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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rent, rules, reasonable?

56 replies

MMB00 · 26/10/2018 18:21

I have 4 sons, between the ages of 23 and 18. I am now in the situation where all four of them are living at home, as adults in full time work.

We live in London and it would be extremely expensive and unaffordable for them to live anywhere (nice) so makes sense for them to be at home, and there is plenty of room.

However we have told them we expect them to pay 'digs' and they are all happy with this arrangement. However we obviously don't want to profit from them being here, but would like the amount to be enough that they have the responsibility and obviously this is including food (which is very high for 4 young men).

Does anyone have any ideas about prices, or additional responsibilities that should be included. Often find myself treating them all as if they're still 14 even though I try not to!

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 26/10/2018 18:27

Well what do thry do now?

They should imo be
Cleaning and tidying their own room.
Be putting on a wash at least once a week (no nec just their own clothes)
Cooking once a week or fortnight

As you've not yet charged the eldest ones rent I'd probably not charge the youngest ones yet - or I'd charge them a smalller% to make it fair.

House jobs should be even

CatLadyToddlerMother · 26/10/2018 18:28

My mum charges my 25 year old brother £50 a month, he has to do all his own washing, clean up after himself, keep his room tidy, and feed the cats when my mums on a late shift.

We're midlands if it helps.

Mamazita · 26/10/2018 18:31

My parents always charged me 20% of my wage which I thought was fair. I'd charge your sons a % of their wage

LittleKitty1985 · 26/10/2018 18:31

I'd charge them no less than 75% of whatever they'd be paying for rent in that area. If you don't need the money then how about putting it into a savings account and gift it back to them when they get married or buy a house?

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 26/10/2018 18:34

I think it depends what they earn, but £100-250 including all bills and food would be reasonable as a guide. They should be cleaning their own spaces, taking a part in cleaning the rest of the house and washing/ironing/putting away their own clothes

Atalune · 26/10/2018 18:34

Well they would be paying anything from £500-£1500 a month so what about £200 a month?

They must-
Keep their rooms tidy
Clean as they go in the family areas
Cook once a week/fortnight for the whole family
Pitch in with chores
Wash and iron own clothes and load unload washes for household as they go
I feel like they should be made to manage some household admin like like council tax or house insurance, or the utilities?

lifecouldbeadream · 26/10/2018 18:35

When I first had a wage ( 23 years ish ago). I offered to pay keep - this was £100/month and I earned £400/month. I paid my own transport and the rest was disposable income. I was 17..... I’ve never had so much money to be frivolous with!! If they save I’d be inclined to charge them less than if they waste it. If you don’t need the ££s, you could save the surplus on their behalf. IMO, it does not do any favours to suddenly realise when you move out that life is expensive

DollyWilde · 26/10/2018 18:38

Household outgoings not including mortgage (as you’d be living there anyway) or council tax (fixed sum if there’s two of you) - so gas, electric, water, food budget, internet, tv. Divide by 6, you and partner pay 2/6, they each pay their share.

They’re covering their costs but you’re not profiting based on what you’d pay anyway.

DollyWilde · 26/10/2018 18:39

Plus, it’s a lot cheaper than standard London prices. Based on our outgoings I’d guess it would be £400 each, but obviously these things vary...

DollyWilde · 26/10/2018 18:40

I’m assuming they’re all earning decent wages, mind. If not a sliding scale could be better.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 26/10/2018 18:40

Go on Spareroom.co.uk and have a look at rooms in your local area for an idea of prices

bigchris · 26/10/2018 18:41

Clearly it won't go on indefinitely and if you can afford it I'd be making them put aside whatever percentage of their salary they can afford into a savings account for a deposit on a house

AwkwardPaws27 · 26/10/2018 18:43

My parents charge my 21 year old brother (in full-time but low-paid work) £200 pcm, in Essex, including food. He is responsible for his room, and expected to muck in with the cleaning eg wash up a couple of nights a week, do a load of laundry and hoover or put the bins out once a week.
I think it's pretty reasonable, he'd be paying twice that just for a room.

