Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pay friend to do my week of brownie lifts

41 replies

Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:36

I’m part of a brownie rota for taking and collecting 4 girls.

I collect the girls at the end of brownies 3 times a month.

However I have just got a job and I will be home working from home on that particular day.

Would it be unreasonable / daft / or even offensive for me to ask one of the other mums to do my three journeys a month.

It involves picking up 3 other girls besides my daughter and dropping them back. 8 minute drive there, 15/18 minute drive back to include the three drops offs (all live within 100 metres of one another).

If you don’t think unreasonable, how much. I was thinking £5 a journey but please do tell me if you think not.

If it’s relevant, the woman in question is a childminder.

Thanks so much.

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 26/10/2018 17:39

Yes I would find it rude. The agreement is that you all take your turns. If the agreement no longer works for you, you need to make your own alternative arrangements

JuniperBeer · 26/10/2018 17:39

Is the woman in question one of the other girl’s mums? If not then you can’t ask a stranger to do that!
Can you not take the girls instead? Surely a benefit of being able to work from home is flexibility?

pasturesgreen · 26/10/2018 17:42

Can you swap and take the girls instead of picking them up?

Tbh I do think asking another parent to take on your rota, even in exchange for money, is verging on pisstaking territory.

WerewolfNumber1 · 26/10/2018 17:42

I don’t think that’s unreasonable. As she is a childminder she may be perfectly happy to earn a bit extra of an evening doing the drop offs, and then you are making sure your slot on the rota is filled.

Ask her, but make clear you’re asking about hiring her not just asking her to take your slot!

SantaIsATwat · 26/10/2018 17:42

If you're working from home and it's only 20 minutes, surely you can just do it andnmake the 20mins up on your return? Or work 20 mins longer another night?

Cranky17 · 26/10/2018 17:43

Yes completely unreasonable, the Mum isn’t going to accept a £5 to take your child the deal is you lift share so you don’t all have to go out everytime.

Either be up front and explain the situation, it wouldn’t bother me to take your dd if I was already taking mine, but £5 I’d be thinknyou thought I was hired help.

BertrandRussell · 26/10/2018 17:44

Can’t you just swap with one of the others? What would you do if you were ill or on holiday?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 26/10/2018 17:44

I don't think it's rude as you're offering to pay her. It's then up to her whether she wants to or not. If not then you will have leave the brownie rota as your circumstances have changed.

BlueJava · 26/10/2018 17:45

To be honest I think that is perfectly reasonable and the rate sounds fine.

Butterymuffin · 26/10/2018 17:45

Surely a short journey like that would be fine for working from home? You could count it as lunch break / whatever break time you're legally entitled to. To be honest your setup should make it easier to do your share than most working folk.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 26/10/2018 17:46

I think that’s unlikely to go down well.

The lift share thing is surely all about saving time, not money. I can’t believe £5 would be enough to make it worth anyone’s while, but I don’t think money is the answer anyway.

3 times a month seems a lot if there are 4 kids involved. Were you doing more than your fair share? If you were then maybe you can cut back, and then just work a bit later on the nights you do have to go?

Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:47

Oh a mixed bag - either definitely yes or no

No, not a stranger for goodness sakes! Another mother of one of the girls.

Perhaps best I see about getting a nanny for that afternoon slot

Ducking out to do a journey is not an option

OP posts:
Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:47

It would be £15 a month not £5 to be clear

Or more?

OP posts:
Labradoodliedoodoo · 26/10/2018 17:48

30 minutes driving almost and 4 children. Could you offer a bit more?

FishesThatFly · 26/10/2018 17:48

As mentioned previously, can't you swap your allocation?

Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:48

@BertrandRussell

If one was ill, we would swap

This would be a formal arrangement to take over my slot

OP posts:
Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:49

No can’t swap

It’s once a week. On that day I don’t finish until 15 mins after brownies finish so not chance to take or collect

Perhaps nanny?

OP posts:
Labradoodliedoodoo · 26/10/2018 17:49

Milage is usually 45p per mile

RiverTam · 26/10/2018 17:50

good lord, if it's going from 4 to 3, if I was one of the other mums I'd just say 'congrats on your job' and be doing the pick up once every 3 weeks instead of once every 4. Fuck's sake.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 26/10/2018 17:52

Would childcare before brownies be useful to you? Where will your daughter be between school and brownies? If it would be helpful then I guess a nanny, though a local teenager or student would probably be happy to do it too if the driving was safe enough (I’m remembering my teenage child driving around years here...)

Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:52

@RiverTam

I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood

OP posts:
Cachailleacha · 26/10/2018 17:52

Why are you collecting them 3 times a month? If there are 4 girls including yours, then shouldn't you only be doing 2 of 8 (drop off and pick up) journeys?

Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:52

It’s less than 2 miles there
Traffic though

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 26/10/2018 17:53

So, once a week for 3 weeks?

Send a message to the other mothers explaining the situation, and saying you’re happy to do the month before or the month after if one of the others will swap with you. I can’t see why that would be a problem- am I misding something?

Original poster
Workreturner · 26/10/2018 17:54

Because we all agreed that picking up from brownies is better than picking up from school, taking back home, they all get changed and then in the car.

So I do three pick ups from brownies whereas others do a mix. It’s complicated ! But been working well

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread