!

Also the freezing of milk in ice cube trays for emergency tea is AMAZING!
I have long life milk in the cupboard for such an emergency - but I hate the taste haha .... emergency milk freezing ice cube tray tomorrow!

I absolutely love being a single parent. I can make my own tea, nae fuckin hassle

Okay. So for a serious list...

1. Milk in ice cube trays frozen for emergencies.
2. Contigo cup of tea ready for after bedtime jobs.

3.Always have one child coin spare for the tooth fairy. 4....

About 7 yrs old, to make tea. Depends a bit on how tall they are as you don't want them reaching up above them to pour boiling water. So need to wait until they are about 7.

4....always have a spare dinner in the freezer (enough for everyone) that you can heat up quickly.

Being a single mum is a mixed bag to me. Freedom to run your home without having to agree with someone else is a plus. You are in control of your own money, electricity supplier, sky tv or not etc. Your routine and shopping habits only need to suit you while being appropriate for your DC. The downside is the relentless nature of it (my ex has no involvement so I never get time off and have had to give up my two activities I went to) and the judgement that is still heaped on single mums.

I forgot about the tea! I make my own or I'd never get one.

1. Get a pocket diary for beside your bed and jot down the little thing that made you smile that day.. the things Ellisandra mentions. Always end the day on a high!