SaucyJack · 26/10/2018 18:45

Add up all bills and shopping (inc. council tax) and divide it by six.

Seems fairest to me if you just want to cover costs than taking a percentage of income or going on spare room and making up a sum based on average rents.

Maelstrop · 26/10/2018 18:49

I would charge them a share of all bills, their own council tax, all Internet provision, all food/drink plus an extra buffer amount. You certainly shouldn’t be doing anything for them. They should organise washes together, meals for everyone at least once a week.

Original poster

MMB00 · 26/10/2018 19:37

Thanks for responses, me and DH had thought about £250 would be fair, and any excess from outside of costs we will save. We currently ask them to keep all there space clean, do the dishwasher if it needs doing and look after the pets when needed/asked. The older two are both very good at doing additional tasks when asked e.g cleaning the car, picking things up from the shop etc.

In relation to not charging the younger two - they are both 18, one didn't go to uni and the other has now left. The older two have both recently moved back in since returning from uni and travelling so I've never had adult kids living at home for a long period and now have 4!

OP posts:

BrookCreek · 26/10/2018 19:47

Love the fact that everyone jumps on and tells you how much housework they should do when you never mentioned it.
I have two adult sons, one still at uni and one working. We are not in London so realistically the older one will be able to buy fairly soon. Meanwhile I charge him nothing and he is saving every spare penny.
Your situation is different though. I would suggest you divide all the household bills including food (but not mortgage if you have one) by the number of adults in the house and charge that. That way you are covering costs but not profiting. If you really don't need the money I would encourage them to save it.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/10/2018 19:57

Love the fact that everyone jumps on and tells you how much housework they should do when you never mentioned it.

Does anyone have any ideas about prices, or additional responsibilities that should be included.

Erm, she kinda did!

Original poster

MMB00 · 26/10/2018 20:42

We don't necessarily need the money, however is a large jump from having 2 at home to 4 financially. We just don't want them to feel like they've got a free ride and are encouraging them all to save.

They are also on 4 very different salaries/shifts so in terms of charging a percent I wouldn't want one to feel like the other is getting more or we were treating any of them unfairly.

In terms of additional responsibilities I did mean household things to degree, but obviously do expect all of them to be able to be responsible for there own rooms at this age!

Finally we have a room we now call the snug, but was previously the 'play room' when they were small. They have been asking for a while for this to be re-done (it does need to be re-done) and making it a games room, table tennis, table football, some sofas and most likely playstation/xbox or similar. I was considering asking them all to pay £100 towards new things (me and DH will cover the rest within reason) and making them paint it, organise it, sort it out themselves. Just wondering if anyone had done something similar or some advice on such a situation?

Thanks!

OP posts:

Kamma89 · 26/10/2018 20:46

Whatever you decide it has to be fair. So if the eldest is 23 start charging but don't charge the 18 year old until he is 23 as well. If you don't need the money but want to help them learn fiscal responsibility take what they give you and save it. (If you need it to live, then obviously spend it!)

Jessiemay88 · 26/10/2018 20:47

I paid £50a week when i was 14 (was working then) for a room shared with my younger sister..moved out at 16. Id see no problem with £50a week for a room at home

goose1964 · 26/10/2018 20:48

We just charge them, in the last couple of years have has two lots at different times, the extra that it costs for them to be here, think it was around £30 a month

mummmy2017 · 26/10/2018 21:02

Do the £250...
But from everyone in the house...
Bank it. And take out all the bills from it...
Then when one leaves... See what is left and give them their share.. 1/6..
Carry this on till all your boys have gone...

2000lightyearsaway · 26/10/2018 21:29

Try and make it fair. My mum asked my sister and I at the same time to start paying keep. So I started paying at 20 and she started paying at 25. I do feel a bit of resentment about that. I pay my mum £30 a week. Although now due to my job I’m only there about 6 days a month.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/10/2018 10:13

Tbh I'd just charge the two boys who have moved home.

Do you trust them enough to say they can sort the snug between them? You'll put x into the kitty but they do it themselves

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